joke:why a lawyer in new jersey is not a lawyer?

Can lawyers take a joke?

So while some people may think that lawyers can’t take a joke, don’t worry, we can. At least 214 times over. #1 Farmer Joe was in his car when he was hit by a truck.

What did the man say when he was certain he missed the lawyer?

However, even though he was certain he had missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud “THUMP.” Not understanding where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn’t see anything, he turned to the priest and said, “I’m sorry Father.

Who are some famous people who said “he is an attorney”?

– John Gay (1685-1732), English dramatist. Peachum, in The Beggar’s Opera, act 1, sc. 9, Air 11. #90 I would be loath to speak ill of any person who I do not know deserves it, but I am afraid he is an attorney. – Samuel Johnson (1709-84), English author, lexicographer.

What is the difference between a good and a bad lawyer?

A: A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer. #34 Q: What’s the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

What did the old lawyer say to his wife when he died?

An old, stingy lawyer was dying and was determined to prove wrong the old saying; “You can’t take it with you.” He told his wife to go down to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. His plan: Put the bags directly over his bed and when he died grab them on his way up to heaven. One day the old ambulance chaser died. When his wife was up cleaning in the attic one day, she came across the forgotten pillowcases. She then said to herself, “That old fool. I knew he should have had me put them in the basement!”

What happened to the doctor and lawyer in the car?

A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask. The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed it and put it away.

How many lawyers change light bulbs?

A1: It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb to his light bulb.

How many jokes does Filevine have?

From the number of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean being ‘a good start’ to the question of ‘how many of lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb’, we decided to make a list of every lawyer joke we could find (even those that had very little to do with a lawyer), tallying up 214 jokes that make us facepalm, shake our heads, giggle and outright laugh.

What happened to farmer Joe?

Farmer Joe was in his car when he was hit by a truck. He decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe.

What did Farmer Joe say to Bessie?

Farmer Joe said, “Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road….”

Who laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah right. And just where are you going to?

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”

Who asked the lawyer his name?

St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in his book.

Who turned to the lawyer and told him this was to be his house?

St. Peter turned to the lawyer and told him this was to be his house.

Why did a lawyer yell at the driver when a 18 wheeler came out of nowhere?

“NOOO!” he screamed because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it would never be the same. Finally, a cop came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling, “MY BENTLEY DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!!!”

What did the lawyers do in the diner?

Two lawyers went into a diner and decided to order drinks. They felt hungry after a long day so they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat them.

What does the attorney tell the accused?

The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news.”

Can you blame anyone else for falling in your driveway?

You can’t blame anyone else if you fall in your driveway…

An irate woman bursts through the doors of a bar, angrily screaming, "All lawyers are assholes!" This enrages a patron at the end of the bar, who stands up and shouts, "Hey! I take offense to that!"

"Why?" she asks, sneering at him, "You a lawyer or something?" "No," he retorts, "I'm an asshole!"

One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues,

when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver's side door with him standing right there.

Lawyers

The local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The volunteer in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of more than $600,000 you give not a penny to charity. ...

Lawyer Joke

Did you hear about the new stamps with famous lawyers? Apparently they got recalled because people got confused which side to spit on.

Three lawyers and three engineers are travelling by train to a conference

The three lawyers buy a ticket each while the engineers by only one. The lawyers laugh at the engineers crying how can three people travel by train using only one ticket. The engineers respond with “you’ll see”.

Five surgeons were talking about the best patients..

First surgeon says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything on the inside is numbered."

A lawyer wins his first truly huge case with a multi-million dollar payoff

He's flying high. He drives to the office the next Monday in shiny new threads with all of the most expensive trimming, driving the most expensive imported Bentley he can find. Everyone at the office needs to see this, he thinks, so he gets there super early to park right in front of the building, ...