when to get a lawyer in a divorce

by Geovanny Harber 10 min read

You might consider hiring an attorney to handle your divorce if you and your spouse:

  • Have a contested divorce
  • Have complicated assets
  • Have a lot of real estate property
  • Have a history of domestic violence or power imbalance

There's a problem with abuse. You think your spouse is lying about certain issues or being vindictive. Your spouse has retained an attorney. Your divorce involves children or complicated financial issues.Sep 24, 2021

How do you become a divorce attorney?

Register for the bar exam.

  • All states have a generous limit of how many times you can take the bar exam, but you have to pay the fee each time. ...
  • Exam fees vary from discounted student rates of less than $100 to a high of over $1,000. ...
  • Application to the bar is a complex procedure including a background check, fingerprints, and extensive references.

What to look for in a good divorce lawyer?

You need someone who can take the following actions on your behalf:

  • Review the circumstances surrounding your divorce and how state laws are likely to apply;
  • File the appropriate legal documents with the court and respond to any pleadings you receive from your spouse;
  • Appear by your side at divorce-related hearings, making effective legal arguments on your behalf;

More items...

What questions should you ask a divorce attorney?

  • We match 50,000 consumers with lawyers every month.
  • Our service is 100% free of charge.
  • Nolo is a part of the Martindale Nolo network, which has been matching clients with attorneys for 100+ years.

How to find a good divorce lawyer?

How do I know if my divorce lawyer is any good?

  • The best attorneys should have a good legal strategy in divorce proceedings.
  • An ideal attorney will be open, honest, and empathetic in your initial interview.
  • A potential lawyer should return phone calls and meet all of your legal divorce needs as an attorney.

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How to deal with divorced spouse?

When you and your spouse decide to divorce, if you can communicate, try to talk about each of your ideal outcomes for child custody, visitation, child support, property division, and alimony. It's no surprise that children fare much better after a divorce if the parents can continue to facilitate a quality relationship with the child and each other. If you find that you're on the same page and are both willing to put your agreement in writing, you might be able to save time and money by not hiring an attorney to go to trial for your case. However, even the most agreeable couples can hit roadblocks during the settlement process, so be prepared to consider mediation and/or hire an attorney if that happens.

What to do when you get divorced and a judge signs your judgment?

It's important to understand that when you agree to the terms of the divorce, and a judge signs your judgment, you will be bound by that agreement and court order.

What If I Can't Afford an Attorney?

If you can't afford an attorney, you can call your local legal aid office to see if you qualify for assistance. Most legal aid programs have limited resources, so you might only have the opportunity to speak with an attorney over the phone. In some cases, especially those involving domestic violence, legal aid can furnish an attorney to work with you for the entirety of your case.

What is Nolo divorce?

Nolo.com also provides legal information about divorce and offers low-cost products, such as books on divorce, that can help you understand the process and allow you to download useful forms.

What is collaborative divorce?

In collaborative practice, both sides agree to share information voluntarily and work towards a settlement. In order to use this process, your spouse will need to agree to a collaborative divorce and hire a collaborative lawyer as well.

Can you undo a divorce agreement?

If you think you entered into a bad deal or agreed to something you didn't understand, your only recourse will be to go back to court to try and change your final order. But undoing a divorce agreement is difficult and generally only allowed under very limited circumstances. For this reason, it's wise to hire a divorce lawyer to review your settlement agreement before you sign it.

Is divorce pleasant?

Do yourself a favor, hire an attorney and level the playing field. Although no divorce is pleasant, some are outright unbearable, especially if the other party in your case is hiding assets, destroying property, wasting marital funds, or threatening you with physical or financial ruin for filing for divorce.

Why are divorce lawyers called counselors?

While divorce lawyers are not therapists, there is a reason why lawyers are called “counselors.” They can listen to your complaints, help you formulate your goals, and make a legal strategy that will help you achieve your goals in your case. If you are so upset, angry or emotional that you can’t move forward toward your goals productively, they can do it for you. But, when you have no lawyer, there’s no one there to catch you if you mis-step.

What do you need to know about your children after divorce?

If you have children, you are going to need a parenting plan and a parenting schedule. You will have to determine who will have legal custody of your children. (In Illinois, instead of “custody” you need to figure out who will make major decisions for your children post-divorce.) You also need to figure out where your children will live, and set some basic post-divorce parenting ground rules.

How to get an amicable divorce?

To get an amicable divorce, you and your spouse have to agree about how you will deal with each and every issue in your divorce. Then you have to write down all of the terms of your agreement in a form that the court will accept. Then you have to go through the court process, present your documents to the judge, get the judge to approve them, and finalize your divorce.

What happens if you don't give financial information to your spouse?

If someone isn’t willing to provide the financial information you need to understand what’s at stake in your case, you’re divorce is going to be an uphill battle. You can’t divide what you don’t know exists. To find out what exists from a spouse who isn’t willing to come clean with financial information, you need a divorce lawyer.

How does divorce affect your life?

Divorce touches upon every major area of your life. It profoundly affects your finances, your family, your lifestyle, your home, and your psyche. To get through your divorce well, even with a lawyer, requires you to have your head together (at least a little bit). When you don’t have a lawyer AND you’re an emotional wreck, you risk making a wreck of your life.

Can I get divorced without a lawyer?

If you and your spouse agree on everything in your divorce, then maybe you can manage to get divorced without a lawyer. (I say maybe because you still have to consider how complicated everything else is in your case. If you and your spouse are both multi-millionaires, and you own several businesses and multiple homes, you are going to need lawyers even if everything in your divorce is agreed!)

Do you have to figure out if you are entitled to spousal support?

The laws surrounding spousal support/maintenance/alimony are anything but clear. Not only do you have to figure out if you or your spouse will be entitled to receive support, but you also have to determine how much support will be paid, and how long it will last. Each one of those determinations requires you to thoroughly understand the divorce law in your state, and to know how the law will apply to the specific facts of your case.

What is the primary goal of a lawyer?

Lawyers are supposed to work under one primary goal: the relentless pursuit of their clients’ interests. If you convey to a lawyer that your interest is specifically an amicable divorce, then that’s just what you should expect.

What is mediation in divorce?

Divorce mediation typically involves a neutral mediator – usually a divorce lawyer – so he or she can assist you and your spouse to reach an agreement that both of you can live with. A divorce mediator will not represent you or your husband, and as such can’t give either of you legal advice. Rather, a mediator will help you identify the issues that need resolution and assist in creating a divorce agreement that is in compliance and alignment with applicable laws.

What to do if you can't agree to custody?

If you and your spouse are unable to agree to a custody arrangement, then you also need to hire your own lawyer to get help sort this aspect of the divorce out. Many factors are in play in a custody decision. A divorce lawyer who understands the fine print of the laws that apply where you live gives you a far better chance ...

Can a divorce lawyer represent you?

A divorce lawyer legally cannot represent both of you in any divorce situation. So, if your spouse asks you if you can pay half of the legal bill, you should lean towards saying no. Any lawyer that your spouse hires is professionally unable to also serve your interests.

Can a lawyer give advice on divorce?

He or she will not give you legal advice. A simple divorce might be fine for a single lawyer situation, but be very sure you know your legal rights if you are the one who is unrepresented. If you want to be sure, you should hire your own lawyer to read and explain the divorce agreement before you sign it.

Is divorce scary?

The prospect of divorce is a frightening one in its own right. The marriage and union you had hoped would last, and likely worked hard to accomplish, is coming to an end. The last thing you need is your spouse’s attorney intimidating you in the courtroom . Even despite this, some people make the choice to represent themselves in divorce hearings, even if their husband has personally hired a lawyer.

Can a couple have a single lawyer?

Having said this, in certain situations, one couple might share a single lawyer in order to bring joint resolution to their divorce. This is usually restricted to couples that have already resolved custody issues, the division of debt, and asset partitioning on their own.

How to choose a divorce attorney?

There are several things to look for when choosing a divorce attorney. You want to choose someone who is experienced, respected, competent, and affordable. If they are proving to not be a good fit though, change them. Because you can, even if the reason is that you don't get on with him or her. Bear in mind however that if an attorney has worked on your case, you'll have to pay her/him for their time. Also, it might damage your case to change attorney's when you are close to a court ordered deadline, so only do it after careful consideration.

How to start a divorce?

One of the best and simplest ways to do that is to start a divorce file. In this file, keep every bit of paper that could have an effect on how your divorce proceedings. Gather copies of all important financial documents and access to all account information. Keep it organized and easy to navigate.

How do divorce lawyers save money?

That you'll save money and heartache by being organized. Divorce lawyers often charge by the hour. If you take responsibility for being as organized as possible, not only are you likely to walk away from your marriage with a more acceptable outcome, you'll probably save some money too.

How to deal with divorce issues?

While it may seem difficult, coming to an agreement with your spouse can alleviate a lot of the issues of divorce and it could also save a lot of ugliness down the line. If you have kids and common friends, it's likely that you and your spouse may be in each other's lives for years, even decades to come. Those interactions aren't going to be made easier if one or both of you hired some hard-nosed lawyers and caused each other pain. If you can work it out, you and your spouse can each part ways without feeling taken advantage of by the other.

What is mediation in divorce?

Mediation is a process whereby you and your spouse sit down with a neutral third party to negotiate several important areas of divorce. It's a low-cost way to address practically any other disagreement you and your spouse may have. While the mediator's decision is not binding, it allows a neutral party to provide their perspective on how divorce related issues should be addressed. However, mediation can only be a useful tool if you and your spouse can come to an broad agreement.

What happens if my spouse meets with an attorney?

If your spouse meets with an attorney first, it could create a conflict of interest that would not allow them to represent you. (Incidentally, this was a tactic that Tony used when mulling over divorce with Carmella in The Sopranos .) Secondly, attending several consultations can help you better understand the process, your rights, and help you to manage your expectations. Thirdly, meeting with several attorneys enables you to weed out the ones who aren't a great fit.

What does it mean to be uncontested in divorce?

An uncontested divorce means that you and your spouse agree child custody, spousal support, child support, visitation, and division of property. If you find that there is no need to fight over these things, you've already saved yourself thousands of dollars.

What is divorce attorney?

Divorce attorneys (a subsection of Family Law) specialize in the entire divorce process from start to finish, help smooth over differences between disagreeing parties, and even offer a sympathetic ear to listen when you feel overwhelmed or upset.

Why is it important to hire a divorce attorney?

Hiring a divorce attorney is often one of the first steps any person seeking a divorce will perform, and it is easily the most important, as their guiding hand can help make every subsequent step that much easier. Once you have planned to acquire an attorney’s services, your first big decision is which attorney to choose and why.

How to narrow your search for divorce lawyers?

While the number of attorneys you will encounter after a simple Google search can feel overwhelming, you can narrow your search by adding the search query to the divorce process you are seeking (arbitration, mediation, etc.). This will ensure that the lawyers who appear in your search results will specialize in the type of divorce you want.

What are the different ways to go about divorce?

Possible ways to go about the divorce process include arbitration, mediation, litigation, collaborative divorce, summary divorce, contested divorce, and others. Spend time researching these methods and select the path that you think will work best for you.

Why do you have to have an interview with an attorney?

Having an actual interview with the attorney can help solidify your mind if they are the right type of person with the right expertise for your case. To ensure that you get all the information you need to make an informed choice, create a list of questions beforehand, and ensure to go over each question in full depth.

What to bring to an interview for a lawyer?

Be sure to remember to bring a pen and paper with you when performing your interviews. Penning down notes will help you remember what the lawyers said when you are making your decision later.

What is the marriage.com course?

If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.

What is a divorce attorney?

A divorce attorney is someone who will be on your side and be able to think through legal decisions rationally, Dr. Hafeez explains. A divorce attorney can also advise you against taking certain actions that you might make in haste, anger, and emotion that could harm you down the road from a legal standpoint.

Do you lose friends when you get divorced?

When people get divorced friends are bound to take signs, Dr. Hafeez explains. The sad reality is that you will likely lose some friends, as will your spouse. This is just one of the reasons why it’s essential to find a support group of other soon-to-be or newly divorced people.

Can a will have your spouse as a benefactor?

Your will probably has your spouse as your main benefactor. You will need to alter your will to limit their portion of your estate, Quick states. Your medical directive gives them power to make all medical decisions should something dire happen to you. You will not want your soon-to-be-ex making life or death decisions about you if something unthinkable were to happen during divorce proceedings.

Is divorce difficult?

Divorce is difficult, and it is helpful to have people you can lean on for strength and support. Find a support group or friends who are going through a divorce; they’ll have a better understanding of what you are going through than someone who has never been down the same road, Quick says.

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