when its time to talk to a divorce lawyer

by Lloyd Jacobson 5 min read

You should speak with a divorce attorney if: You want to get divorced from your spouse. You’re considering getting a divorce but want to explore other possible options.

Full Answer

Do divorce lawyers charge by the hour?

Divorce lawyers often charge by the hour. If you take responsibility for being as organized as possible, not only are you likely to walk away from your marriage with a more acceptable outcome, you'll probably save some money too. One of the best and simplest ways to do that is to start a divorce file.

What do divorce lawyers not want you to know?

That the divorce process should never be used for vengeance One of the secrets that your divorce lawyer might not want you to know is that divorce proceedings are not used punitively. Sometimes, parties want to stick it to their soon to be ex-spouse as recompense for something they did.

Can you come to an agreement in a divorce at any time?

"Divorce lawyers won't tell you that you can come to a full agreement in your case at any time," says divorce attorney Russell D. Knight. Instead, they would prefer to engage in the lengthy process of "discovery"—tallying debts and assets—before drawing up the final documents.

Why doesn't my attorney want to talk to me?

Your attorney is very likely in his or her office, but just don't want to talk to you. That could be because they are working on someone else's case, or maybe because they think you talk too much and keep them on the phone too long.


How do you know when it's the right time to divorce?

10 Signs That It's Time to DivorceYou No Longer Communicate with Your Spouse. ... Your Marriage Lacks Intimacy. ... One Spouse Is Causing Financial Hardship. ... The Relationship Isn't a Top Priority. ... You Aren't Willing to Argue with Your Spouse. ... Opinions Concerning Children Greatly Differ. ... You Don't Feel Respected by Your Partner.More items...•

Should you talk during divorce?

There's a lot of gray area on this topic, but a basic rule is simply to keep silent. Don't talk about your divorce with friends, relatives, co-workers or even in-laws. Your wife's family may take your side at first – especially if she left you – but they'll eventually forgive her.

How do you start the conversation I want a divorce?

Before starting 'the conversation' make a list of the reasons you want a divorce. Try to keep the reason simple and ones that don't blame and accuse. Remember that they will remember what you said for a long time. Remind them of the efforts you have made to save the marriage.

Can you talk to your spouse during a divorce?

Legally speaking, you can have any discussions you want with your soon-to-be ex-husband or ex-wife while your case is going forward unless there is an order of protection in place prohibiting contact between the two of you.

What can be used against you in a divorce?

Spending marital money on extramarital affairs. Transferring marital funds to another person before a separation. Spending unreasonable amounts on business expenditures. Selling marital assets below the market value.

How do you deal with a difficult spouse in a divorce?

Red Flag: How to deal with divorcing a difficult husbandStop listening to him and giving him power over you. ... Hire an attorney, and listen to his/her advice. ... Make a plan, and don't deviate—regardless of his behavior. ... Be a good parent and a good person. ... Get help if you need it.

How do I know my marriage is over?

"If you're no longer spending any time together, if one or both partners is spending all their time at work, with friends, online — and if feels like a relief not to be with each other — it's a sign that you've already disengaged from the marriage." 9 You don't support or listen to each other.

Does it make a difference who files for divorce first?

Filing for divorce first does not give you any inherent rights over your spouse. One benefit is that if the specific facts of your case warrant, you could have a choice of which county—and sometimes which state — to file the paperwork in. To be clear, you cannot just file in any ol' location.

What to do before telling your spouse you want a divorce?

9 Steps for Telling Your Spouse You Want a DivorceDon't Ambush Your Spouse. Even if your spouse knows how unhappy you are, there is no assurance he/she isn't in denial about a divorce. ... Pick a Private Place. ... Be Prepared for Anger. ... Plan What to Say. ... Don't Blame. ... Stay Calm. ... Avoid a Trial Separation. ... Maintain Boundaries.More items...•

Should I block my husband during divorce?

The lengths to which you go to protect your privacy from your spouse during a divorce depend on your relationship. If you are going through a cordial, uncontested divorce, you might not feel blocking your spouse is necessary. However, if you two are not on good terms, consider blocking them from all your accounts.

What are the stages after a divorce?

It's tough to say which is more challenging. The emotional process can be broken down into 5 stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. D-A-B-D-A. Those 5 stages represent grief over the loss of a relationship and marriage.

How do I screw over my husband in a divorce?

How to Screw Over Your Husband In a DivorceDon't Act Out of Spite. In this divorce, you should never act out of spite. ... Be the Bigger Person. ... Wanting to Damage Him Will Only Backfire. ... Focus on Protecting Your Rights. ... Hire an Experienced Divorce Lawyer. ... Free Consultation With a California Divorce Lawyer.

What should I do when I begin to explore divorce?

When you begin to explore divorce, you should speak with a family divorce attorney who can clarify your alternatives. If you have a cooperative partner, you may have a Friendly Divorce and guarantee that each partner’s financial and emotional requirements are fulfilled.

Why do I get divorced?

To make matters worse, a lack of communication has regularly been identified as one of the leading reasons for divorce. If you and your partner feel as if you are no longer communicating with each other, you may want to consider divorce seriously. 7. You’ve made changes, but nothing has changed.

How to overcome infidelity?

Some couples can overcome infidelity and maintain a devoted relationship. If your partner wants to be with the individual, the marriage is gone. It is a clear indication that it’s time to talk to a divorce attorney. 9. Trust Issues. Another pillar of a happy marriage is trust.

Why is disagreement a good thing in marriage?

1. You’re getting into a lot of fights. Disagreements may be a good aspect of a marriage if they are used to negotiate and grow. Unfortunately, harmful behaviour such as blaming, name-calling, and even emotional or physical violence may occur during fights.

Does divorce affect children's emotional well-being?

It has been shown that, in certain cases, children’s emotional well-being increases after their parent’s divorce.

How many married couples end up divorced?

Marriages are complicated relationships with ups and downs. According to the American Psychological Association, in the U.S., about 40 to 50 percent of married couples end up divorced. This makes the decision to divorce a hard one. In today’s post, we outline some of the most common warning signs that your marriage might be heading towards divorce, and when it might be time to contact a divorce attorney.

Why do I stay in a marriage?

Staying in a marriage for the sake of the kids can do a lot of harm to yourself, your partner and your children. Raising children in an unhealthy atmosphere can wreak havoc on their lives.

Can a one-sided marriage be divorced?

If you find yourself in a one-sided relationship where your spouse isn ’t doing their part, it might be time to consider a divorce. Marriage only works if there’s a partnership. Both parties need to contribute to the marriage in order for it to thrive.

Is it time to divorce if you have been abused?

If there is any physical or emotional abuse, it’s time for a divorce. There is no circumstance where abuse is acceptable and you owe it to yourself (and kids) to protect your physical and emotional well being.

1. Your must-haves and your goals

What can’t you live without? What do you want your life to look like post-divorce?

2. The true and unannotated version of events

State the facts clearly and plainly and without critical comments about your spouse or the important events in question.

What happens when you discover your affair?

The day your affair was discovered will be one of those days you aren’t likely to ever forget. With the secret you worked hard to hide now out in the open, your two worlds have collided, and you are left to deal with the great emotional damage you caused to those you care about most.

Why is confidentiality important in divorce?

The confidentiality shared in the attorney-client relationship is important to your attorney’s ability to be your best advocate, and counselor in the divorce process. This is a “no judgment” zone. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing this kind of information with your divorce attorney, you may want to consider that this may not be ...

What are some secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you?

Below are twenty secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you. 1. It's going to cost more than you bargained for. It's not always the case—but more often than not, the costs associated with your divorce will often be higher than your lawyer's original estimate.

How to choose a divorce attorney?

There are several things to look for when choosing a divorce attorney. You want to choose someone who is experienced, respected, competent, and affordable. If they are proving to not be a good fit though, change them. Because you can, even if the reason is that you don't get on with him or her. Bear in mind however that if an attorney has worked on your case, you'll have to pay her/him for their time. Also, it might damage your case to change attorney's when you are close to a court ordered deadline, so only do it after careful consideration.

How do divorce lawyers save money?

That you'll save money and heartache by being organized. Divorce lawyers often charge by the hour. If you take responsibility for being as organized as possible, not only are you likely to walk away from your marriage with a more acceptable outcome, you'll probably save some money too.

What is mediation in divorce?

Mediation is a process whereby you and your spouse sit down with a neutral third party to negotiate several important areas of divorce. It's a low-cost way to address practically any other disagreement you and your spouse may have. While the mediator's decision is not binding, it allows a neutral party to provide their perspective on how divorce related issues should be addressed. However, mediation can only be a useful tool if you and your spouse can come to an broad agreement.

What does it mean to be uncontested in divorce?

An uncontested divorce means that you and your spouse agree child custody, spousal support, child support, visitation, and division of property. If you find that there is no need to fight over these things, you've already saved yourself thousands of dollars.

What is fault based divorce?

Fault-based divorce is when one spouse committed an act that gives legal justification to the ending of the marriage. These acts include adultery, a felony conviction, cruelty, or desertion.

How to start a divorce?

One of the best and simplest ways to do that is to start a divorce file. In this file, keep every bit of paper that could have an effect on how your divorce proceedings. Gather copies of all important financial documents and access to all account information. Keep it organized and easy to navigate.