what do you ask the divorce lawyer at the first meeting

by Augustine VonRueden 6 min read

First, ask yourself: Are you sure you actually need an attorney?

  1. Ask them to describe their approach to the divorce process. Each lawyer you speak to should have a slightly different answer to this. ...
  2. Ask about communication. How will they check in with you throughout the process? ...
  3. Ask how you’ll be able to monitor the status of your case. Many lawyers are incorporating technology into their practices – which is a good thing for you. ...
  4. After you lay out your case, ask where they see things potentially going off track. This is a good chance to get help thinking ten steps ahead. ...
  5. Talk about payment.

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Full Answer

What should I bring to my first meeting with my divorce attorney?

If you have decided to file a divorce, or your spouse has filed a divorce against you, your narrative needs to be more detailed — probably three to 10 pages. The next group of items that you will need to bring to your first meeting with you attorney is financial information.

What questions should I ask my divorce lawyer?

After you’ve laid out the path that led you to pursue divorce and shared the outcome you’re hoping to achieve after your divorce is final, ask the lawyer where they’ve seen things going off the rails in similar cases they’ve worked on. What red flags did your story raise for them?

What questions should I Ask my Lawyer on my first meeting?

Your first meeting with your attorney is your chance to allay your worst fears – you should ask whatever questions you have. You have an attorney-client privilege with your lawyer, so ask away! It may be helpful for you to read through our frequently asked questions about divorce, custody, alimony, and more.

When should you meet with your divorce attorney?

If it is your first meeting with your divorce attorney, you probably fall into one of three categories. The first category is when you are unhappy in your marriage, know very little about divorce, and want to gather some basic information so you can make educated decisions about preserving or ending your marriage.

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What should a woman ask for in a divorce settlement?

You can ask for life insurance, a smaller share of your accumulated debt, more of the family heirlooms or jewelry, or a higher percentage of the retirement funds. Just like women, the men can ask for whatever they feel like they're entitled to within the divorce.

How do I prepare for my first meeting with a lawyer?

Tips For Meeting With Your Lawyer For the First TimeDress To Impress. ... Be Ready To Give Your Attorney Important Information About Yourself. ... Gather Your Evidence And Have It Ready For Your First Meeting. ... Get Your Facts Straight. ... Plan Something You Can Look Forward To For After Your Meeting.

What is the first thing to do when considering a divorce?

Top 10 Things to Do Before You File For a DivorceNever Threaten to Divorce Until You Are Ready To File. ... Organize Your Documents. ... Focus on Your Children. ... Make Sure You Have Three Months of Financial Resources. ... Obtain the Best Legal Advice You Can Get. ... Make Sure You Have Available Credit.More items...

What questions should I ask my lawyer?

Questions to Ask Your Lawyer During a Consultation1) What kind of experience do you have with similar cases?2) What would be your strategy for my case?3) Are there any alternatives to going to court?4) What are my possible outcomes?5) Who will actually handle my case?6) What is my role in my case?More items...•

What you should know before you talk to a lawyer?

10 Things You Should Know Before Contacting a LawyerHave Your Documents Ready. ... Research the Elements of Your Case. ... Don't Call if You Just Have a Question. ... You May Not Speak to a Lawyer Right Away. ... Do Not Ask the Legal Support Staff for Advice. ... Don't Provide Too Much Information. ... Answer the Lawyer's Specific Questions.More items...•

What do you wear to meet with a lawyer?

The standard attire for meeting with you lawyer should be business casual. Wear dress pants, a nice shirt or top. Women should wear a conservative dress or skirt. Nothing too revealing.

What can be used against you in a divorce?

Spending marital money on extramarital affairs. Transferring marital funds to another person before a separation. Spending unreasonable amounts on business expenditures. Selling marital assets below the market value.

What a woman should do to prepare for divorce?

9 Critical Steps Women Should Take To Prepare For DivorceGather your financial records. ... Open a Post Office Box. ... Start putting money away for legal and other professional fees. ... Open a new checking and savings account. ... Open new credit cards in your name only. ... Get a copy of your credit report.

Does it make a difference who files for divorce first?

Filing for divorce first does not give you any inherent rights over your spouse. One benefit is that if the specific facts of your case warrant, you could have a choice of which county—and sometimes which state — to file the paperwork in. To be clear, you cannot just file in any ol' location.

What is the hardest question to ask a lawyer?

12 Tough Questions to Ask a LawyerWhat's your opinion of the probate process?Under what conditions do you recommend a Living Trust?How do I protect my children from abusive relatives if something happens to me?Can I keep my kids from controlling their entire inheritance at 18?More items...•

What are 3 questions you should ask a lawyer before hiring?

Below are ten questions to ask your potential lawyer.How long have you practiced law? ... What type of cases do you generally handle? ... Who is your typical client? ... How many cases have you represented that were similar to mine?More items...•

How do you answer a lawyer question?

Give positive, definite answers when at all possible. Avoid saying, “I think”, “I believe”, or “In my opinion” if you can answer positively. If you do know, then say so. You can be positive about important things which you would naturally remember.

What to ask a divorce lawyer?

What red flags did your story raise for them? What questions is the lawyer asking you about your situation? This question is your chance to 1) make sure they’ve been hearing you and 2) get insights that could help keep your divorce process moving along without surprises.

How many lawyers should I hire for divorce?

You get to choose who helps you through it. That’s why I highly recommend interviewing at least 2-3 attorneys before selecting one. Don’t let anyone pressure you into working with them, either. This process is going to get harder before it gets easier, so it’s important that the lawyer by your side – the lawyer who is going to be learning a lot about the inner workings of your marriage, your finances, and more – is someone that you trust, respect, and actually like.

Why is it important to have an open mind when getting divorced?

Before you pull into the attorney’s parking lot, repeat this mantra: No two divorces are alike! No two divorces are alike! Having an open mind about the hard things— possible custody schedules, whether or not you need to sell the house, whether or not your family can continue to go on two weeks of vacation each summer— will help your prospective attorney come up with a strategy that meets your long term goals and makes sense for your unique circumstances.

What is the goal of hiring an attorney?

For many women, the ‘goal’ of hiring an attorney may simply be “get me outta this marriage!” But honing in on what you want your life to look like after the divorce dust has settled can be a useful tool for identifying how you want to work through the process of ending your marriage.

How long did it take Elizabeth to get divorced?

Having this goal in mind helped keep things moving, and as a result, her divorce took 364 days between her initial filing and final judgment.

How to get money from a prenup consultation?

If you want to get your money’s worth from a consultation, make sure you bring all of the documents associated with your prenup. The same goes if you and your spouse have started working out a separation agreement (or other agreement related to your pending split) in writing.

What does Christy do in a divorce?

For Christy, receiving this information allows her to give the most bang for a potential client’s buck in terms of an initial consultation. She can give a prospective client a pretty good idea of what will happen to each of those assets and liabilities in a divorce and help a potential client understand what their financial picture will look like post divorce.

What happens if a case goes to court?

No one knows for sure what will happen once your case goes to court, but an experienced attorney will have at least an idea of what you can expect throughout your case, unless the case is highly unusual. If your attorney is knowledgeable and experienced enough, this should be an easy question to get answered.

Is it easy to get divorced?

G oing through a divorce is never easy, but with the right divorce attorney, you’ll feel more confident about having the representation you need so that your wishes can be accommodated. After all, each side in a divorce situation needs someone who is representing them to the fullest so that neither side feels cheated in the end.

Do you have to know which party is moving out of the house?

In most divorce cases, at least one party moves out of the home, and you need to know which one that is for your case. Most times, this decision is simply a personal one, but in cases such as domestic violence and other situations, the attorney might have a specific answer to this question.

Does divorce cost money?

All divorces cost money, but if your lawyer does things that are unnecessary or out of the ordinary, it could add onto the total cost and become burdensome for you. Make sure your divorce attorney is trying to help you keep your costs as low as possible.

Do you know who is going to be with you in court?

You should always know who is going to be with you when you go to court. If you’re working with a one-person law firm , you won’t need to ask this question , but the bigger the firm , the more important it is to get this answer. You should establish some rapport with that person beforehand.

Can a divorce attorney send documents by snail mail?

This might sound like a silly question, but since most people send electronic documents without even thinking about it, you should expect no less from your divorce attorney. Make sure the firm doesn’t still send out documents by snail mail.

Can a divorce be drawn out?

No one wants a long, drawn-out divorce since most couples want the process taken care of as soon as possible. Nevertheless, the length of the process is dictated by many things, and your lawyer should be able to give you at least an estimate of how long you’ll have to wait for the process to be completed.

Why is it important to ask a divorce attorney about their experience?

First, it will test the divorce attorney's knowledge and experience of the divorce process and divorce law. Second, it will educate you on what specifically the attorney can and will do with you to help mitigate the costs. Do not settle for a generic answer.

What can a divorce attorney do for you?

An experienced and knowledgeable divorce attorney will provide you with the tools to communicate better with your spouse. These tools include how to communicate with your spouse, when to communicate with your spouse and how to diffuse conflict.

What happens if an attorney cannot provide references to former clients?

If an attorney cannot provide you with multiple references to former clients, that attorney may not have much success representing clients. The former clients should also be types of cases similar to yours. I am not referring to you going through a divorce and getting a referral to a prior divorce client.

What is spousal support?

Spousal support, also called alimony, is either temporary or ordered at the final judgment. Most divorce cases include both temporary spousal support and spousal support at the judgment phase. We are not going to go into a lengthy discussion about spousal support.

What happens if an attorney does not have a solid command of the law?

If the attorney does not have a solid command of the law on these issues, he or she may lack the experience you need. This is especially true if you expect your divorce to be contested and high conflict. Questions to ask a divorce attorney on the first visit about the divorce process. 1.

What does it mean when an attorney struggles with answering this question?

If an attorney struggles with answering this question, he or she may be a poor communicator. Organized and disciplined attorneys have a proactive communication style that fits the particular client.

Why do you use "likely" in divorce?

I use the word "likely" because there are facts you may not know and which may surprise you during the divorce.

How to prepare for alimony?

Alimony is a numbers game. Sometimes the best way to prepare and present the back alimony case is to play the numbers game using experts. For example, forensic accounting experts and vocational rehabilitative experts can help support or defend an alimony claim.

How often do attorneys talk to their clients?

Some attorneys will talk to their clients on a weekly basis or more. Other attorneys will only talk to their clients when their clients contact them. Yet other attorneys religiously follow the one phone call a month to do an overview strategy session no matter how many times the client has talked to the attorney in the past 30 days. There isn’t a right answer, but it’s good to know in advance what the scope of communication will be.

What is the greatest tragedy in divorce cases?

The greatest tragedy in divorce cases is when a custody battle spirals out of control for months or even years. The attorneys have a lot of say in controlling or mitigating some of the emotional responses in these cases and keeping things under control.

What is collaborative divorce?

What is a collaborative divorce and am I eligible for one? A collaborative divorce model is one that focuses on a win-win settlement agreement. You can consider it the opposite of going to court. Does the attorney you’re meeting with think that this is a reasonable possibility in your case? Why or why not?

What is single pot divorce?

Divorce cases are ”single pot” cases, where the monies spent on the case can correspondingly lead to a decrease in money available for the parties. Cost-benefit analysis is required at every stage of the game.

What is a good deal in a case?

Even if your case does not step foot in a courtroom, it’s good to have an understanding of how the law works to get a basic idea of what is a good deal in your case. Of course, a good deal also accounts for subjective things like your particular needs or your spouse’s particular needs.

How to know if you're getting a reasonable deal?

This requires a lot of trust, so the best thing you can do is check the attorney out thoroughly at the beginning of the process, so you understand how you guys will work together.

What to ask your attorney about divorce?

Ask about the general process and steps, the documentation needed, temporary orders/agreements that may be needed, and an approximate timeline.

Why is it important to ask an attorney about a complaint?

One of the biggest complaints lawyers get is that their clients feel that they often don’t know what is happening with their case. That is why it is important that you find an attorney you will feel comfortable communicating with. Here are some of the most important questions to ask your attorney when you meet for the first time: 1.

How to save on attorney fees?

Your fee agreement should explain everything you need to know about billing but most importantly you should discuss ways you can save on fees. For example, it may be more cost efficient to save up all of your questions that arise throughout the day or the week then email them over and schedule a phone call to answer the questions. A quick phone call may be cheaper than the attorney answering multiple questions everyday for a week.

How many attorneys work on a client's case?

In some firms, only one attorney works on the client’s case whereas other offices take a more collaborative approach.

What to do if you have a negative feeling about your spouse?

Even if you have negative feelings about your spouse, it is better to try to deal with those issues on your own instead of fighting them out. Your attorney will work to help you get a fair settlement and protect your interests while you work on moving forward with your life after your divorce.

What happens when you are amicable in a divorce?

When parties are ethical and open about their financial worth during an amicable divorce, each party will know what debts and assets that the other party has. During a contested divorce, some parties may try to hide their assets. Financial professionals may be needed to track down hidden assets.

Can an attorney save money on divorce?

But, your attorney should be able to have a discussion with you about what the attorney can foresee at that time such as costs of mediation and potential experts that may be helpful. You can save money on your divorce, and your attorney should be able to point out areas where you can save on fees and where the costs of litigating an issue might ...

What is the first meeting you have with a divorce attorney?

The first category is when you are unhappy in your marriage, know very little about divorce, and want to gather some basic information so you can make educated decisions about preserving or ending your marriage.

What to do before a divorce meeting?

Before your first meeting remember the 4Ps. Preparation prevents poor performance. As a matter of fact, remind yourself of the 4Ps throughout the divorce process. Before your first meeting, you need to prepare two documents if at all possible. One is simple biographical information– your full name, address, phone numbers, place of employment, ...

How many pages should a divorce narrative be?

If you have decided to file a divorce, or your spouse has filed a divorce against you, your narrative needs to be more detailed — probably three to 10 pages . The next group of items that you will need to bring to your first meeting with you attorney is financial information.

What is a citation in divorce?

You may have been served with a citation — an official document from the court advising you that you have been sued for divorce and giving you a specific time to respond to the court or ordering you to appear in court on a specific date.

Do you know if you are going to get divorced?

You do not really know whether or not you are going to get divorced. You just want to know what your options are. The second category is when you have made the decision to end your marriage and you are meeting with your divorce attorney for the first time because you want to file a divorce.

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What to do if you have been keeping a calendar of events?

Calendars/Journals. If you’ve been keeping a calendar of events or journaling, you should consider bringing those to help jog your memory about timeline and events. Inflammatory Documents. Don’t hold back from your attorney.

What is an intake form for family law?

Most family law lawyers have an intake form that gives them a snapshot of the issues and your goals, and gives them important details about you and your family. At McCabe Russell, we don’t require you to fill it out our intake form advance, but if you can, it helps us move forward. Agreements.

What is the purpose of texting your spouse?

It gives the attorney a sense of how you and your spouse or co-parent communicate, and it gives your attorney an opportunity to coach you through good and bad responses.

Do you need a mortgage statement and a copy of deed?

Mortgage Statement and/or Copy of Deed. It’s not uncommon for clients not to know what is owing on their own mortgage or even whether they are on the mortgage. Bringing a mortgage statement and a copy of the deed can help your lawyer determine the answers to these important questions.

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