lawyer joke what do you want it to be

What are the Funniest Lawyer jokes you've ever heard?

Jul 28, 2021 · These puns are so funny that they should be out lawed. Here are some lawyer puns for your entertainment. 1. A woman sued a hotel for losing her luggage. Unfortunately, she lost the case. 2. Don't judge a law book by its cover up. 3. Clowns …

Do lawyers make fun of themselves?

The lawyer drew all the shades in the room, looked outside to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and then whispered, "How much do you want it to be?" A variation A university committee was selecting a new dean. They had narrowed the candidates down to a mathematician, an economist and a lawyer.

Are there any lawyer puns that should be lawed?

Nov 06, 2019 · Lawyers be like: I wish you a happy day but in no way guarantee you one. *escapes liability* 75. I showed the damaged remains of my luggage to my lawyer and said, “I want to sue the airline.” “You don’t have much of a case,” he replied. 76. My attorneys have advised me I not yell timber, even if it’s going down. 77.

Are there any jokes about being a paralegal?

Jokes Lawyers / Money. An old man was on his death bed, and wanted to be buried with his money. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here's $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me." At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin.

What happened to the doctor and lawyer in the car?

A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask. The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed it and put it away.

What does the Hindu say about sleeping in the barn?

The farmer says that there are only 2 extra beds, and one person will have to sleep in the barn. The Hindu says, “I’m humble, I’ll sleep in the barn,” so he goes out to the barn. In a few minutes, the farmer hears a knock on the door.

What are the different types of lawyers?

Some of the most prominent types of lawyers include intellectual property lawyers, corporate lawyers, immigration lawyers, criminal lawyers, tax lawyers, and contract lawyers. Barristers mainly litigate during court proceedings and aid their clients through advocacy and legal opinions.

What is the role of a judge?

A judge is supposed to hold an unbiased frame of reference and assess the arguments of both parties that are present. Solicitors and barristers are the lawyers that are appointed to present the required evidence and arguments to the judge in charge. Here are some funny judge jokes that will charge you right up! 51.

What is law system?

Law is known to be a system in various countries through which communities regulate and legislate the actions of their citizens and create guidelines for admissible, as well as non-admissable behavior. We know that law is an extremely tough profession, so these great legal jokes and courtroom puns are available for your judge-ment.

What is two plus two?

An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation.

A variation

A university committee was selecting a new dean. They had narrowed the candidates down to a mathematician, an economist and a lawyer.

What happened to the doctor and lawyer in the car?

A doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road. The lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask. The doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed it and put it away.

What did Little Johnny say to his teacher?

The teacher called on Little Johnny for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Johnny answered, “A lawyer!”. 36.

What do the robbers take from the tellers?

While one of the robbers takes the money from the tellers, the other lines the customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall and proceeds to take their wallets, watches and other valuables. The first lawyer shoves something into the other one’s hand.

Do lawyers make easy targets?

Let’s be honest; lawyers make easy targets when it comes to humor. If this just so happens to be your chosen profession, don’t take it personally (sidebar: no litigation necessary). In fact, take it as a compliment.

Does Kim Kardashian have a law degree?

(Kim actually isn’t a lawyer yet. She takes the bar exam in 2022.) So, if your knowledge of legislation begins and ends with Law and Order, that’s OK. You don’ t need a law degree to get these jokes. You may not need a lawyer, but everyone can appreciate a good joke about one.

What did Smith say to his three trusted men?

He called for the three men he trusted most – his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman. He told them, “I’m going to give you each £30,000 in cash before I die.

Which profession is the oldest?

A surgeon, an architect an a lawyer are having a heated barroom discussion concerning which of their professions is actually the oldest profession. The surgeon says: “Surgery IS the oldest profession. God took a rib from Adam to create Eve and you can’t go back further than that.”. The architect says: “Hold on!

Who greeted the Pope?

The Pope was greeted first by St. Peter, who escorted him to his quarters. The room was somewhat shabby and small, similar to that found in a cheap B&B. The lawyer was then taken to his room, which was a palatial suite including a private swimming pool, a garden, and a terrace overlooking the Gates.

What did the rabbit say to the snake?

After feeling about the snake’s body for a few minutes, he asserted, “Well, you’re scaly, you’re slimy, you’ve got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you’ve got a forked tongue.

Will the NHS use rats?

The NHS has announced that it will no longer be using rats for medical experimentation. In their place, they will use solicitors. They have given three reasons for this decision: