i'm going to lose custody of my child because i cant afford a lawyer. how do i deal with it?

by Stefanie Hoppe 9 min read

In such a situation, one can consider filing a Pro se. Pro se means filing for child custody on your own without the help of a lawyer. It is an alternative method of child custody that saves parents money and helps them get the best possible outcome. However, there are various factors to consider before deciding to file.

Full Answer

What happens if you can't afford a child custody lawyer?

If you’re a responsible parent, you’re legally entitled to half of your children’s time regardless of how much money you have. But if you can’t afford a lawyer, it’s like you’re being punished for your income. Lawyers can get quite expensive, but you don’t want to take any chances and you need all the help you can get.

How can I lose custody of my child?

Losing custody of a child during a divorce or parentage proceeding often results from bringing the issue to the Court's attention. A parent who alleges physical child abuse against the other parent typically files a request for order. This request includes a declaration and supporting evidence of the abuse.

Can a non custodial parent lose custody of a child?

The court may give discretion on educational related decisions to the non-custodial parent and take parts of the custodial parent's joint legal custody away. It doesn't always have to be all or nothing. However, in extreme situations, that may be a reason to lose custody of a child.

Can I lose custody if I don’t do homework?

Therefore, if you are not putting in the time to do homework with your child, feeding, bathing, reading, taking him or her to the bus stop, you are at a disadvantage in a custody case. There is no better way to lose custody than to demonstrate to a judge that you are simply not involved in raising your child.

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What is considered an unstable home for a child?

The child may reside in a home that is not physically safe or supportive; it may have no heat, electricity, water, sewer disposal. The house may be in general ill repair. The second physical instability comes from the physical interactions that occur between family members.

How do you win a custody battle against a narcissist?

How Do You Win a Custody Case Against a Narcissist? Follow These 9 Steps#1 Remember That You Are Dealing With a Narcissist. ... #2 Take Note of Everything That Happens. ... #3 Stop or Limit Communication. ... #4 Contact Law Enforcement. ... #6 Ensure Your Physical Safety. ... #8 Continue Being Dependable. ... #9 Secure the Right Attorney. ... Stay Calm.More items...•

Do judges recognize a narcissist?

All attorneys, and especially judges, need to first recognize, understand, and then learn effective means to deal with the mental health disorder classification of 'personality disorders', and in particular, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, as it is often completely missed by many professionals.

What can be used against you in a custody battle?

The Reigning King of What Can Be Used Against You in a Custody Battle: Verbal or Physical Altercations. We wanted to start with the most simple pitfall to avoid: When tempers get high, it's quite alluring to get into a verbal sparring match with your ex-spouse.

What happens when a parent loses custody of a child?

When a parent loses custody, judges still typically order some limited parenting time for them , such as supervised visitation. Family courts often set conditions to allow the restricted parent to eventually earn unrestricted or additional time with the child.

Why do parents lose custody of their children?

Other behaviors and parenting issues that put the child's physical and emotional well-being at risk can also cause a parent to lose custody. Convictions for crimes or evidence of criminal activity, especially if the crimes are violent or if the victim was a child, typically cause a parent to lose custody.

What is considered emotional abuse in custody?

Courts consider emotional and psychological abuse when determining custody, especially if a parent has mental health issues that negatively impact their parenting (e.g., if a parent is a narcissist ). Neglect is a form of abuse in which a parent fails to meet the child's care needs.

How long can a parent have custody of a child with a DUI?

In Arizona, for example, the court can deny or restrict parenting time for a parent who has a DUI conviction within 12 months of the custody dispute.

What does it mean to be a child abuser?

If a parent physically abuses or neglects their child, courts typically award sole custody to the other parent. Child abuse is defined as any non-accidental physical harm to a child caused by a parent or caregiver.

How does interfering with the relationship with the other parent affect the child?

In addition to preventing the child from seeing the other parent, interfering with the child's relationship with the other parent includes badmouthing them to or in front of the child, lying about them and discouraging the child from wanting to spend time with them.

How to keep a custody journal?

Keep a custody journal to electronically organize evidence, document incidents and keep a record of parenting plan violations. Track actual parenting time and get reports showing parenting time violations. Use the secure messaging center to keep an accurate record of your conversations with the other parent.

Contemplate Your Options

Before you go to court, consider how confident you are about representing yourself. Many free legal aid organizations can assist you with handling related cases like the Jensen Family Law – Mesa.

Research

You will be entering a world of information during the course of your case. You’ll need to have extensive knowledge of the laws related to child custody and divorce. The more aware you are about what the court is asking you to do, the better prepared you will be.

File a Petition for Custody

To file for child custody, you must fill out a Petition and Order for Custody. You have to state the grounds on which you are seeking custody. Read the petition carefully and check that all boxes are filled correctly to avoid having your case dismissed.

Serve the Other Party

Each party has to serve their spouse with the child custody petition. You will be expected to serve your spouse outside of court on several occasions during your divorce or custody process. Serve them when you can, even if you think it might be risky.

Attend Hearings

When you file for child custody, you ask the judge to enter an order that will determine your rights to see your children. That means attending hearings is essential in the process. Attend court hearings even if you are not there representing yourself.

Be Prepared

Bring detailed notes about any meetings with your spouse and other adults involved in your case and work closely with everyone involved during these conferences. Be sure to mention in your notes any inconsistencies or inaccuracies in what they say. It most definitely won’t be an easy process, especially when you’re representing yourself.

How to lose custody of a child?

How to Lose Custody in 7 Easy Steps. 1. Not being the primary caretak er: In most households, one parent is most responsible for caring for the children's basic needs -- the so called primary caretaker. The parent who is the most involved in the children's daily lives usually has the edge in a custody case. Therefore, if you are not putting in the ...

Who handles contested custody cases?

It is critical that you seek out the advice of an experienced family law attorney, who has handled contested custody trials (not the attorney who did the closing on your house, or the lawyer who charges the lowest retainer to do an uncontested divorce.)

What is the goal of a parent seeking primary custody of their children?

Whether you are seeking primary custody of your children, joint decision making, or a customized parenting plan, your goal should be to survive the process while protecting your rights to your most valuable asset -- your children.

What does it mean when a judge looks favorably upon a parent?

Judges tend to look favorably upon a parent who demonstrat es that he/she supports the child's relationship with the other parent. A parent who is constantly denigrating the other parent, "leaking" anger, and negatively influencing the child's relationship with the noncustodial parent will be reprimanded.

What happens if you don't do homework?

Therefore, if you are not putting in the time to do homework with your child, feeding, bathing, reading, taking him or her to the bus stop, you are at a disadvantage in a custody case. There is no better way to lose custody than to demonstrate to a judge that you are simply not involved in raising your child. 2.

What happens if a parent acts out in front of a child's attorney?

Similarly, a parent who acts out in front of the child's attorney, social workers, teachers, neighbors, etc. will find himself confronted with a lot of negative testimony and evidence at trial. This is where the voice mails and emails also come into play.

Who handles contested custody cases?

It is critical that you seek out the advice of an experienced family law attorney, who has handled contested custody trials (not the attorney who did the closing on your house, or the lawyer who charges the lowest retainer to do an uncontested divorce.)

What is the goal of a parent seeking primary custody of their children?

Whether you are seeking primary custody of your children, joint decision making, or a customized parenting plan, your goal should be to survive the process while protecting your rights to your most valuable asset -- your children.

What does a judge look for in a parent?

Judges tend to look favorably upon a parent who demonstrates that he/she supports the child's relationship with the other parent. A parent who is constantly denigrating the other parent, leaking anger, and negatively influencing the child's relationship with the noncustodial parent will be reprimanded.

What happens if you don't do homework?

Therefore, if you are not putting in the time to do homework with your child, feeding, bathing, reading, taking him or her to the bus stop, you are at a disadvantage in a custody case. There is no better way to lose custody than to demonstrate to a judge that you are simply not involved in raising your child. 2.

Is custody gender neutral?

Custody laws are gender neutral, and this means that when the facts of a given case are applied to the governing law, a court may determine that it is in the best interests of the child to live primarily with the father, not the mother. Now, here is a list of the seven most common pitfalls of parties going through custody actions.

Do parents of minor children have joint custody?

From the outset, it is important for mothers and fathers to recognize that married parents of minor children start out with joint custody rights. This means that both parents have equal rights to their children, and the same right to pursue custody of their children in their divorce case. In a world where many households contain two working ...

Why do you go to the courthouse?

Another reason for you to go to your local courthouse is to see if they can recommend different legal aid societies. Some may have specific organizations that help people in your predicament. For instance, lots of lawyers will volunteer their time to help people from a community they came from. Law Schools.

What are the legal options for domestic violence victims?

Legal Options For Domestic Violence Victims. If you’re a domestic violence victim, you need more than help with just your custody case. During this process , you should also file for a restraining order against your abuser. Domestic violence victims not only need to protect themselves, but their children as well.

Does Harvard offer legal aid?

Even top law schools like Harvard offer legal aid programs with free or discounted prices. You’ll be assigned to work with a group of students and a supervising professor. In turn, your case is used as a learning experience for the students, while still providing top care. Your Local Bar Association.

How to lose a child custody case?

It is because there are no sure-fire ways to achieve a successful result in a child custody case. There are, however, ways you can assuredly lose one. Here are ten examples of how to “lose” a child custody case: 1.) Treat your children as extensions of yourself rather than as individuals. Some parents are so narcissistic they consider their ...

What happens if one parent disrupts domestic equilibrium?

If one parent is disrupting the domestic equilibrium, that parent may end up with fewer rights than they otherwise might have. 5.) Neglect the child’s needs.

Is parking Johnny in front of his iPad bad parenting?

Yes, parking little Johnny in front of his iPad all weekend is terrible parenting. But hectoring the offending parent won’t make it better. Nor will fruitless court appearances trying to change it. Compensate when you have the child, but let it go when you don’t.

Can courts restrict a parent's time?

Absent some proveable danger to the child, courts will not restrict a parent’s time because of lousy parenting.

Can a parent use their child as a soldier?

Some parents use their child as a soldier in their war against the other parent. They have that child spy on the other parent and report on his or her activities. When children are made soldiers in their parents’ war, they are always the first casualty. Don’t do it. 4.)

Do you pay a lawyer for a bad idea?

No, but that does feel good. You pay your lawyer for his or her knowledge of the law, the court system, the judge and all of the collateral factors influencing the outcome of your case. When your lawyer tells you something is a bad idea, listen!

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