how to write a custody agreement on paper to give to a lawyer

by Mr. Oswald Bernier 10 min read

Keep your letter focused on the child and his best interests. Begin your letter by introducing yourself and explaining your relationship to the parent and how long you've known her. Then, spend two or three paragraphs explaining why you think she should be awarded custody.

Full Answer

Can you write your own custody agreement?

You can have an attorney write your custody agreement — or if you want to save money, you can write it yourself. To do this easily, you can use the Custody X Change app. You can wait to start writing until you've nailed down details with the other parent, or you can create drafts earlier in the process.

How do you write a letter to give custody?

Give yourself plenty of time to write and revise multiple drafts so you can present the best possible statement to the judge. Your letter should be well-organized and specific to your situation. It should demonstrate your genuine commitment to being a good co-parent, make a thoughtful argument in favor of your custody arrangement and show that ...

How to draft a custody agreement?

Sample Custody and Parenting Time Agreement

  • Select from the below sample provisions as appropriate: The parents agree to the following terms and conditions related to the parenting of their child (ren).
  • TYPE OF CUSTODY ARRANGEMENT. ...
  • PARENTING TIME. ...
  • TELEPHONE CONTACT. ...
  • SCHEDULE FOR SCHOOL BREAKS. ...
  • Spring Break. ...
  • Christmas Break. ...
  • Summer Schedule. ...
  • SPECIAL OCCASIONS AND HOLIDAYS. ...
  • SCHEDULE FOR HOLIDAYS. ...

More items...

How to evict someone without a written agreement?

  • The tenant will go next. ...
  • The tenant will need to provide evidence that you discriminated on the basis of a protected characteristic (race, gender, age, etc.) A bald accusation will not be enough.
  • One way to defend yourself against a charge of discrimination is to point out that you allowed the tenant to rent from you in the first place. ...

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What do you write in a custody letter?

Essential Declaration Letter TipsWrite clearly, and use your own words. ... Use bulleted lists for your major points.Don't insult or bash your ex. ... Attach evidence such as pay stubs or bank statements, but redact SSN and account numbers. ... Affirm that you are making your statement under oath, and under penalty of perjury.More items...•

How do I write a contract between two parents?

Contents of an Agreement The agreement should outline parenting time schedules, including visitation schedules, weekends, holidays, and any other information regarding the parenting schedule. The child custody agreement should detail what the pick-up and drop-offs to and from the parental home will be like.

What is the most common child custody arrangement?

The most common joint custody arrangements include the 2-2-3 plan and the 2-2-5 plan. Both involve spending alternate sets of days with either parent. Also common is the alternate week plan, where the child spends one week with a parent and the next week with the other.

What are child custody documents?

To start filing a petition for child custody, you will need to: Gather the documents you may need: a certified copy of your child's birth certificate, a declaration of paternity filed with your state's Bureau of Vital Records, an administrative child support order, and court orders involving your child.

How do you calculate child custody?

When deciding on a custody arrangement, you'll want to take the following into consideration.Your children's ages and personalities.Your family schedule.The career and social commitments of each parent.The academic and extracurricular activities to which your children are committed.More items...•

What do judges look for in child custody cases?

Mental and Physical Well-Being of Parents Parents' mental well-being is of great concern to a judge in a child custody case. Psychological disorders, overwhelming stress, drug or alcohol abuse, and mental health crises can prevent a parent from acting in their child's best interests.

What are the 3 types of custody?

There are three forms of joint custody, which are:Physical joint custody. When the child spends significant amounts of time with both parents.Legal joint custody. Where both parents make decisions over a child's upbringing.Joint physical and legal custody.

At what age can a child refuse to see a parent?

Age 18Legally, Your Child Can Refuse Visitation at Age 18 When your child reaches 18, he or she is an adult. Adults can decide who they spend time with. You will not be able to force your child to continue to see you. A family law court will no longer be able to enforce any possession or visitation clauses over an adult.

How do I make a family contract?

Seven Essential Features of an Effective Family ContractPrecise Wording. An effective contract begins by clearly defining the exact behaviors the child is expected to do or refrain from doing. ... Clear Rewards and Consequences. ... Bonus Clause. ... Child & Parent as Co-Creators. ... Re-negotiation. ... Signatures. ... Inspect What You Expect.

Can you make a contract with your parents?

Enforceable Contracts If your parent says to you, “Please come live with me, quit your job, give up your house, take care of me. And if you do that, in return, I will leave you my house, or I will leave you everything I have.” That technically is an enforceable contract. It's an agreement, just like any other contract.

Are contracts between family members enforceable?

Is a Contract Between Family Binding? Yet a contract between family members is just as binding and enforceable as a contract between strangers. It is not a defense that the other side to the contract is your mother.

What is a parent child contract?

A contract that is mutually developed and agreed on by parents and their children provides a way of outlining expectations as well as consequences or rewards. This process can be very satisfying for both the children and the parents.

How does a child custody agreement work?

In a child custody agreement, the parents draft an agreement that works to their satisfaction and present it to the court. The court will then either accept the child custody agreement, alter its terms, or reject certain provisions. Let's explore the best ways to draft an agreement to avoid contention.

What should be included in a child custody agreement?

The child custody agreement should detail what the pick-up and drop-offs to and from the parental home will be like. Important decisions, like issues related to religion, education, and extra-curricular activities should be ironed out in advance in the document. Lastly, there should be a clause that outlines how parents can make changes to ...

What is joint custody agreement?

Make sure to classify what kind of custody each parent agrees to. Custody can be classified as joint or sole. Joint custody is shared by both parents, while sole custody means one parent is the custodian. 1.

What is legal custody?

Legal custody refers to the right of a parent to make decisions for his child while physical custody involves the daily care of the child. The agreement should outline parenting time schedules, including visitation schedules, weekends, holidays, and any other information regarding the parenting schedule. The child custody agreement should detail ...

What should parents do to avoid adversarial decisions?

Arbitration and Mediation. Parents should try to avoid the adversarial process, especially if there are only a few decisions that cannot be agreed upon. If you have come close to ironing out the details, then seek assistance in the form of arbitration or mediation to conclude the last details.

What is child custody mediation?

Arbitration or mediation will involve a neutral third-party party who will work to assist parents in coming to an agreement that is beneficial to all parties. Before You Agree to Try Child Custody Mediation.

What is the best thing parents can do to protect each other?

The best thing parents can do to protect each other, and the child, is to be specific with all of the terms in the child custody agreement. If the terms of the child custody agreement are not specific, it may leave the door open for a new child custody suit.

What is the legal custody of a child?

LEGAL CUSTODY & DECISION MAKING. The mother shall have sole and exclusive custody of the children and all final decision-making authority related to significant matters impacting the welfare of the children, including but not limited to, matters of education, religion and health care.

Who has custody of children in California?

The mother shall have residential custody of the children. As such, the children will reside at the mother ’s residential address, and the mother shall be entitled to child support, which will be paid by the father.

How long does a father have to take vacation?

Vacations. The father shall have up to two (2) weeks of unrestricted access to the children, during the summer months, for vacation, provided the father works in good faith with the mother and uses best reasonable efforts to schedule such vacation on dates convenient for the mother.

How long does a father have to have access to his children?

The father shall have access to the children on every Father’s Day from time to time. Children’s Birthdays. If the father would not otherwise have access to a child on his or her birthday, the father shall nevertheless have access to such child for up to number hours. Father’s Birthday.

Can a father have access to his children on weekends?

The father will not have access to the children on any weekday, and shall only have access to the children on every other weekend (including 3 days weekends per school schedules). The only exception to the foregoing is as follows: Father’s Day.

What does a child custody attorney do?

Oftentimes, having a child custody attorney help draft an agreement that meets the needs of both parents and the child can prevent confusion and controversy later on by including all of the necessary language family courts want to see, along with personalized schedules and inclusions specific to the needs of your family.

How long do you have to notify the other parent of a move?

The parent intending to move the children must notify the other parent 45 days prior to any planned change in residence of the children. The notification must state, to the extent known, the planned address of the children, including the county and state of the new residence.

How far in advance do you have to notify your parents of your vacation?

The parent must notify the other parent verbally and in writing of their vacation plans a minimum of 30 days in advance and provide the other parent with a basic itinerary that includes dates of leaving and returning, destinations, flight information, and telephone numbers for emergency purposes. C.

Can the court change custody of minors?

2) The court may change the legal and physical custody of the minor children. J. In all other matters in exercising joint legal custody, the parents may act alone as long as the action does not conflict with any orders concerning the physical custody of the children. 2.

How to write a custody letter?

Start by introducing yourself and describing briefly the custody option you believe is best. The body of your letter will provide some reasons to back up your belief. If there are any urgent issues that hold key importance, address them first, then follow up with any other facts or circumstances.

What documents should be included in a letter of claim?

If you have documents that support your statements, such as check stubs to back up the wages you claim to earn, those should be included with your letter. Your declaration gives you an opportunity to present evidence to the court, even if you anticipate testifying in court.

What to do if your parent is writing a reference letter?

If the parent for whom you're writing a reference letter mentions any documents such as a letter filed by the other parent, ask if you can read them before you begin your letter. You want to make sure you have a basic understanding of the matters at issue in the case before you sit down to write your letter.

Where to put caption in letter?

For example, some courts require that you place the case's caption at the top of your letter. The caption is the heading at the top of all your court documents that gives the name of the court, the title of the case, and the case number.

Do you need to use legal terminology in custody letters?

There's no need to use legal phrases or terminology. In fact, using such phrases or "key words" may make the judge believe the content of the letter was prepared or coached by the parent. Keep in mind that courts generally use the "best interests of the child" standard to determine custody arrangements.

Do you have to sign a letter in front of a notary?

Sign your letter. Some courts may require you to sign your letter in the presence of a notary. Even if it isn't required, signing in front of a notary public won't hurt . It signifies that you are making the statements in the letter under oath and penalty of perjury.

Why is a custody agreement necessary?

A thorough and descriptive custody agreement is absolutely necessary not only for logistics, but also for your (and everyone else’s) mental well-being. When you feel like you have no control, you can revert back to the custody agreement. If it does not work in your favor, at least you have something to blame, right?!

How long does a parent have to provide a copy of a bill?

For example, Parent A (who received the bill from the doctor’s office) has 30 days to provide Parent B a copy of the bill requesting their portion of the payment. Additionally, Parent A has 30 days to provide Parent B a copy of the receipt or bank statement showing the payment was actually made.

How far in advance do you have to notify the other parent of a move?

How far in advance does one parent need to notify the other one of a move? A common theme in custody agreements is each parent must give 30-day advance notice of a change of address to the other parent, as well as to the court.

What is the right of refusal clause in a custody agreement?

Many custody agreements include a Right of First Refusal clause that states something in the ballpark of, “Each party shall have the first right of refusal to provide care for the minor child if the other party finds it necessary to have an alternat e caregiver for more than a four (4) hour period of time” (this example language was found here ).

What do you want your kids to be with you for?

You want your kids to be with you for every major event. You want to make all the decisions about the kids with your spouse. You want to live the life you dreamed of as a little girl…. …but here you are. Realizing that your dream was just a fairy tale.

Do you pay child support based on income?

Even when parents have equal physical parenting time with their child, it is common for child support to be paid from one parent to the other based on income. Additionally, out-of-pocket medical expenses should be covered in your agreement, as outlined above. But what about extracurricular activities?

Can a parent have physical custody of a child?

If one parent has primary physical custody, it can be assumed that the child will attend school in their school district… but still, get it clearly written into the agreement. Additionally, the child attending school in Parent A’s school district does not mean that Parent A gets to make all of the major decisions.

Parents Working Together

If the relationship between you and your child’s other parent is friendly, you can work out a joint custody agreement among yourselves. However, to make the custody agreement legally enforceable, it must be approved by a judge. If you want to skip hiring a lawyer, you must be willing to do some of the legwork with the court on your own.

Filing For Joint Custody

You will need to go to the Clerk of Courts to obtain and file the appropriate paperwork, you will need to write and turn in a thorough parenting plan to the court, and you will have to attend any custody hearings requested by the judge. Some states may require a background check be done on both parents before a custody agreement can be finalized.

Your Options Outside of Court

Even if the relationship between you and your child’s other parent is not friendly, it is still possible to work out a custody agreement without a lawyer. Mediation or arbitration are two avenues to help parents work out their differences and settle on a custody agreement that is in the best interests of the child.

Co-Parenting Is Always Best

Remember, most family court systems prefer co-parenting. Decades of research shows that the method of co-parenting is in the child’s best interests because they have the benefit of continuing a relationship with and spending time with both parents.

What is a declaration letter for child custody?

A declaration letter for child custody is a statement, on your behalf, presenting your evidence and insights regarding your child custody case. This may be reviewed by the judge, your child’s guardian ad litem, and anyone else who can influence the outcome of your case.

How to write a letter to an ex?

Essential Declaration Letter Tips 1 Write clearly, and use your own words. Judges don’t expect you to be well-versed in legal terms. 2 Use bulleted lists for your major points. 3 Don’t insult or bash your ex. Do make your concerns known objectively. 4 Attach evidence such as pay stubs or bank statements, but redact SSN and account numbers. Do not disclose sensitive information in a letter. 5 Affirm that you are making your statement under oath, and under penalty of perjury. 6 Make reasonable demands. 7 Remember that judges appreciate brevity. 8 Ask a professional attorney to review and edit your declaration letter before you post it.

What is a declaration letter?

A declaration letter for child custody is a statement, on your behalf, presenting your evidence and insights regarding your child custody case.

What is the importance of a letter?

It’s very important that the letter you submit is well-organized, and that it contains all of the information needed to make a decision. Here is a sample outline you can use as a reference for writing your own letter.

Why do you need a custody letter?

Also, a couple may choose to write a custody letter if their going through a divorce or perhaps to resolve a custody problem outside of court. Usually, this is done to avoid paying an attorney to draw up the letter. In general, this kind of letter serves as an actual legal document that will give the specified individual temporary custody ...

Why is a temporary custody letter important?

They're frequently used when a parent needs to travel abroad or out of state regarding business and therefore the child must stay with a friend or relative for a certain amount of time. Importance of a Temporary Custody Letter. The overall significance of these kinds of letters is to enable the father or mother to ensure ...

Why do parents give up guardianship?

Usually, this is because of either an emergency or planned absence.

What does a temporary guardian letter need to state?

Also, the letter needs to clearly state the details surrounding what the temporary guardian is allowed to do and what they're not allowed to do . Usually, if a relative or friend is in charge of the child, ironing out the details is a fairly straightforward process. But, in order to legally protect the parents, the document needs to have ...

What is a temporary custody letter?

A temporary custody letter is a written document that a couple or individual writes in order to grant temporary custody of their child to a relative or friend if they intend to be away for an extended period of time. ​. Also, a couple may choose to write a custody letter if their going through a divorce ...

Do you need a copy of a letter to a child's doctor?

In fact, it's a good idea to provide a copy of the letter to the child's physician to let them know about the situation. Most importantly, sign the letter with your legal name. For extra protection, get the letter notarized by an official public notary, although it's not actually required.

What's a declaration letter?

A declaration letter is a statement of facts that a parent writes as part of a disputed child custody case. It's formal testimony that a judge considers when evaluating a parent's legal and physical custody requests.

When you may need to write a declaration letter

Ideally, parents should work together to create their parenting plan, parenting time schedule and child support agreement.

How to format a declaration letter

Your local court — and possibly your judge — will have specific formatting rules for declaration letters and other statements submitted to the court. Your court may prefer that you use standard business letter format, or it may want you to use legal document formatting.

Downloadable template and sample letter to a judge

Below, find a fill-in-the-blank template, as well a detailed example of a declaration letter. Keep in mind that court requirements and preferences vary.

Other tips for writing a declaration letter

In addition to proving why your custody arrangement is best for your child, your letter should demonstrate to the judge that you're a responsible and competent co-parent. To do this, keep these additional tips in mind:

The tools you need for custody court

The Custody X Change app has many co-parenting features and tools to organize evidence and help you win child custody.

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