how do you stop a lawyer from drowning

How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water. A serial killer was killing his female victims by drowning them in pancake mix, then dipping them in hot oil.

Full Answer

What is a good sentence for drowning?

You know how to stop a lawyer from drowning? Start arguing with them about some random topic before they sink below the water. The lawyers that I've met personally are not really that much worse than most people that I've met. But get them hooked in a dumb argument, and they just do not give up, no way.

How does an attorney sleep?

Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water.

Are drowning asphyxiation jokes and puns appropriate?

Nov 22, 2004 · Lawyers will, no matter what, be very loyal to you, to a point. They will also support you, for a while. But, finally and inevitably, lawyers will, to save a nickel per contact lens or because of some perceived slight, such as asking for payment, leave your office. They wont be gone long. They will return, with new, creative demands.

How long does a bad lawyer let a case drag on?

The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened. Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I, therefore, put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not ...

What did Satan offer to an attorney?

An attorney was working late one night in his office when, suddenly, Satan appeared before him. The Devil made him an offer. “I will make it so you win every case that you try for the rest of your life. Your clients will worship you, your colleagues will be in awe, and you will make enormous amounts of money. But, in return, you must give me your soul, your wife’s soul, the souls of your children, your parents, grandparents, and those of all the your friends.” The lawyer thought about it for a moment, then asked, “But what’s the catch?”

What does the Hindu say about sleeping in the barn?

The Hindu says, “I’m humble, I’ll sleep in the barn.”.

How far does a Republican see a man drowning?

A Republican sees a man drowning 50 feet from the pier. He throws the man a 25 foot rope, and expects him to swim half way.#N#A Democrat sees a man drowning 50 feet from the pier. He throws him a 100 foot rope. Then lets of of his end.

What vests protect you from drowning?

Life vests protect you from drowning.#N#Bullet proof vests protect you from getting shot.#N#Reflective vests protect you from getting hit when you are near a road.#N#And sweater vests protect you from women.

Why did the blonde have to go save the blonde?

They had to do the breast stroke. The brunette finished first, followed closely by the redhead. They had to go save the blonde because she seemed to be drowning. When the blonde was able to speak she yelled, "you cheated! You guys used your arms!". Your wife and your lawyer are drowning.

What is a high visibility safety vest?

There's High Visibility Safety Vests - designed to protect a person from getting hit while near traffic. There's Leather Vests - designed to protect a person from road rash when laying down their motorcycle. And there's Sweater Vests - designed to protect a person from women.

What does the fortune teller say in a dramatic tone?

After looking into his hand and into the crystal ball, the fortune teller says in a dramatic tone:#N#You sir, will be responsible for the death of millions#N#Shocked and taken aback, the man goes back to his home. Along the way, he passes near a river and sees a small boy drowning helplessly .#N#Well, if millions of people are going to die because of me, I might at least save one life.#N#He jumps into the river and pulls the boy out. The shocked mother comes in tears and says:#N#Oh my dear god, thank you so much Mr., you are a saint. Adolf, you should thank this gentleman yourself.