ex has lawyer for divorce proceedings but is upset when i obtain one

by Carmela McLaughlin 6 min read

Why doesn’t my Ex have a divorce lawyer?

 · Divorce attorneys can’t represent both spouses in a divorce. If your spouse asks you to split the legal bill, don’t do it. An attorney hired by your spouse can’t serve your interests too. Under limited circumstances, a couple can use one attorney to resolve their divorce. Specifically, couples who’ve already resolved their asset, debt ...

Is your divorce lawyer qualified to handle your case?

 · When the amount owed is unpaid child support, you can also seek suspension of your ex-spouse’s driver’s license and have his or her tax refunds diverted to you. When your ex is not complying with other financial aspects of your divorce decree, you can seek court relief, but not contempt. You can obtain a Judgment against your ex and then ...

How to deal with an angry ex during the divorce process?

 · An attorney who lies to opposing counsel or a judge won’t hesitate to lie to you. 10. Overly Aggressive. There’s a difference between an assertive, take-charge attorney and one who bulldozes their way through your divorce. Your lawyer should be your zealous advocate, but shouldn’t cause unnecessary contention in your case. 11. Too Detached

How stressful is it to get a divorce with a lawyer?

 · Your ex cannot talk to your attorney for advice. Your lawyer and your ex can pass on information to each other, because your ex has no one to speak on his or her behalf, but that’s the legal extent of their communication with each other. (Ordinarily, that type of communication would only happen between attorneys.)


Why moving out is the biggest mistake in a divorce?

You Can Damage Your Child Custody Claim One of the most significant ways moving out can influence your divorce is when it comes to child custody. If you move out, it means you don't spend as much time with your kids. Not only can this harm your relationship, but it can also damage your custody claim.

How do men feel when wife files for divorce?

Men may feel panic, depression, intense anxiety or anger or any combination of these emotions. During this difficult period men can offer suffer more than women because they are less likely to reveal their distress to others. They may turn from support when they need it the most out of an attempt to appear in control.

What if one person wants a divorce but not the other?

The court needs to agree to grant the divorce, not the other person in the marriage. As long as the necessary financial and legal issues get resolved, the divorce can be completed with one person never agreeing to it. However, the negotiation of these issues does offer a potential block to completing the divorce.

Can you date while going through a divorce?

Can I Date While Going Through a Divorce?: The Answer. There is no legal reason why a person cannot start dating before their divorce is final.

Who regrets divorce more?

menThe recent Annual Relationship, Marriage, and Divorce Survey conducted by Avvo online marketplace for legal services found that men are more likely to regret breaking up than women. Of the 254 divorced women surveyed, only 27% said they regretted their divorce.

Who suffers the most in a divorce?

menBoth ex-spouses take a loss, but typically, men suffer a larger hit to their standard of living than women — between 10 and 40% — due to alimony and child support responsibilities, the need for a separate place to live, an extra set of household furniture and other expenses.

Can you refuse to divorce someone?

Can my spouse refuse to divorce me ? In a nutshell, no, your spouse cannot prevent a divorce proceeding. If they refuse to cooperate, it will be necessary for you take some additional steps, such as using a court bailiff or a process server.

Can my husband divorce me without me knowing?

Now, though, it's possible to file for divorce even when you don't know where your spouse is. The only catch is that you can't get a divorce without at least attempting to formally notify your spouse about the proceedings.

What to do when you don't want a divorce?

10 Tips for spouses who don't want the divorcePut on a brave face showing you can confidently move forward.Answer questions and concerns that your partner might have.Don't become emotional.Respect the situation, the person, and yourself.Don't participate in arguing.Seek guidance.Allow some space.It's wise to stay busy.More items...•

How long does it take a man to get over a divorce?

Most psychologists and therapists' general rule of thumb is one year of healing and recovery for every five to seven years of marriage. However, if you wanted the divorce, were unhappy with your marriage, or the divorce decision was mutual, it may not take quite as long.

Can having a girlfriend affect my divorce?

To answer the question simply, yes, having a girlfriend can negatively impact the outcome of divorce proceedings. There are literally thousands of scenarios of this question and each could individually impact the proceedings very differently.

Does the first relationship after divorce last?

The researcher interviewed 264 people in their post-breakup period. Her first relationship after divorce statistics showed that 93% of those were involved in a new relationship. On average, they lasted for 2 months. The maximum amount of time that elapsed between their former and new partners was 0-13 months.

What is the difference between assertive and take charge divorce lawyers?

11. Too Detached. You don’t want a lawyer who becomes too emotional or weepy in court.

What happens if your lawyer doesn't understand your law?

If your lawyer doesn’t understand local laws or procedures, your case may end up taking much longer than necessary, or even worse, being dismissed because your attorney failed to meet essential requirements.

What does it mean when a lawyer doesn't respond to messages?

A lawyer who doesn't respond to numerous messages probably isn't giving your case the attention it deserves. 6. Unfamiliarly with the Divorce Process. Many attorneys focus on one or two practice areas, such as family law or criminal law.

What happens if your attorney forgets your 4th child?

Although you shouldn’t worry if your attorney forgets the name of your fourth child, there's a major problem if your lawyer doesn’t know anything about your case . Your attorney should remember the basics about your divorce.

What happens if you miss a court date?

Missing a court deadline could result in disastrous consequences for your divorce and may even amount to malpractice. 2. Perpetually Late. It’s a bad sign if your attorney is always running late, especially if it’s to an important meeting or a court hearing.

What is a lawyer's dishonesty?

A lawyer’s dishonesty is a serious red flag. An attorney who lies to opposing counsel or a judge won’t hesitate to lie to you.

Is it okay to ask your attorney to check your case notes?

It’s okay if your attorney needs to check the docket or case notes to verify certain items. However, your lawyer should be able to tell you what’s happening in your divorce when you ask. 5. Unreturned Phone Calls. It's usually a bad sign if your attorney consistently fails to return your calls within a reasonable time.

What happens when you go to court?

When you go to court, your lawyer will generally do most of the talking on your behalf. Unless the judge asks you a direct question, you probably won’t say much at all. However, your ex will be expected to speak for him- or herself.

Can my ex talk to my attorney?

Your ex cannot talk to your attorney for advice. Your lawyer and your ex can pass on information to each other, because your ex has no one to speak on his or her behalf, but that’s the legal extent of their communication with each other.

Is self representation necessary in divorce?

The Downside of Self-Representation During Divorce. While divorce seems like a straightforward process, that’s not always the case. In fact, there usually are back-and-forth documents that often need to be filed with the appropriate clerks within certain timeframes.

Can a divorce lawyer give advice?

There are many websites that provide general information about divorce, but they can’t replace the case-specific advice that only an attorney can give . Well-meaning friends and family might be able to provide personal anecdotes about their own child custody , property division and other divorce experiences, but every case has its own nuances; what works for one person won’t work for another, even if the situation is similar.

What are some secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you?

Below are twenty secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you. 1. It's going to cost more than you bargained for. It's not always the case—but more often than not, the costs associated with your divorce will often be higher than your lawyer's original estimate.

What happens if my spouse meets with an attorney?

If your spouse meets with an attorney first, it could create a conflict of interest that would not allow them to represent you. (Incidentally, this was a tactic that Tony used when mulling over divorce with Carmella in The Sopranos .) Secondly, attending several consultations can help you better understand the process, your rights, and help you to manage your expectations. Thirdly, meeting with several attorneys enables you to weed out the ones who aren't a great fit.

How do divorce lawyers save money?

That you'll save money and heartache by being organized. Divorce lawyers often charge by the hour. If you take responsibility for being as organized as possible, not only are you likely to walk away from your marriage with a more acceptable outcome, you'll probably save some money too.

How to deal with divorce issues?

While it may seem difficult, coming to an agreement with your spouse can alleviate a lot of the issues of divorce and it could also save a lot of ugliness down the line. If you have kids and common friends, it's likely that you and your spouse may be in each other's lives for years, even decades to come. Those interactions aren't going to be made easier if one or both of you hired some hard-nosed lawyers and caused each other pain. If you can work it out, you and your spouse can each part ways without feeling taken advantage of by the other.

What is mediation in divorce?

Mediation is a process whereby you and your spouse sit down with a neutral third party to negotiate several important areas of divorce. It's a low-cost way to address practically any other disagreement you and your spouse may have. While the mediator's decision is not binding, it allows a neutral party to provide their perspective on how divorce related issues should be addressed. However, mediation can only be a useful tool if you and your spouse can come to an broad agreement.

What does it mean to be uncontested in divorce?

An uncontested divorce means that you and your spouse agree child custody, spousal support, child support, visitation, and division of property. If you find that there is no need to fight over these things, you've already saved yourself thousands of dollars.

What is fault based divorce?

Fault-based divorce is when one spouse committed an act that gives legal justification to the ending of the marriage. These acts include adultery, a felony conviction, cruelty, or desertion.

What does a divorce attorney request?

During the discovery process, your divorce attorney will request documents from your spouse related to income and assets. A spouse can stall the process by refusing to respond to such requests. Or, he may send a barrage of requests to your via his attorney attempting to bog you down in paperwork.

What is the motivation of an angry ex husband?

An angry ex-husband is just as likely to make false accusations of abuse against the mother of his children. The difference between the motivation when it comes to men is, normally, to frighten a mother and manipulate her into doing something he wants. Don’t fall for the manipulation!

How to protect yourself from a spouse who will use the courts to abuse you?

To protect yourself from a spouse who will use the courts to abuse you hire an attorney who will not hesitate to use the Family Court System to force a response when he uses such tactics.

How long has Welp been divorced?

Welp, it’s been 16 long years and he is still angry. His anger caused the divorce process to drag on for 7 years. It’s caused him to break off contact with his children only to pop into their lives every 6 years or so and drop bombs on them. The only time our 2 children and I know peace is when he has disappeared from our lives.

How to get a restraining order against a husband?

Getting a restraining order against a husband is a practice some women use against men in order to gain sole legal custody or have the husband removed from the marital home. Guard against this happening by refusing to engage in any form of conflict in person, via email or over the phone.

Is divorce a never ending story?

For some of us, the negative repercussions of divorce is a never ending story. I can count on him to pop up and drop a bomb on us and I’ve learned to count on myself to keep a tight grip on the negative emotions it causes us and how we respond to the problems he causes.

Do divorces work?

Most going through the divorce process work at making sure it is not riddled with conflict. In doing so they can make the mistake of believing that their spouse will stand by any verbal agreements made between the two. I always suggest there be a legal document drawn up and signed by both spouses and their attorneys, just to cover yourself.

Why do divorce attorneys work hard?

Divorce attorneys work hard to achieve favorable and fair results for their clients. Good clients appreciate the effort, even if things don't always work out the way they hoped. Many clients are never happy, win or lose, and are not afraid to let their attorney know it.

Why do I get divorced?

If I had to bet, I would say that one of the reasons you are getting divorced, or already divorced is because of conflicts with your spouse over parenting. It's very common and one of the more stressful phases of a divorce.

How to handle a high bill with your spouse?

Try to handle little disputes with your spouse on your own. Then, if you can't resolve it, think about how bad it really is and whether it's worth it to involve your attorney. Good attorneys will tell their clients that something is not worth the cost of their time to fight it. In the end, it's the client's decision, but again...don't complain when you get a high bill.

Why can't an attorney continue to represent you?

4. He can't continue to represent you because you are not paying his bills. Attorneys are not free. They get paid for provide you with their time, knowledge and services. Now, it's often the case in a divorce that money is tight and most attorneys are sensitive to this, but they have to pay their bills too and can't work for free.

What should an attorney tell you?

Here are five things your attorney really wants to tell you, but doesn't because he wants to maintain the relationship and keep you as a client. You're better off knowing this though because it will influence your relationship with your lawyer and the value he/she provides to you. Advertisement. 1. You call too often.

What happens when you retain a lawyer?

When you retain a lawyer, whether for a divorce or another issue, the lawyer is ethically charged with holding what you say to him/her as confidential.

Do attorneys charge hourly?

Most attorneys charge on an hourly basis, which is stated in your retainer agreement. Clients pay for an attorney's time. Your attorney is not your therapist, although I play one on t.v. I always tell clients I will talk to you as long as you want, but don't be surprised when you get the bill.

What happens if you don't respond to a divorce petition?

Your spouse’s failure to respond will be treated as an agreement to your terms. You’ll have to prove to the court that you provided your spouse with proper notice of the divorce.

How to speed up divorce?

For some couples, divorce is often a long and painful process. But it doesn’t have to be. Your divorce can move forward amicably and at a reasonable pace. Even spouses who drag their feet in a divorce don’t necessarily control the process. You and your attorney can discuss ways to get your divorce going ...

How long does it take for a divorce to be uncontested?

However, in most cases one spouse files and serves a divorce complaint and the other spouse has 20 or so days to file a response.

Do divorces take time?

Couples with more complicated assets and custody issues usually have longer and more expensive divorces. Some aspects of a divorce simply take time. For example, in many states there’s a mandatory waiting period in a contested divorce.

Can my spouse delay my divorce?

If you filed for divorce, your spouse may want to delay your divorce to see if you can patch things up. A spouse can continually ask for court extensions or may refuse to respond to your filings. However, your spouse’s failure to file a response to the divorce petition can actually work in your favor. After you’ve served your spouse with a divorce complaint and the response deadline has passed, you can seek a default judgment.

What is ACP in divorce?

by April Putnam, ACP. It is a scenario that plays out over and over again in divorce courts everywhere. You took care of the home during your marriage while your spouse made the money. When it became clear you were heading for divorce, you discussed your case with a lawyer, who told you that you had a “classic” alimony case.

How to get information from your spouse's former employer?

Your attorney can get this information by sending a simple subpoena to your spouses’ former employer requesting his file.

What to do if my spouse refuses to sign a medical release?

Simply, you will ask your spouse to sign a document allowing your attorney to pull any and all medical records related to his or her ability to work. And if your spouse refuses to sign this document, your attorney can ask the Judge to force the signing of the release. A common tactic to increase leverage is for a spouse to feign ill health and ...

What to do when you have gathered your spouse's employment and health records?

Now that you have gathered your spouse’s’ employment and health records, you need to show the Court the jobs in the community and earning potential available to your spouse. And while you can certainly gather this evidence yourself, when possible you should hire a vocational expert in your community to prepare an occupation report.

Can your spouse defend your expert report?

These expert reports can be very difficult for your spouse to defend.

Can my spouse file a 4056-T?

Preferably, your spouse will simply comply and turn over a copy of the requested returns. If your spouse is being difficult however then it will be easier to have the Court force the Husband to execute an IRS Form 4056-T and go directly to the IRS to pull the statement.

How to set a new trial date in Oklahoma?

In Oklahoma, I would request a hearing or status conference for the Court to set a new trial date. Oklahoma has specific processes that must occur before a trial date is set to ensure both parties are ready for trial on the trial date. At the status conference I would ask the Court to order your wife to be present and ready for trial at that time or a default judgment may be taken against her. Then I would prepare for trial expecting to try the case on that date. If she appeared for trial and was not prepared, I would ask the Court to take a default judgment against her and grant the divorce.

Can the courts be lenient in cases where you are not represented by an attorney?

The Courts are also more inclined to be lenient in cases where one or both of you are not represented by an attorney. As I am not familiar with the California specific options available to move your case forward I would recommend consulting an area attorney as to what can be done.