when the other guy on the phone is a divorce lawyer

by Barton McLaughlin 5 min read

Is your divorce lawyer qualified to handle your case?

A lawyer who doesn’t understand the basics of a divorce or who can’t explain the court process probably isn’t qualified to handle your case. You may want to get a second opinion from another divorce attorney, who can review your lawyer's work and let you know if there's a problem.

What are some secrets your divorce lawyer won't tell you?

Here are seven secrets your divorce lawyer won't tell you (but should). 1. You Might Not Get Your Day in Court... A divorce is a lawsuit, and we usually think of lawsuits as ending in a trial.

When should I contact my divorce lawyer about my case status?

Your attorney should know your case status at any given time. It’s okay if your attorney needs to check the docket or case notes to verify certain items. However, your lawyer should be able to tell you what’s happening in your divorce when you ask. 5. Unreturned Phone Calls

Should I hire an aggressive divorce lawyer?

Remember the first secret above: most divorce cases don't go to trial. An aggressive attorney can actually get in the way of a productive settlement, extending the case and billing more hours by stirring up hostility and "churning" the file. At worst, an aggressive attorney can force you into an expensive trial you didn't need.

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Can Imessages be subpoenaed for divorce?

This is not a common occurrence, so, in short, the answer is, yes, text messages can be subpoenaed, but, no, they are not frequently used as evidence for the reasons above. Text messages can fall into the murky area of 'hearsay evidence,' which is inadmissible in court.

Can I date someone during a divorce?

We always recommend waiting for a least a year following your divorce before you begin dating again to give yourself time to adjust to your new normal and to focus on yourself. Then, we recommend waiting at least two years before committing to a serious relationship.

Can married lawyers go against each other?

Under the ABA Model Rules of Professional Conduct, attorneys can't represent clients if they have a marital or familial relationship with opposing counsel unless they get informed consent in writing from their client.

Can a spouse get your phone records?

As part of the discovery process, your attorney can subpoena your spouse's cell phone records. A subpoena is a formal legal order for a party to allow access to information or evidence in a legal case. These records can be subpoenaed directly from the phone company.

Is sleeping with someone while separated adultery?

If you're in a marital relationship with someone and dating someone else, that is not adultery. The independence of dating during the period of separation is provided. The adulterous part comes when you have separated yourself from your spouse for this sole reason.

Is it OK to date someone who is separated but not divorced?

In many states, you can receive legal separation by filing a request in a family court. But the document is not equivalent to a divorce. When you are dating while legally separated, it does not mean that you are divorced from your partner and can marry someone that you are dating.

Do opposing lawyers talk to each other?

Ultimately, it isn't uncommon for attorneys in the community to have a friendly relationship. Don't be afraid if you even see the attorneys partake in some light banter back and forth.

How do you play dirty in a divorce?

Top 10 Dirtiest Divorce TricksServing Papers with the Intent to Embarrass. You're angry with your spouse, and you want to humiliate him or her. ... Taking Everything. ... Canceling Credit Cards. ... Clearing Our Your Bank Accounts. ... Starving Out the Other Spouse. ... Refusing to Cooperate. ... Jeopardizing Employment. ... Meddling in an Affair.More items...•

Why would a lawyer have a conflict of interest?

[8] Even where there is no direct adverseness, a conflict of interest exists if there is a significant risk that a lawyer's ability to consider, recommend or carry out an appropriate course of action for the client will be materially limited as a result of the lawyer's other responsibilities or interests.

Can text messages be used in court to prove adultery?

You may hear about an affair through gossip or your circle of friends, but this is not enough for the court. Our clients sometimes ask if things like text messages or online messaging count as proof – and often, the answer is yes.

Can phone calls prove adultery in court?

Adultery has to be proved beyond doubt in the court which lacks in the given situation. Call records can be obtained from the service provider. Simply talking to another male person does not amount to adultery. You have alleged that she has illicit relationship with somebody.

What should you not text during a divorce?

1. DO NOT text obscenity, profanities or anything that sounds threatening, stupid, crazy, mean or otherwise completely unnecessary other than making you feel so much better for telling them how you feel. 2. DO NOT post text or otherwise subject your children to your rant or other “rub it in his face” gestures.

What do you do when your spouse is a lawyer?

communicating with your spouse’s attorney (or directly with your self-represented spouse) and anyone else involved in the case. reviewing documents and performing research. discovery (such as requesting documents or other information and conducting depositions) drafting settlement agreements.

Why does divorce take so long?

There are several reasons divorces can take a long time, including the number and type of contested issues, combative spouses (or attorneys), the amount of time needed to gather evidence about things like complex finances or custody issues, and whether you go to trial.

How long does it take for an attorney to bill you?

Attorneys generally bill you (usually increments of six to 15 minutes ) for everything they do in connection with your case, including: every communication you have with them (whether by phone, text, or email), from quick status phone calls to dealing with your email about who gets the Instapot.

Do divorce attorneys charge by the hour?

Divorce attorneys almost always charge by the hour, rather than a flat fee, because every divorce case is unique. Even if your situation looks similar on the surface to another couple’s (a two-income household with two kids and a home owned together), it doesn’t mean your case will turn out the same way.

Can an attorney predict how much work will take?

Because of this, attorneys can’t predict how much work your case will take. However, our survey results on total costs (discussed below) can give you a general idea of what other people paid their lawyers overall, and how certain factors affected those fees.

Can a divorce judge order a spouse to pay for attorney fees?

Sharing Legal Fees in Divorces. In most states, family law judges may order one spouse to pay for part of the other spouse’s attorneys’ fees, especially when there’s a big difference in their incomes and one spouse needs the help in order to have an equal playing field.

What are some secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you?

Below are twenty secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you. 1. It's going to cost more than you bargained for. It's not always the case—but more often than not, the costs associated with your divorce will often be higher than your lawyer's original estimate.

How to choose a divorce attorney?

There are several things to look for when choosing a divorce attorney. You want to choose someone who is experienced, respected, competent, and affordable. If they are proving to not be a good fit though, change them. Because you can, even if the reason is that you don't get on with him or her. Bear in mind however that if an attorney has worked on your case, you'll have to pay her/him for their time. Also, it might damage your case to change attorney's when you are close to a court ordered deadline, so only do it after careful consideration.

How do divorce lawyers save money?

That you'll save money and heartache by being organized. Divorce lawyers often charge by the hour. If you take responsibility for being as organized as possible, not only are you likely to walk away from your marriage with a more acceptable outcome, you'll probably save some money too.

What is mediation in divorce?

Mediation is a process whereby you and your spouse sit down with a neutral third party to negotiate several important areas of divorce. It's a low-cost way to address practically any other disagreement you and your spouse may have. While the mediator's decision is not binding, it allows a neutral party to provide their perspective on how divorce related issues should be addressed. However, mediation can only be a useful tool if you and your spouse can come to an broad agreement.

What does it mean to be uncontested in divorce?

An uncontested divorce means that you and your spouse agree child custody, spousal support, child support, visitation, and division of property. If you find that there is no need to fight over these things, you've already saved yourself thousands of dollars.

What is fault based divorce?

Fault-based divorce is when one spouse committed an act that gives legal justification to the ending of the marriage. These acts include adultery, a felony conviction, cruelty, or desertion.

How to start a divorce?

One of the best and simplest ways to do that is to start a divorce file. In this file, keep every bit of paper that could have an effect on how your divorce proceedings. Gather copies of all important financial documents and access to all account information. Keep it organized and easy to navigate.

What does it mean when a lawyer doesn't respond to messages?

A lawyer who doesn't respond to numerous messages probably isn't giving your case the attention it deserves. 6. Unfamiliarly with the Divorce Process. Many attorneys focus on one or two practice areas, such as family law or criminal law.

What happens if your lawyer doesn't understand your law?

If your lawyer doesn’t understand local laws or procedures, your case may end up taking much longer than necessary, or even worse, being dismissed because your attorney failed to meet essential requirements.

What is the difference between assertive and take charge divorce lawyers?

11. Too Detached. You don’t want a lawyer who becomes too emotional or weepy in court.

What happens if your attorney forgets your 4th child?

Although you shouldn’t worry if your attorney forgets the name of your fourth child, there's a major problem if your lawyer doesn’t know anything about your case . Your attorney should remember the basics about your divorce.

What happens if you miss a court date?

Missing a court deadline could result in disastrous consequences for your divorce and may even amount to malpractice. 2. Perpetually Late. It’s a bad sign if your attorney is always running late, especially if it’s to an important meeting or a court hearing.

Is it okay to ask your attorney to check your case notes?

It’s okay if your attorney needs to check the docket or case notes to verify certain items. However, your lawyer should be able to tell you what’s happening in your divorce when you ask. 5. Unreturned Phone Calls. It's usually a bad sign if your attorney consistently fails to return your calls within a reasonable time.

Can an attorney file documents on time?

There is simply no excuse for an attorney who can’t file documents on time or one who misses important hearings in your case. Missing a court deadline could result in disastrous consequences for your divorce and may even amount to malpractice.

Why can't my lawyer say when things will happen?

Maybe your lawyer can't say when things will happen because too much depends on what the other side wants; still, she should have a general idea of how the case will proceed from your side given any number of scenarios. One matrimonial lawyer tells us that clients often seek her out for a second opinion on their case.

How long does it take for a lawyer to call you back?

If the court hands down any decisions regarding your case, your lawyer should notify you at once. Your attorney should return your calls within 24 hours unless there's some reason why that's impossible—for instance, if she's in court or in the middle of a trial.

How long does it take for a lawyer to respond to a letter?

Copies of letters should be sent to you within 24 hours of the lawyer's receipt. He or she should notify you about important phone calls—those concerning settlement proposals, for instance—as soon as possible.

What should an attorney tell you about a case?

Throughout your case, your attorney should give you some sense of whether the law supports your position. No attorney worth her weight will guarantee you a victory, but a knowledgeable lawyer should be able to tell you whether there is a basis for your position and what is likely to happen if the case is tried.

Do you need an expert to testify in custody?

Maybe custody will be an issue, and you'll need an expert to testify on your behalf. In some jurisdictions, the judge will appoint an expert to report to the court, but you still might need someone to support your case. Your lawyer should start getting you the names of qualified people.

Do matrimonial lawyers seek second opinions?

One matrimonial lawyer tells us that clients often seek her out for a second opinion on their case. The most frequent complaint: their case has no direction, they see no end in sight, and it seems like they're always responding to their spouse's action with no overriding plan of their own.

What should a divorce lawyer not tell you?

Here are seven secrets your divorce lawyer won't tell you (but should). 1. You Might Not Get Your Day in Court... A divorce is a lawsuit, and we usually think of lawsuits as ending in a trial. However, many, if not most lawsuits end in a settlement. This is especially true of divorce, where upwards of 90% of cases settle—and some reports place ...

What do you need to do if you are divorced in California?

One thing you can do is gather financial documents your attorney will need in your case. In almost every California divorce, property division is an issue, and if you have children, child support will be an issue, as well as possibly spousal support.

Do aggressive divorce attorneys go to trial?

Remember the first secret above: most divorce cases don't go to trial. An aggressive attorney can actually get in the way of a productive settlement, extending the case and billing more hours by stirring up hostility and "churning" the file.

Can an aggressive lawyer force you into a trial?

At worst, an aggressive attorney can force you into an expensive trial you didn't need. Most of the time extended conflict enriches the lawyers, not their clients. What's more, when your case is done, your lawyer doesn't have to deal with the ongoing hostility he or she has helped to stoke between you and your ex—but you will.

Do divorce cases go to trial?

Remember the first secret above: most divorce cases don't go to trial. An aggressive attorney can actually get in the way of a productive settlement, extending the case and billing more hours by stirring up hostility and "churning" the file.

Is divorce expensive?

Even if you do everything possible to keep your legal bill down, there are no two ways around it: divorce is expensive. Your attorney probably won't be able to tell you exactly how expensive, because that will depend on how your case unfolds.

Can attorney fees be expensive?

Yes, attorney fees can be costly, and add up quickly. But your attorney may not tell you what you can do to keep them down unless you ask. You should ask, because there are some simple things you can do to reduce your attorney's workload, and more importantly, save yourself some money.

What to do in a contentious divorce?

In more contentious divorces, an attorney can make sure that your interests are represented in court. Even in a “friendly” divorce you are often better off hiring a lawyer to help file paperwork and guide you through the court system. 2. Don’t neglect your finances.

How to prepare for divorce?

If you’re thinking about divorce, you need to immediately begin to set aside money for the all the expenses involved. Make copies of all your financial documents and legal records before your divorce proceedings begin.

What to do when a divorced couple has a large amount of assets?

Don’t forget to consult an attorney. A lawyer can make sure that you both review and understand anything before you sign or agree. An experienced family law attorney is often a good idea for situations where the divorcing couple has a large amount of assets, property or other complicated financial matters.

Is it normal to want to tell someone about divorce?

Emotions are running high, it’s perfectly normal to want to let others know what’s going on in your life. You may desperately want support, you may not want to suffer in silence, or you may just want to punish your partner and embarrass them. This doesn’t mean that you have to keep your a divorce secret from everyone, you just need to decide who you tell and why.

Do family and friends have good intentions when divorced?

Your family and friends may have good intentions, but their divorce experience is based on the facts and circumstances that are unique to them and may not apply in your situation.

Can you use your kids to manipulate your spouse?

This should go without saying, but unfortunately, it still happens, even unintentionally. Check your own behavior and don’t use your kids to punish or manipulate your spouse. In the end, this will cause resentment and have a negative impact on the relationship you have with your children.

Can you have a relationship outside of marriage during divorce?

Even if you and your spouse no longer live together, in some states a relationship outside of marriage can become an issue during the divorce process. With all of the changes going on in your life, avoiding any type of romantic relationship is often the best thing to do for your emotionally. 8.

How to get a good lawyer to take your case?

“If you want to improve your chances of securing the best lawyer to take your case, you need to prepare before you meet them,” advises attorney Stephen Babcock. “Get your story, facts, and proof together well before your first meeting.” This not only ensures that you understand your own needs, but it helps a good lawyer to ascertain whether he or she can actually help you. “We want the best clients too. Proving you’re organized and reliable helps us.”

Why is it important to approach a lawyer with honesty?

“ Winning cases can be lost because of a client who lies or exaggerates just as easily as because of a lawyer who tells the client what the client wants to hear instead of what is true.” So when dealing with attorneys, don’t just look for honesty—be honest.

Do you need a lawyer to write a demand letter?

On reading a demand letter, the other person will often say, “this isn’t worth the trouble” and they quickly settle. But here’s a secret from Knight: You don’t need a lawyer to write a demand letter. You can do it yourself. Just make it look as formal as possible, and you may find your dispute goes away—no charge to you.

Can you appeal a disability denial?

If you feel helpless when faced with an insurance denial, please know that you might be able to appeal with the help of a qualified lawyer, says David Himelfarb, attorney. Insurance companies routinely deny long-term disability claims, for example, particularly because it’s assumed that most people don’t have access to reputable attorneys to challenge the denial. “This is where intricate knowledge of the legal and insurance process, as well as the right team of experts to prove the claim, can reverse the odds.”

Should a lawyer stay out of court?

In fact, a lawyer should try to stay out of court. “In my experience, a good lawyer always finds every opportunity to keep a case from being decided by a judge, and only relents on trying a case before the bench when all alternatives have been exhausted,” attorney, Jason Cruz says.

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