when getting an amicable divorce should you use the same lawyer?

by Mr. Percy Nicolas 7 min read

It’s important to know it’s not always necessary to go to court during an amicable divorce, nor does each party need to hire their own attorney. Many times, one lawyer can serve as mediator and/or counsel for both parties.

Even if your divorce is uncontested, meaning you and your spouse agree on all the important terms and conditions, you are still both technically on opposing sides of the courtroom. Any attorney that represents one of you will not be permitted to also represent the other because this would create a conflict of interest.

Full Answer

Is it possible to have an amicable divorce?

 · Neither of you needs an attorney to get divorced if you are willing to do the work yourselves. However, it is important to understand that if one of you hires an attorney to prepare the paperwork and get through court that the attorney only represents the person that hired them. They do not represent the other spouse.

What happens when two lawyers are involved in a divorce?

While an attorney may be able to review a proposal and advise you as to issues with the language at a minimum cost, absent a full discussion with your attorney of the specifics of your marriage, family, and finances, the attorney can not properly advise you as to your options as to the terms of the divorce. If the divorce is truly amicable and the issues uncomplicated, the cost of …

Can a divorce attorney help you and your spouse?

A divorce attorney can keep you focused. Even amicable divorces bring a certain amount of stress, especially when trying to juggle all your other daily responsibilities. And if an argument between you and your spouse does erupt, it’s easy to let emotions get in the way and suddenly lose focus of what your goals are for your case.

Do I need a lawyer for an uncontested divorce?

The steps laid out above apply equally to an amicable separation during divorce. The only difference is a court order is much easier to obtain because there is a pending divorce. Another factor to consider when a divorce is pending is the role two lawyers may play. It is best each spouse have his or her own attorney.

Can married lawyers go against each other?

When lawyers representing different clients are related by blood or marriage, they must disclose it to their clients and get consent to continue. So, in real life, Tracy and Hepburn's characters would have needed consent by everyone to oppose each other in court.

How do I prepare for an amicable divorce?

5 Keys to a Peaceful DivorceBe Prepared to Be Kind (to Yourself and Others) The first step to a peaceful divorce is to come to peace with yourself. ... Identify and Adhere To Your Goals. ... Consider Mediation over Litigation. ... Trust the Process. ... Get Professional Support. ... 4 responses to “5 Keys to a Peaceful Divorce”

Is it possible to have a peaceful divorce?

Most people think amicable divorces, meaning divorcing peacefully, are a myth. But they are possible - if you know what a good divorce looks like and what you must do to have one.

What does an amicable divorce look like?

An amicable divorce means a civil divorce, where both spouses agree to property division, spousal and child support, visitation and custody. It may not mean that the former spouses are friends when it's over. It does mean the spouses don't fight and enter an agreement reasonably, without litigation.

Who regrets divorce more?

menThe recent Annual Relationship, Marriage, and Divorce Survey conducted by Avvo online marketplace for legal services found that men are more likely to regret breaking up than women. Of the 254 divorced women surveyed, only 27% said they regretted their divorce.

How do narcissists peacefully divorce?

Divorcing a NarcissistDon't Even THINK That Your Divorce Will Be Amicable. ... Get a Strong, but Reasonable, Divorce Lawyer. ... Get a Therapist. ... Assemble Your Support Team BEFORE You Divorce. ... Get EVERYTHING in Writing! ... Stay Out of Court as Much as You Can. ... Find Ways Your Narcissistic Spouse Can “Win” ... Pick Your Battles Wisely.More items...

Are most divorces amicable?

In many cases, divorces end amicably. Both parties agree on certain terms, like custody of their minor children, splitting assets, alimony, etc. If that sounds familiar, you are lucky. Having an amicable separation makes things easier for both parties in the long run.

When divorce is the best option?

Other signs that divorce might be the best choice for you: Your spouse has shown a repeated pattern of abuse. Your spouse has alcohol or substance abuse issues and will not get help. Your spouse has repeatedly been unfaithful and shows no real interest in changing.

How do I live with my spouse during a divorce?

7 Ground Rules for Living Together While DivorcingCreate a new budget. ... Allocate responsibilities around the house. ... Don't sleep with your ex-spouse. ... Establish boundaries. ... Plan to live separately. ... Don't fight in front of your children. ... Don't use the kids as leverage. ... Tip 1.More items...•

How do I divorce my wife and keep everything?

If divorce is looming, here are six ways to protect yourself financially.Identify all of your assets and clarify what's yours. Identify your assets. ... Get copies of all your financial statements. Make copies. ... Secure some liquid assets. Go to the bank. ... Know your state's laws. ... Build a team. ... Decide what you want — and need.

How do I ask for divorce peacefully?

There's no single “right” answer when asking for a divorce, but with preparation, you can make a tough conversation go a little more smoothly:Prepare Yourself. ... Choose A Suitable Place and Time. ... Keep Your Cool for Your Kids. ... Be Gentle, But Firm. ... Listen to Their Perspective. ... Be Understanding and Empathetic.More items...•

How do I get a smooth divorce?

A Mom's Guide to a Healthy DivorceMake sure it's final. Is there still hope? ... Don't use the 'D' word lightly or as an ultimatum. ... Don't agonize over how divorce will affect your children. ... Be a team. ... Include the kids. ... Leave your feelings aside. ... Don't talk badly about your ex. ... Start your negotiations with the end in mind.More items...•

How do I ask for divorce peacefully?

There's no single “right” answer when asking for a divorce, but with preparation, you can make a tough conversation go a little more smoothly:Prepare Yourself. ... Choose A Suitable Place and Time. ... Keep Your Cool for Your Kids. ... Be Gentle, But Firm. ... Listen to Their Perspective. ... Be Understanding and Empathetic.More items...•

How do I get a smooth divorce?

A Mom's Guide to a Healthy DivorceMake sure it's final. Is there still hope? ... Don't use the 'D' word lightly or as an ultimatum. ... Don't agonize over how divorce will affect your children. ... Be a team. ... Include the kids. ... Leave your feelings aside. ... Don't talk badly about your ex. ... Start your negotiations with the end in mind.More items...•

How do you separate on good terms?

How to tell your partner you want a separation:Never talk about separation in the heat of an argument. ... Block out time to sit with your partner. ... Don't come from a place of anger and resentment. ... Use "I" statements to express your feelings and what you need.

What does uncontested divorce mean?

An uncontested divorce means that both spouses agree on all of their divorce-related issues. Each state has specific legal requirements that spouses must meet before they can proceed with an uncontested divorce.

What is an amicable divorce?

An amicable divorce means a divorce without litigation. Litigation involves spouses who disagree on the end result and are unable to reach a compromise. That litigation may involve some or all of the issues in the divorce. Litigation can end up in a California divorce trial.

What is litigation in divorce?

Litigation involves spouses who disagree on the end result and are unable to reach a compromise. That litigation may involve some or all of the issues in the divorce. Litigation can end up in a California divorce trial.

Can two spouses have disagreements?

Two spouses can have reasonable disagreements without being at each other's throats. Spouses who go on emotional tilts due to disagreements accomplish nothing in a divorce, other than anger themselves and frustrate their spouse. It is foolish, childish and inefficient.

Is child support tied to custody?

As another example, while child support is tied to custody (and spousal support is often tied to child support), none of them have to be tied to issues like division of retirements. 2. How to have an amicable divorce when you are not ready to be divorced. Your spouse wants a divorce. You do not.

Why does marriage fail?

But one common reason a marriage fails is lack of trust. And that lack of trust manifests itself both before and after separation. Fortunately, there is a way to have an amicable separation. It requires planning and preparation.

Does divorce have to be a war?

As you can see, divorce does not have to be a war. It does not have to have a financially and emotionally draining experience. Through truthful disclosures and sharing of information and documents, mutual cooperation and attempts at reasonable compromise, the great majority of divorces can resolve.

How to be a good parent?

Here are some tips: 1 Don't get caught up in percentages. It's about quality time, not quantity time. 2 Compromise. This is not about getting everything you want. If you are open minded about what is in the children's best interest, you will likely find there is no one perfect parenting plan. 3 Be sensitive to the children's needs. If they have agreed upon extracurricular activities or other needs, come up with a parenting plan that allows the children to attend them without unnecessary burden on them. 4 Be flexible with the other parent and build that flexibility into the schedule when it is consistent with the child's best interest. Sometimes, it is you who may need the flexibility. 5 Don't overcomplicate the parenting plan. In Orange County, we have the Orange County Parenting Guidelines which set forth different parenting schedules for different ages. These plans have been proven to work. 6 Use effective methods of communication like telephone, in person and, if it must be in writing, services like Talking Parents or Our Family Wizard. We believe they are superior to text messages or emails. 7 Change is inevitable. Embrace it when necessary. As children get older, their needs change and the parenting plan may also need to change.

Can a divorce lawyer represent both parties?

Under virtually every state’s rules of professional conduct, divorce lawyers cannot represent both parties in a divorce. The rules governing lawyer ethics prohibit attorneys from representing two clients with conflicting interests — and that includes divorcing spouses.

Can an attorney represent you in a divorce?

Because of your competing interests, an attorney can’t ethically represent you both in a divorce, no matter how agreeable the terms are to each side. Working with opposing parties in a lawsuit would create a "conflict of interest" for any divorce attorney. However, there is one circumstance where an attorney can help you ...

Can a lawyer represent two clients?

The rules governing lawyer ethics prohibit attorneys from representing two clients with conflicting interests — and that includes divorcing spouses. Even if you and your spouse agree on everything in your divorce, you’re still technically considered opposing parties in a lawsuit.

What is the best way to resolve divorce issues?

Couples who can resolve all of their divorce-related issues on their own or with a little help from a mediator may use an attorney-mediator to prepare their divorce agreement. Mediation allows couples to resolve their divorce without the time and expense of a trial. An attorney-mediator can ethically help both divorcing spouses reach an agreement ...

Can a divorce be resolved by mediation?

Couples who can resolve all of their divorce-related issues on their own or with a little help from a mediator may use an attorney-mediator to prepare their divorce agreement. Mediation allows couples to resolve their divorce without the time and expense of a trial.

What is mediation in divorce?

Mediation allows couples to resolve their divorce without the time and expense of a trial. An attorney-mediator can ethically help both divorcing spouses reach an agreement by acting as a neutral third party. A mediator’s role is limited to the following: helping spouses understand the law.

Can a mediator take sides?

Mediators cannot take sides or provide any legal advice, so the biggest drawback of attending mediation without your own attorney (at your side or behind the scenes) is that you may not know for sure whether your legal rights are fully protected.

Can an attorney represent you in a divorce?

Even if your divorce is uncontested, meaning you and your spouse agree on all the important terms and conditions, you are still both technically on opposing sides of the courtroom. Any attorney that represents one of you will not be permitted to also represent the other because this would create a conflict of interest.

Can you go to court with one attorney?

You cannot go into court both sharing one attorney, but what if you don’t rely on the courtroom to settle your disagreements? If you decide to use mediation and come up with a divorce agreement in a conference room instead of a courtroom, you are looking at an entirely different legal situation than before. During mediation, you can use one attorney, but that lawyer isn’t representing you or your ex-spouse. Instead, the family lawyer overseeing your mediation acts as a neutral party that helps each but fights for neither.