what to say when calling a divorce lawyer

^{Divorce clients worry about whether they should tell their attorney everything or keep some facts secret.}

1. Disclose All Relevant Information. It’s important to share all relevant facts with your divorce attorney so he or she can prepare for and deal with potential problems.
2. Provide a Written History of Your Marriage. It’s helpful for your attorney to have a written statement outlining the important facts in your marriage, including how you met your ...
3. Share Sensitive Information. You probably don’t want to tell your attorney you are having an affair or physically abusing your spouse or children, but it’s critical that your attorney ...
4. Issues to Discuss. There are a number of important issues you will need to discuss with your attorney during the first meeting, including child custody, child support, spousal support, ...
5. Things Not to Say. Finally, there are some things you should not say to your prospective attorney, such as “I don’t care about costs because I want to punish ...

Can I talk to my spouse about my divorce attorney?

However, speaking with your spouse about the divorce does not mean you speak with your spouse about what your attorney told you and/or what you told your attorney. 4. How can I keep communication between my spouse and me amicable? You should strive for amicable communication.

What should I not say to my prospective divorce attorney?

Finally, there are some things you should not say to your prospective attorney, such as “I don’t care about costs because I want to punish my spouse, I want to bring a friend with me to our meeting, I need to get this over with as soon as possible because I want to remarry, or I will never pay child support to my ex-spouse.”

What should I tell my divorce attorney about my affair?

Share Sensitive Information. You probably don’t want to tell your attorney you are having an affair or physically abusing your spouse or children, but it’s critical that your attorney knows about these difficult facts so he or she can be properly prepared to defend you if they come up in the course of your divorce.

What should I expect from my divorce attorney?

The divorce attorney should also explain to you whether, from a first impression, you have the kind of case that will likely settle or proceed to court. This is not predicting the future. This is the attorney being candid with you about his or her first impressions.

What questions should I ask when getting a divorce?

Questions to ask a divorce attorney on the first visit about communicationHow often will we communicate about my case? ... How will we communicate with each other? ... What communication should I have with my spouse about the issues you and I discuss? ... How can I keep communication between my spouse and me amicable?More items...

What should a woman ask for in a divorce settlement?

You can ask for life insurance, a smaller share of your accumulated debt, more of the family heirlooms or jewelry, or a higher percentage of the retirement funds. Just like women, the men can ask for whatever they feel like they're entitled to within the divorce.

How do you play dirty in a divorce?

Top 10 Dirtiest Divorce TricksServing Papers with the Intent to Embarrass. You're angry with your spouse, and you want to humiliate him or her. ... Taking Everything. ... Canceling Credit Cards. ... Clearing Our Your Bank Accounts. ... Starving Out the Other Spouse. ... Refusing to Cooperate. ... Jeopardizing Employment. ... Meddling in an Affair.More items...•

What to do before saying you want a divorce?

Top 10 Things to Do Before You File For a DivorceNever Threaten to Divorce Until You Are Ready To File. ... Organize Your Documents. ... Focus on Your Children. ... Make Sure You Have Three Months of Financial Resources. ... Obtain the Best Legal Advice You Can Get. ... Make Sure You Have Available Credit.More items...

Why moving out is the biggest mistake in a divorce?

You Can Damage Your Child Custody Claim One of the most significant ways moving out can influence your divorce is when it comes to child custody. If you move out, it means you don't spend as much time with your kids. Not only can this harm your relationship, but it can also damage your custody claim.

Who loses more in a divorce?

Marriage is connected to a longer lifespan for both men and women. While both genders see a rise in deaths following divorce, the rate for men is 1,773 per 100,000, compared to 1,096 for women.

How do you fight a narcissist in a divorce?

Divorcing a NarcissistDon't Even THINK That Your Divorce Will Be Amicable. ... Get a Strong, but Reasonable, Divorce Lawyer. ... Get a Therapist. ... Assemble Your Support Team BEFORE You Divorce. ... Get EVERYTHING in Writing! ... Stay Out of Court as Much as You Can. ... Find Ways Your Narcissistic Spouse Can “Win” ... Pick Your Battles Wisely.More items...

Why does a narcissist drag out a divorce?

They crave your dependence and loyalty above all else. Without you, they will feel the need to act in an aggressive or jealous manner. This can make a simple divorce case quickly turn into a drawn out affair. Protect yourself by working with an experienced divorce attorney that advocates for your best interests.

What should you not do during separation?

5 Mistakes To Avoid During Your SeparationKeep it private. The second you announce you're getting a divorce, everyone will have an opinion. ... Don't leave the house. ... Don't pay more than your share. ... Don't jump into a rebound relationship. ... Don't put off the inevitable.

How do you tell a narcissist you want a divorce?

How To Tell Your Narcissist Spouse That You Want A DivorceTips For Breaking The News.Understand narcissistic injury. Narcissists are brittle people. ... Don't blame the narcissist. ... Stick to your guns. ... Hire a reasonable attorney. ... Respond strategically.

How do I ask for divorce peacefully?

There's no single “right” answer when asking for a divorce, but with preparation, you can make a tough conversation go a little more smoothly:Prepare Yourself. ... Choose A Suitable Place and Time. ... Keep Your Cool for Your Kids. ... Be Gentle, But Firm. ... Listen to Their Perspective. ... Be Understanding and Empathetic.More items...•

How much does a divorce lawyer cost?

On average, couples pay $5,000 - $10,000 in divorce costs for amicable divorces.

What should you do and say to your divorce attorney when you first meet? It sounds like a simple question, but meeting with a complete stranger to discuss the shortcomings of your marriage is often easier said than done

Having practiced family law for the past twenty-two plus years I have come to appreciate how agonizing the first consultation with your divorce lawyer can be.

So, what should you do and say to your divorce attorney during your first meeting?

It sounds like a simple question, but meeting with a complete stranger to discuss the shortcomings of your marriage is often easier said than done.

1. Your must-haves and your goals

What can’t you live without? What do you want your life to look like post-divorce?

2. The true and unannotated version of events

State the facts clearly and plainly and without critical comments about your spouse or the important events in question.

Why is it important to ask a divorce attorney about their experience?

First, it will test the divorce attorney's knowledge and experience of the divorce process and divorce law. Second, it will educate you on what specifically the attorney can and will do with you to help mitigate the costs. Do not settle for a generic answer.

What can a divorce attorney do for you?

An experienced and knowledgeable divorce attorney will provide you with the tools to communicate better with your spouse. These tools include how to communicate with your spouse, when to communicate with your spouse and how to diffuse conflict.

What happens if an attorney cannot provide references to former clients?

If an attorney cannot provide you with multiple references to former clients, that attorney may not have much success representing clients. The former clients should also be types of cases similar to yours. I am not referring to you going through a divorce and getting a referral to a prior divorce client.

What is spousal support?

Spousal support, also called alimony, is either temporary or ordered at the final judgment. Most divorce cases include both temporary spousal support and spousal support at the judgment phase. We are not going to go into a lengthy discussion about spousal support.

What happens if an attorney does not have a solid command of the law?

If the attorney does not have a solid command of the law on these issues, he or she may lack the experience you need. This is especially true if you expect your divorce to be contested and high conflict. Questions to ask a divorce attorney on the first visit about the divorce process. 1.

What should an attorney explain to you?

The attorney should explain to you the importance of the attorney - client relationship and the privilege in communications. The attorney should explain to you how and why you should not disclose attorney - client communications to any third parties or your spouse. This is a complex topic.

How often do attorneys communicate?

The more complex the case, the more the communication will likely take place. A typical case has communication between one to four times per month.

What to discuss with a lawyer about divorce?

There are a number of important issues you will need to discuss with your attorney during the first meeting, including child custody, child support, spousal support, division of the marital estate, any separate property claims, community debts, and your expectations about the likely outcome of the case.

How to share facts with divorce lawyer?

It’s important to share all relevant facts with your divorce attorney so he or she can prepare for and deal with potential problems. Even if you think a particular fact is irrelevant to your divorce, make certain to mention it to your attorney so he or she can decide whether the item could create a problem down the road. You don’t need to tell your attorney everything about your marriage and children, but make certain to share all items relevant to the issues of your case. If you are in doubt about what your attorney needs to know, get guidance on what’s relevant.

What is collaborative divorce?

A collaborative divorce is a cooperative process where an experienced team guides you through your divorce with minimal stress and expense. Litigation is an adversarial approach to divorce and involves going to court, presenting evidence, ...

Why is it important to go to court for divorce?

Going to court encourages fighting, the stress of litigation makes it more likely you will become emotional, and the lawyers will control the divorce because court rules and procedures are complex.

How to reconcile a marriage?

Making a marriage work can be challenging, especially when one spouse is considering divorce. It takes time and effort to rebuilt a relationship, but if both spouses are committed to making the marriage work, reconciliation is possible. 1.

Why do lawyers use investigators?

Some attorney use investigators to search for damaging facts, and if there is a suspicion of an affair , an investigator is likely to be involved. If you are in an abusive relationship, make certain you tell your lawyer, even if you are ashamed of it. Also, if you have contracted a sexually transmitted disease or have hidden assets or debts, ...

What happens during discovery in a divorce?

During the discovery process, if you opt for a litigated divorce , these facts are likely to come up and in a collaborative divorce, you are obligated to share all relevant information with the other side. Some attorney use investigators to search for damaging facts, and if there is a suspicion of an affair, an investigator is likely to be involved. ...

Why is confidentiality important in divorce?

The confidentiality shared in the attorney-client relationship is important to your attorney’s ability to be your best advocate, and counselor in the divorce process. This is a “no judgment” zone. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing this kind of information with your divorce attorney, you may want to consider that this may not be ...

What happens when you discover your affair?

The day your affair was discovered will be one of those days you aren’t likely to ever forget. With the secret you worked hard to hide now out in the open, your two worlds have collided, and you are left to deal with the great emotional damage you caused to those you care about most.