what should i know before going to a lawyer for a divorce

by Prof. Vanessa Luettgen Jr. 8 min read

Before your meeting with a divorce lawyer, try to have learned or assembled the following 13 categories of information: Several years of your tax returns; Checking and savings account statement;

How to Prepare for a Divorce Attorney Consultation
  • Being Prepared is Key. Being prepared will help give you the best chance to protect your interests during the divorce. ...
  • Tax Returns. ...
  • Pay Stubs. ...
  • Legal Documents. ...
  • Potentially Incriminating Evidence.
Mar 22, 2020

Full Answer

What are some questions to ask a divorce attorney?

Jun 08, 2018 ¡ No matter where you stand, here are 3 things you need to know before your first meeting with a divorce lawyer: 1. Be yourself in the meeting. You are allowed to feel and express emotion because a...

What are the best questions to ask a lawyer?

Feb 23, 2016 · But having this information in advance will make your meeting with your attorney more effective, efficient, and productive. Louis R. Fine – Trusted Chicago Divorce Attorney. If you are considering divorce and are looking for counsel, please give me a call at (312) 236-2433 or fill out my online form to arrange for a consultation. When we meet, we can go through all of your …

What questions should I ask at a divorce consultation?

Although, if the home is not a safe place to be, secure a place to live before you file for a divorce. Consult with your attorney before you make any steps. 10. Build up tolerance and resilience. Counseling might not come as an obvious answer to ‘what to do first in divorce.’ However, having a marriage counselor can be as useful as having a lawyer.

What questions are asked in divorce court?

May 08, 2019 · KNOW that it is okay if you are emotional. People often feel grief, anger, betrayal, despair, sadness – working through those emotions is an important part of your journey as you move through this period of transition. Your divorce …

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What to do before filing for divorce?

Divorce is not only tasking; it is unpredictable in its outcomes and length. When you decide to divorce, what to do first is a common question. Before filing for divorce, there are things to do that can help you prevent a lot of financial and emotional struggles.

How to prepare for divorce?

Prepare your documents. Include the organization of documents in the preliminary steps to file for the divorce. The better your papers are arranged, the more money you will save. If your documentation is a mess, your lawyer needs more time to go through it, thus increasing your bill. 6.

What is the role of a counselor in divorce?

While a lawyer helps you win the battle in court, a counselor can help you win the internal battle of conflicting forces. A professional can help you prepare for, cope with, and discover strategies of dealing with divorce struggles. Taking the high road during divorce is not easy, yet it is important.

How to protect yourself and your children?

Being cautious can help you protect yourself and your children in this lengthy and tasking process. 1. Don’t threaten with divorce. Before addressing divorce and what to do first, let’s address an important matter you shouldn’t do—filing for divorce when not certain in your decision can backfire.

What to do when you are in doubt about divorce?

Furthermore, before breaking the news to your spouse, you can do some other steps to protect yourself. Surround yourself with the support of family, friends, and professionals.

How to deal with divorce when you break the news?

Understand how your actions can impact divorce. Once you break the news to your soon-to-be-ex, you need to be more careful about your actions and the things you say. They can be used against you in a court of law. In a divorce, what to do first and what to avoid are crucial questions.

How does moving out affect a divorce?

In some cases, moving out could impact the fight over the ownership of the family home. Although, if the home is not a safe place to be, secure a place to live before you file for a divorce. Consult with your attorney before you make any steps. 10. Build up tolerance and resilience.

What happens when you discover your affair?

The day your affair was discovered will be one of those days you aren’t likely to ever forget. With the secret you worked hard to hide now out in the open, your two worlds have collided, and you are left to deal with the great emotional damage you caused to those you care about most.

Why is confidentiality important in divorce?

The confidentiality shared in the attorney-client relationship is important to your attorney’s ability to be your best advocate, and counselor in the divorce process. This is a “no judgment” zone. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing this kind of information with your divorce attorney, you may want to consider that this may not be ...

Is a perfect marriage a perfect marriage?

The “perfect marriage” isn’t perfect and there is no perfect spouse. Be leery of anyone portraying a perfect marriage. The very best marriages are still made up of two flawed people just trying to figure it all out. Even relationship therapists who have good marriages, frequently have hard marriages.

How to deal with divorce emotionally?

If you have the financial means, it can help to speak with a therapist or other mental health professional. At the very least, speak with friends who have been through divorce. Let your family and friends know that you’ll be leaning on them for advice and moral support. Being emotionally stable will better prepare you to make smart decisions as your divorce progresses.

What does a divorce decree mean?

In most jurisdictions, the judge automatically issues an order at the beginning of your divorce case that prohibits you or your spouse from selling, buying, or otherwise encumbering or disposing of any marital property. Courts do this to prevent either spouse from draining the bank accounts, or dissipating the marital estate out of spite.

What should be included in a marital estate?

Include real property, cars, retirement accounts, bank accounts and other assets, as well as any mortgages, notes, credit cards, and other debts. This can give you an idea of what you and your spouse will split, and you can start working on your desired division of the marital estate.

Can I have a relationship with my spouse before divorce?

Additionally, a judge may consider money you spend on a paramour dissipation of the marital estate, and could require you to reimburse your spouse for those expenditures. In any case , it typically doesn’t help your case to have started another relationship before your divorce has been filed. In some states you can begin a relationship after filing for divorce; speak with your attorney about how the court will view dating before your divorce is complete. See Divorce and Dating for more information.

Can I get a divorce without a balance sheet?

You can’t decide your financial goals for your divorce without having an accurate picture of your assets and debts. While it’s not usually necessary to hire an accountant prior to filing for divorce, it’s a good idea to put together a simple balance sheet showing all of your assets and debts.

Can I get divorced if only one spouse wants to end the marriage?

Once you’ve served your spouse with divorce papers, it can be difficult to go back on that decision, even if you’ve changed your mind. The court can grant a divorce even if only one spouse wants to end the marriage. If you’d still like to give marital counseling a try, do so before you file for divorce.

Should I interview more than one attorney before filing for divorce?

It’s a good idea to interview more than one attorney before you decide to file for divorce. You’ll want to work with an attorney that fits your style, and understands your goals for litigation . Avoid lawyers who offer you solutions before listening to the particular facts of your case.

What is the most contentious aspect of divorce?

Dividing up property a couple has acquired throughout their marriage (also known as marital property) can be one of the most contentious aspects of divorce. Luckily, divorce attorneys can help alleviate some of your legal and financial stresses by advocating for a division of property that works in your favor.

Is divorce exhaustive?

As you can see, the above list extensive -- yet, it is not exhaustive. Every divorce is different since every couple enters and leaves a marriage under different circumstances and with different assets. Therefore, to ensure no property is overlooked, it is always a good idea to have an open and frank conversation with your attorney regarding all ...

Is it a good idea to have an open and frank conversation with your attorney regarding all of the property

Therefore, to ensure no property is overlooked, it is always a good idea to have an open and frank conversation with your attorney regarding all of the property and assets relevant to your case.

What to do when you get a sense of divorce?

When you get a sense you are heading for divorce, set up an official system that will include documentation, official correspondence, court records, research, notes and more. Make copies for yourself, your attorney and any other members of your team who will benefit from having pertinent information.

Why is it important to make sure you are treated fairly after divorce?

Making sure you are treated fairly is vital to give you the best chance of moving forward in the best possible way after your divorce is finalized. Whether your divorce issues are narrow and simple or complex and multifaceted, you will still need to acquire a fair amount of information to prepare for divorce.

What do you include in a divorce affidavit?

Include any memberships, reward points, and other perks that may be considered as assets . If you’re in the dark about your finances, that’s okay. You and your spouse will be required to complete financial affidavits (disclosures) as part of the divorce process.

What information is needed to file a student loan?

Include all information such as balances owed, interest rate, payment schedule and the school, and what period of time you or your spouse received the loan.

How many bills do you have to pay before divorce?

Before your divorce, you had one house payment, one set of utility bills, one health insurance policy and so forth. Now, you and your spouse will now have two of each of these (and many others) to deal with. This means you’ll need to have a thorough understanding of your current and future expenses.

Can you talk to your spouse after a divorce?

Some couples find it impossible to talk to their spouses after an initial split, and that’s understandable. However, just because you’ve separated, does not mean you are done in your relationship with that person. The better your communication and cooperation are, the quicker and easier your divorce will be.

Do you need a financial analyst for divorce?

Depending on the complexity of your divorce, you may need a lot of documentation to give to your lawyer or Certified Divorce Financial Analyst . The more organized you are upfront will not only save you time and stress, but it will also save you money as well.

How to choose a divorce attorney?

There are several things to look for when choosing a divorce attorney. You want to choose someone who is experienced, respected, competent, and affordable. If they are proving to not be a good fit though, change them. Because you can, even if the reason is that you don't get on with him or her. Bear in mind however that if an attorney has worked on your case, you'll have to pay her/him for their time. Also, it might damage your case to change attorney's when you are close to a court ordered deadline, so only do it after careful consideration.

What are some secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you?

Below are twenty secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you. 1. It's going to cost more than you bargained for. It's not always the case—but more often than not, the costs associated with your divorce will often be higher than your lawyer's original estimate.

How do divorce lawyers save money?

That you'll save money and heartache by being organized. Divorce lawyers often charge by the hour. If you take responsibility for being as organized as possible, not only are you likely to walk away from your marriage with a more acceptable outcome, you'll probably save some money too.

What is mediation in divorce?

Mediation is a process whereby you and your spouse sit down with a neutral third party to negotiate several important areas of divorce. It's a low-cost way to address practically any other disagreement you and your spouse may have. While the mediator's decision is not binding, it allows a neutral party to provide their perspective on how divorce related issues should be addressed. However, mediation can only be a useful tool if you and your spouse can come to an broad agreement.

What does it mean to be uncontested in divorce?

An uncontested divorce means that you and your spouse agree child custody, spousal support, child support, visitation, and division of property. If you find that there is no need to fight over these things, you've already saved yourself thousands of dollars.

What is fault based divorce?

Fault-based divorce is when one spouse committed an act that gives legal justification to the ending of the marriage. These acts include adultery, a felony conviction, cruelty, or desertion.

How to start a divorce?

One of the best and simplest ways to do that is to start a divorce file. In this file, keep every bit of paper that could have an effect on how your divorce proceedings. Gather copies of all important financial documents and access to all account information. Keep it organized and easy to navigate.

How long can you live with a divorce?

Everyone needs time to adjust and make good, clear decisions that you can live with for many years to come. During the divorce process there are so many difficult decisions that need to be made, and these should not be made swiftly or without a lot of time to think and process.

How to let go of your past marriage?

In the process of letting go of your past married life, you will need to begin to create your new life, which often brings tremendous personal growth. However, until you get there, you will likely feel a great amount of fear and anxiety of the unknown. It takes work, but you will find happiness at the other end! 2.

What to do if you feel stuck with your ex?

This doesn’t mean you condone your ex’s behavior, it simply means you need to let go of it. If you feel stuck, seek help — a therapist, a divorce advisor, or a divorce support group. 8. Holidays are so hard, especially in the first few years. Start new traditions and make sure you are not alone.

Can I have two homes after divorce?

Creating two new homes after divorce with the same resources is one of the first big challenges one may need to make . You may need to go back to work, which can be a huge challenge if you have been home with your kids for so many years.

Do bad behaviors disappear when you get divorced?

Remember that the bad behaviors you lived with don’t just disappear when you get divorced — the buttons they used to press when you were married may still get triggered, and sometimes even more so after you split. Do your best to let it go and not let it get to you anymore. Easier said then done; it takes practice. 3.

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