what not to say to a lawyer abiut custody

How do you do well in a custody evaluation?

How do you win a custody battle against a narcissist?

What kind of questions do you ask a narcissist in child custody?

How do you approach a mediator with a narcissist?

How do you expose a narcissist in custody?

How do you prove narcissistic abuse in court?

What are the 12 best interest factors child custody?

Should a narcissist get 50 50 custody?

How do I co parent with a narcissist?

How do you beat a narcissist argument?

How do narcissists negotiate in court?

How do you make a narcissist miserable?

LET NEGATIVE EMOTIONS TOWARDS THE OTHER PARENT CLOUD YOUR JUDGEMENT

LET NEGATIVE EMOTIONS TOWARDS THE OTHER PARENT CLOUD YOUR JUDGEMENT One of the biggest mistakes made by individuals involved in custody matters is to put their personal animosity towards the other parent above the best interests of their child. Quite frankly, the Court cares very little about the reasons that caused the parents to separate.

WITHOLD ALL VISITATION FROM THE OTHER PARENT WITHOUT A PROPER REASON TO DO SO

WITHOLD ALL VISITATION FROM THE OTHER PARENT WITHOUT A PROPER REASON TO DO SO There are certainly circumstances that warrant preventing a parent from having unsupervised visitation with a child prior to the issuance of a court order.

MOVE OUT OF THE CHILDREN'S SCHOOL DISTRICT WITHOUT A GOOD REASON

MOVE OUT OF THE CHILDREN'S SCHOOL DISTRICT WITHOUT A GOOD REASON Many judges are extremely hesitant to move children out of their existing school district. They do not believe the children's best interests are served by removing them from a familiar environment and from their friends.

REFUSE TO COOPERATE WITH THE OTHER PARENT

REFUSE TO COOPERATE WITH THE OTHER PARENT Custody can become a very nasty and a hate-filled process. However, it is important that you cooperate with the other parent regarding your children's well being.

FALL TO THE LEVEL OF THE OTHER PARENT

FALL TO THE LEVEL OF THE OTHER PARENT Oftentimes a parent will be very good about being cooperative with the other parent regarding their children's interests in the beginning. However, once the other parent starts becoming difficult they fall down to there level and become just as petty.

TALK BADLY ABOUT THE OTHER PARENT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN

TALK BADLY ABOUT THE OTHER PARENT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN By now you are probably starting to notice a general theme to these paragraphs and that theme is that the Courts greatly prefer both parents to be involved in the children's lives and not disparage the other.

BE PREPARED

BE PREPARED There are many important factors to consider when initially dealing with a custody dispute. Things such as parents work schedule, daycare, and ability to get the children to and from events often become very important issues.

How do children cope with change?

Even if you think your children are handling things well, every child in the middle of a custody war between two adults they probably love benefits from having a neutral third party they can talk to about their feelings. Your children need to feel safe while this process is ongoing. And remember, your children feel your anxiety and frustration, even when you don’t think they are paying attention, take care of their mental health.

Can you introduce your children to your significant other?

DON’T introduce the children to your significant others. Be mindful that your children are struggling emotionally with the breakup of the family. If your significant other is important to you, and there is a genuine chance that they are going to remain in your life after the case, then they will understand that there will be a more appropriate time in the future for you to introduce them to your children.

Do you take your kids' best interests into consideration?

DO take your kids’ best interests into consideration before you say or do anything during a child custody case. Even if you believe you always have and do to this day, now is the time to be even more diligent. And honestly, your kids need it right now more ever. Custody battles are frustrating and hard. Judges make custody determinations specifically on whom they believe is really going to look out for your children’s best interests.

Can you have a custody case if you have no history of church attendance?

However, if you and your children have no history of church attendance prior to the custody case, DON’T use your new-found interest in church as a reason to try to prohibit the other parent from weekend parenting time.

Can you go to bars while you are in custody?

9. DON’T go to bars or nightclubs while your child custody case is ongoing. These types of activities will only make you look bad at trial, as there is no way to spin frequenting bars and acting like a drunk for a judge. Believe it or not, the risks of unintentionally behaving badly after a night at the bar far outweigh the benefits, even though it may not always feel that way.

Do you give the judge reasons to like you?

DO give the judge as many reasons as possible to like you not only as a parent, but also as a person, and to rule in your favor.

Can you fight at an exchange?

DON’T fight at encounters or exchanges. You are there to drop off or pick up your children, not to engage in battle with the other parent. And if you are having issues with the other parent’s behavior at exchanges, DO document the exchanges via video.

What to do if you are unsure about custody?

A good attorney can take a lot of the stress out of your custody case and help keep you on the right track.

What does a judge consider in a custody case?

A judge will consider each parent’s ability and efforts to facilitate the parent-child relationship. If you want to succeed in a custody case, show a judge how you facilitate parent-child visits and support your child’s family relationships.

What happens if you lie to a judge?

Most judges have a way at getting to the bottom of a story and finding out the truth. Lying to a judge or officer of the court is considered perjury. If you lie in your custody case filings—or on the witness stand—you lose all credibility and may lose custody as well.

What do judges consider when making custody decisions?

Judges consider numerous factors when making custody decisions, however, a child’s best interests are always the central focus. Some parents are surprised to learn that a boyfriend or girlfriend they love and trust can harm their chances at obtaining the custody plan they want.

What does it mean when a judge finds out about your home?

A parent’s ability to provide a stable, clean, and nurturing environment is essential. If your new boyfriend or girlfriend poses any risk of harm to your child, a judge may find that your home isn't a suitable choice. A significant other’s live-in children might also impact a judge’s decision. A judge will want to ensure ...

Is lying to a judge considered perjury?

Most judges have a way at getting to the bottom of a story and finding out the truth. Lying to a judge or officer of the court is considered perjury . If you lie in your custody case filings—or on the witness stand—you lose all credibility and may lose custody as well.

Can an ex move without court approval?

Your ex—and the court—should be able to reach you easily throughout the custody proceeding. For example, a custodial parent can’t relocate without court approval. Additionally, many temporary custody orders require a parent to notify the other parent before leaving town.

What to discuss with a lawyer about divorce?

There are a number of important issues you will need to discuss with your attorney during the first meeting, including child custody, child support, spousal support, division of the marital estate, any separate property claims, community debts, and your expectations about the likely outcome of the case.

How to share facts with divorce lawyer?

It’s important to share all relevant facts with your divorce attorney so he or she can prepare for and deal with potential problems. Even if you think a particular fact is irrelevant to your divorce, make certain to mention it to your attorney so he or she can decide whether the item could create a problem down the road. You don’t need to tell your attorney everything about your marriage and children, but make certain to share all items relevant to the issues of your case. If you are in doubt about what your attorney needs to know, get guidance on what’s relevant.

Why is it important to go to court for divorce?

Going to court encourages fighting, the stress of litigation makes it more likely you will become emotional, and the lawyers will control the divorce because court rules and procedures are complex.

Why do lawyers use investigators?

Some attorney use investigators to search for damaging facts, and if there is a suspicion of an affair , an investigator is likely to be involved. If you are in an abusive relationship, make certain you tell your lawyer, even if you are ashamed of it. Also, if you have contracted a sexually transmitted disease or have hidden assets or debts, ...

What happens during discovery in a divorce?

During the discovery process, if you opt for a litigated divorce , these facts are likely to come up and in a collaborative divorce, you are obligated to share all relevant information with the other side. Some attorney use investigators to search for damaging facts, and if there is a suspicion of an affair, an investigator is likely to be involved. ...

Why is it so hard to be honest in divorce?

It’s difficult to be totally honest because the issues are personal and can be embarrassing. Even when you know conversations with your attorney are confidential, some things make you feel ashamed so you are reluctant to be totally open about ...

Can you tell a lawyer you don't care about costs?

Telling a lawyer you don’t care about costs may double your attorney’s fees. Bringing a friend to the meetings with your attorney may destroy attorney-client privilege. Being in a hurry will put you at a disadvantage and may increase the cost of your divorce.

What to expect when you're preparing for custody battle?

If you’re preparing for a custody battle, it’s understandable to be stressed and concerned. You’re likely facing the dissolution of your marriage and may have a lot of anger and hurt feelings towards your ex-spouse. You might be frustrated imagining a future where you can only see your children on certain days.

What happens if you refuse to pay child support?

Refusing to pay could lead to the judge declaring you in contempt of court. This will not help you in your child custody battle.

How to maximize parental rights?

If you have a temporary custody arrangement in place (for instance, you have weekend visitation rights with your kids), then it’s important to maximize those parental rights. Spend as much time as possible with your children; this shows the judge that you genuinely prioritize them and are in this custody battle for the right reasons.

What to do when you have kids?

When you do have your kids, it’s also important to do mundane things with them like homework and chores, not just take them to Water World every time. This shows the judge that you’re genuinely interested in the harder and less glamorous aspects of parenting.

How long before a child is removed from school can you notify your ex?

To be extremely safe, we recommend that you notify your ex-spouse in writing of any plans to remove your child from school or daycare, and submit that notice 2 weeks before the planned removal.

Is divorce a stressful time for children?

The divorce process and custody battle are a stressful time for children, as the peaceful home that they knew can rupture down the middle. In this turbulent period, it’s best to avoid adding to that turbulence by introducing your child to a new significant other. They may feel torn between your ex-spouse and your new partner or feel that you’re trying to replace their other parent.

Can you take your child to another state without their consent?

If you’re not the primary custodian of your child, removing them from school or daycare without the other parent’s consent is a huge misstep. It can demonstrate an unwillingness to do the communication that co-parenting requires. It can even be seen as kidnapping, if you take your child to another state (for example, for a family reunion) without notifying the primary custodian.

How to contact Sherer Law Offices about child custody?

For more information about child custody situations, call 618-692-6656 or contact the experienced attorneys at Sherer Law Offices to schedule a legal consultation today.

What to do when interacting with the Guardian ad litem?

The guardian ad litem will likely ask to speak with both parents and may request certain documents. ?Your responses to requests should be prompt; however, you do have the right to discuss any document requests with your attorney. The more you comply with and engages in inquiries from the GAL, the better you will be reviewed in the GAL report.

What is a GAL in custody cases?

When both parents in a child custody case genuinely think they are the best parent suited for custody of the child, assigning a GAL is vital. In these cases, each parent often hires a lawyer to represent themselves. These lawyers are required to act in the best interest of their client and not necessarily the child?s. It is difficult for the judge to decipher between which claims made by the parents? attorneys are legitimate causes for concern and those that are simply exaggerated accusations. This makes it necessary to get an objective, separate opinion that the judge can trust.

What is a guardian ad litem?

In a contested child custody case, a guardian ad litem (GAL) serves as a representative for the best interests of the child. The GAL is typically an established attorney with extensive experience with child custody and family laws. This person will be appointed by the judge based on his/her knowledge and experience.?

What to consider when trying to win custody battle?

The other thing you need to take into consideration when trying to win your child custody battle is what your ex is going to do. It doesn’t matter how reasonable and level-headed you are, if they decide to fight dirty then you’re almost guaranteed to lose your case.

What to do when you have a child custody battle with your ex?

The first and most important thing to do if you’re going through a child custody battle with your ex is knowing why you’re fighting for custody in the first place. There are a lot of people out there who want, or need, to win their child custody cases, but don’t know exactly what they’re fighting for. If this sounds like you, you might want ...

What to teach kids during custody battle?

There are a lot of things that can go wrong if you’re going through a custody battle, but there are plenty of ways to use this as an opportunity to teach your kids valuable life lessons. This, in turn, will teach them to treat their children with kindness and respect even when they’re going through a bad period.

What to do if you are late to court?

If you’re late, don’t show up, or don’t let your ex know where/when/for how long your taking the kids then there’s going to be an issue.

How to maintain jurisdiction over your child?

Work with the court system to maintain jurisdiction over your child. A big mistake a lot of people make is thinking that one parent has more rights than the other, but this isn’t necessarily true. If you’re a reasonable parent who’s willing to work with the court system and do whatever is in the child’s best interest then you should be able to get things done.

What to do if your ex is unreasonable?

What I mean by this is showing the court that your ex isn’t incredibly reasonable and rational; if the judge and/or opposing counsel thinks your ex is being unreasonable, then chances are they’ll rule in your favor.

Which state has the worst child support laws?

The state you live in or move to could decide the custody battle for you, whether it’s good or bad. Pennsylvania has some of the most stable law regarding child support and custody battles and California (yes, it is true) has one of the worst laws in this regard. A child support case can take years to settle out there!

Alienate the Kids

Alienate the Kids It is hard to speak positively about someone that you are fighting with. If this is the case for you, the best thing to do, especially if the other parent is speaking poorly of you, is to NOT return the favor.

Yelling

Yelling Emotions are very high at this point in your life. I understand that all too well. Especially if you are the father, your yelling will be perceived as aggression. When a man yells at a woman in the middle of a custody dispute, the woman is likely to claim that she fears for herself and the children.

Fight or Get Physical

Fight or Get Physical Do not heed the words of Olivia Newton John and "get physical". While your temper may be at a boiling point, it is NEVER advisable to physically harm another person, especially the other parent. If the other parent gets physical with you by pushing, hitting or shoving, do not return the favor.

Move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend

Move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend Typically, moving a relationship to the next level is a good thing and I congratulate you for moving on and finding someone special. In the middle of a custody battle, however, you need to show the judge stability.

Criticize the other parent to other adults

Criticize the other parent to other adults You were a couple and now you are not but it is highly likely that you had mutual friends. Even if you don't think you had mutual friends, keep in mind that your friends are going to talk, too, and their friends may be friends of your ex.

Stop paying child support

Stop paying child support Failure to pay support obligations can result in jail time and it is very difficult to see the kids from behind bars. Do almost anything to make sure that your support obligations are being met. Parenthood is not a pay-to-play event. You get to be a parent whether you pay or not.

Damage someone's property

Damage someone's property I'm sure it would feel so vindicating to slash the other parent's tires or key your in-laws' car in the middle of the night but resist the urge. While it is a big leap to go from keying a car to hurting your children, judges have amazing legs and can make some pretty big jumps.

What happens during custody hearings?

During custody hearings, every move that both spouses make is intensely scrutinized, both by the courts and the other party’s attorneys. As a result, fathers need to be especially cautious about what they say and do.

Can you put your kids in the middle of divorce?

This is a major no-no, says Anne P. Mitchell, Esq., a California lawyer and the author of They’re Your Kids, Too: The Single Father’s Guide. “Never, ever put the children in the middle,” she says. “Never talk to them about what is going on in your divorce, and especially about how you feel about their other parent.

Can a father cut loose after divorce?

When a divorce happens, there can be instances where the father decides to cut loose and party. It happens. That can stem from the pressures surrounding the divorce or even a feeling of having earned it after being married for so long. But this natural urge can be a critical mistake as, in an era where every single person is armed with a camera, one bad night can follow you right into court. Even an isolated night of drunken rowdiness can carry long-term consequences, says Meyer. “As an attorney,” she says, “you’re going to argue that it’s not just circumstantial related to the divorce, but that it’s more about the person’s character. That the person is doing this in the workplace or in social situations and they have a personality disorder.”

Is it bad to use kids as go-betweens?

“I’ve seen things where parents have given children child support checks to bring to the other spouse,” says Meyer. “That’s really bad. A kid doesn’t want to say, ‘Here, Mom, here’s your child support check.’”

Should a dad vent to his kids about divorce?

This is a major no-no , says Anne P. Mitchell, Esq., a California lawyer and the author of They’re Your Kids, Too: The Single Father’s Guide. “Never, ever put the children in the middle,” she says. “Never talk to them about what is going on in your divorce, and especially about how you feel about their other parent. The only thing that your children should be hearing about their other parent from you — or your friends and other family — is cooperative co-parenting messages. You are divorcing their other parent; the children are not.”

Disclose All Relevant information.

Provide A Written History of Your Marriage.

Share Sensitive information.

Issues to Discuss.

Things Not to say.

• Finally, there are some things you should not say to your prospective attorney, such as “I don’t care about costs because I want to punish my spouse, I want to bring a friend with me to our meeting, I need to get this over with as soon as possible because I want to remarry, or I will never pay child support to my ex-spouse.” Telling a lawyer you do...

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