what kind of divorce lawyer should i get if i have kids?

by Prof. Gerardo White 4 min read

Full Answer

Do I need a lawyer to get a divorce?

you want to try mediation (with or without an attorney) to resolve disputed issues, or you need to hire an attorney to represent you through settlement and/or in court. There are a few factors to consider when deciding which divorce path is right for you.

Can a child have a say in a divorce?

In the eyes of the law, a child over 18 does not have a legal say in your divorce. Where you live, how much you pay for their needs, and how much time they spend with each parent will depend on the child and parent's personal preferences. This topic becomes complicated if you have a child who has special needs or is over 18 but is incapacitated.

Is getting a divorce always better for the kids?

And if you’re having these sorts of problems, has getting a divorce ever crossed your mind, especially because you’ve read that that would ultimately be better for the kids. Well, I can be quite clear about that: “No, it won’t!” I was a divorce mediator before I began saving marriages.

How can I protect my children during a divorce?

Child custody and child support will be part of your divorce filing (your request to start your divorce case). If your children face harm, you can ask the judge for an emergency custody hearing and temporary orders to protect them.

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How to divorce a child?

The judge's role in a divorce involving children is to determine what is in the child's best interests. The judge will likely consider your child's needs above your own when it comes to: 1 Keeping the family unit together for siblings, half-siblings, step-siblings, adopted siblings, etc. 2 Assigning a co-parenting schedule or child custody schedule that favors one parent above the other (most courts presume 50/50 child custody) 3 Selecting higher or lower child support than you predicted 4 Reconsidering custody or financial orders if you or your ex-spouse are remarried or have other children 5 Choosing the most stable environment between two homes 6 Limiting changes for your child (such as keeping them at the same school or home)

What is the role of a judge in a divorce?

The judge's role in a divorce involving children is to determine what is in the child's best interests. The judge will likely consider your child's needs above your own when it comes to: Keeping the family unit together for siblings, half-siblings, step-siblings, adopted siblings, etc.

How old do you have to be to get custody of a child?

There are times when your children will be directly involved in the proceedings. This varies depending on the child's age and state. Some states allow children as young as 12 to state which parent they want to live with, and many courts will let even young children offer an opinion on questions of custody.

What do kids hear about?

Your children may hear about addiction, cheating, crimes, fraud, domestic violence, financial issues, or other stressors. Children that are old enough to understand these topics may need to talk with you before you all attend court.

What age can a child live with a judge in California?

California will let children explain who they want to live with at age 14. Washington does not let minors offer their opinion unless the judge requests it. Wyoming allows judges to consider the wishes of children age 12 and up. This also works the opposite way.

What is the job of a county judge?

Your county judge's job is to make sure your child's best interests are top of mind for everyone. While the change is dramatic, you can work toward a smoother transition for your children and still protect your legal rights as a parent. Here are some things to keep in mind: 1.

Is divorce the same for children?

All divorces generally follow the same process. But when children are involved, there are extra steps and considerations. You should expect to have additional conversations with your attorney focused on child custody, visitation, parenting plans and child support. The divorce process can also get ugly if parents begin to attack each other ...

How to handle a divorce case?

You'll need to decide whether: you can handle your own divorce case through a do-it-yourself (DIY) method. you want to try mediation (with or without an attorney) to resolve disputed issues, or. you need to hire an attorney to represent you through settlement and/or in court. There are a few factors to consider when deciding which divorce path is ...

What to do when your spouse is lawyered up?

Once your spouse has lawyered up, you need to hire an experienced attorney, who can explain your rights and responsibilities, use specialized knowledge to advocate on your behalf, and obtain the best possible result for you and your family.

What happens if one spouse uses marital funds to rack up gambling debt?

For example, if one spouse used marital funds to rack up gambling debt or to take trips and buy gifts for an adulterous affair, a judge will usually assign these debts to the "guilty" spouse and order that the "innocent" spouse be reimbursed. If you and your spouse have very little property or debt to divide or if you can agree on ...

What is collaborative divorce?

With collaborative divorce, you and your spouse must both hire attorneys who are specially trained in collaborative law, and you have to commit to avoiding court. This process can be expensive, so it's important to do some research and learn all you can about collaborative divorce before you choose this path.

Why does a divorce take longer to resolve?

Fault cases typically take longer to resolve in court because you have to provide admissible evidence and prove to a judge the misconduct occurred and that it caused the divorce.

What happens if parents can't agree on a child's best interests?

When parents can't agree on these issues, they will either have to go to mediation to try and come to an agreement or they will end up in court asking a judge to decide for them.

Can a divorce mediator work?

If you and your spouse disagree about any of your divorce-related issues, mediation might be a good option; it can work even when divorcing spouses clash on meaningful issues. Sometimes spouses are able to work with a mediator and otherwise handle their case themselves.

What to do if you can't agree to custody?

If you and your spouse are unable to agree to a custody arrangement, then you also need to hire your own lawyer to get help sort this aspect of the divorce out. Many factors are in play in a custody decision. A divorce lawyer who understands the fine print of the laws that apply where you live gives you a far better chance ...

What is the primary goal of a lawyer?

Lawyers are supposed to work under one primary goal: the relentless pursuit of their clients’ interests. If you convey to a lawyer that your interest is specifically an amicable divorce, then that’s just what you should expect.

What is mediation in divorce?

Divorce mediation typically involves a neutral mediator – usually a divorce lawyer – so he or she can assist you and your spouse to reach an agreement that both of you can live with. A divorce mediator will not represent you or your husband, and as such can’t give either of you legal advice. Rather, a mediator will help you identify the issues that need resolution and assist in creating a divorce agreement that is in compliance and alignment with applicable laws.

Can a divorce mediator represent you?

A divorce mediator will not represent you or your husband, and as such can’t give either of you legal advice. Rather, a mediator will help you identify the issues that need resolution and assist in creating a divorce agreement that is in compliance and alignment with applicable laws.

Is divorce scary?

The prospect of divorce is a frightening one in its own right. The marriage and union you had hoped would last, and likely worked hard to accomplish, is coming to an end. The last thing you need is your spouse’s attorney intimidating you in the courtroom . Even despite this, some people make the choice to represent themselves in divorce hearings, even if their husband has personally hired a lawyer.

Can you get angry during a divorce?

It’s easy for you, your spouse, or both of you to get angry and even emotionally distraught during the divorce process. Simply handing the responsibility for handling your divorce to your divorce lawyer might seem like a welcome relief. However, it might actually complicate things for you more than simplify them.

Can a couple have a single lawyer?

Having said this, in certain situations, one couple might share a single lawyer in order to bring joint resolution to their divorce. This is usually restricted to couples that have already resolved custody issues, the division of debt, and asset partitioning on their own.

Do I Need a Divorce Lawyer?

Couples who agree on certain legal issues and get an uncontested divorce don’t need to hire a lawyer. Those who opt for a contested divorce should hire a professional as they will need assistance in court.

Should I Get a Contested or Uncontested Divorce?

An amicable separation is always a better option. We listed a few benefits of an uncontested marriage termination:

Get an Uncontested Divorce and End Your Marriage Without a Lawyer

Getting an uncontested divorce requires you to agree on the following issues with your spouse:

Can You File Divorce Papers Without a Lawyer?

You can file divorce papers yourself because most forms can be found at your local county house or the official government website, so you can complete and file the documents with the county clerk. Note that you will have to pay the filing fee. If you can’t afford it, you could be able to get a fee waiver.

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What is the best way to get divorced?

Mediation involves a neutral attorney who helps couples reach an agreement in a divorce. The mediator doesn’t represent either spouse and can’t give legal advice. Instead, mediators help couples identify the issues that need to be resolved and create an agreement that comports with the law.

What to do if you can't agree on custody of your child?

If you have children and you can't agree on a custody arrangement with your spouse, you should hire an attorney to help you sort this out. There are many factors that go into a custody decision. An attorney who understands the law can help you be successful in the custody process.

Can a couple have one attorney for divorce?

Under limited circumstances, a couple can use one attorney to resolve their divorce. Specifically, couples who’ve already resolved their asset, debt division, and custody issues may want to hire one attorney to draft up a divorce agreement. But, the spouse who hires or “retains” the lawyer is the lawyer’s client.

Can a divorce lawyer represent you?

But, the spouse who hires or “retains” the lawyer is the lawyer’s client. If you are the unrepresented spouse, be aware that the lawyer preparing the divorce agreement doesn’t represent you and cannot give you legal advice. One attorney may be enough for couples with simple divorces, but make sure you understand your legal rights if you’re ...

Can I share my divorce attorney with my spouse?

Can I Share a Divorce Attorney With My Spouse? Divorce attorneys can’t represent both spouses in a divorce. If your spouse asks you to split the legal bill, don’t do it. An attorney hired by your spouse can’t serve your interests too.

Can you argue divorce in court?

Mediation is confidential and even if you and your spouse don’t reach an agreement, you can still argue your divorce in court. The major drawback of mediation is that a mediator can’t advise you if you’re making a good decision – only your own attorney can.

What happens if one spouse performs differently than the other?

After all, for the first decade or two of their lives, parents are a child’s only access and training in terms of money handling – so if one spouse performs differently than the other, it only invites confusion. 2. The Spouse Is an Addict.

Did Kelsey's parents divorce?

Kelsey’s parents divorced while she was young, and she was raised by her single father, to which she carries the utmost respect and love. While a child of divorce, she wants to show people that it’s not always an end-of-the-world situation, and can actually end up being ideal for both spouses and the family as a whole.

Is divorce always the end of a child's happiness?

There are a lot of reasons I feel this way, of course, and I want other parents to know that divorce isn’t always the end of a child’s happiness, or the promise that your child will turn out angry and traumatized later in life. Sometimes it may even be for the better, whether the child realizes it at the time or not.

Is my spouse an addict?

The Spouse Is an Addict. While this may seem obvious, many people don’t understand the kind of influence an addicted parent can have on a child. Whether it’s prescription pain medication or alcoholism, children see what the parents do, and by their nature, will imitate.

Do parents have to be at each other's throats?

Two parents do not have to be constantly at each other’s’ throats in order to demonstrate an unhealthy relationship to children. Should you and your spouse keep from showing affection, intimacy, and general happiness while together, there’s a possibility a child’s opinion on “healthy” relationships might be skewed.

Can a parent be arrested for DUI?

In terms of alcoholism and having an effect on your child, there is a fine line to walk. A parent doesn’t have to be a raging drunk every night in order to have an effect; they don’t have to be arrested with an unusual DUI charge they don’t have to have the fridge stocked full of booze.

Is divorce good for kids?

If you’ve been considering divorce for some time, but are hesitant because you believe it may leave a bad mark on your children and their future, instead take a look at your relationship from their point of view, and their point of view as an eventual adult. It’s possible you will find that divorce might just better for the kids.

How many women remarry after divorce?

After a divorce, women generally have a tougher time in this department than men. Typically, less than 30% of women remarry, while 85% of men do. But that does not mean it’s easy for men, either. It is just that men tend to settle for a lower caliber partner more easily…at least at first.

What is the psychological impact of divorce?

The psychological impact of failing at one of the greatest endeavors of your life will stick with you forever. Divorce is considered by nearly every professional to be the worst possible catastrophe one encounters in life, second only to losing a child.

Is divorce cheap?

No matter how you do it, a divorce is not cheap. It always costs more than you thought it would. It will turn your financial life painfully upside down regardless of how much or how little money you have and it will affect you for many years.

Is divorce complicated?

Divorce is far more complicated than most people realize, thanks to the divorce industry that makes billions from divorce. 95% of the time, it is not the escape most people imagine it to be. “Jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire,” would be a better description of what really happens.

Is it rare to have friendships after divorce?

Stories of ongoing friendships after a divorce are commonplace in the movies, but the reality is that this is quite rare. Betrayal is hard to swallow for the betrayed. Forgiveness comes only years later, if at all. You married your best friend and then betrayed each other.

Is it wrong to kill your marriage?

It is not the thing that is killing your marriage. Your marriage is dysfunctional due to your and your spouse’s behaviors; both of you, which was caused by incorrect (uneducated) thinking on both your parts. This does not mean morally wrong, but rather behavior and thoughts that are destructive to a marriage.

Can a marriage be saved?

Most marriages can and should be saved. If your marriage can be saved, fighting for your marriage does NOT mean fighting the divorce itself. Like infidelity, the divorce is not the problem; it’s the symptom. It is not the thing that is killing your marriage.

How to choose a divorce attorney?

There are several things to look for when choosing a divorce attorney. You want to choose someone who is experienced, respected, competent, and affordable. If they are proving to not be a good fit though, change them. Because you can, even if the reason is that you don't get on with him or her. Bear in mind however that if an attorney has worked on your case, you'll have to pay her/him for their time. Also, it might damage your case to change attorney's when you are close to a court ordered deadline, so only do it after careful consideration.

How do divorce lawyers save money?

That you'll save money and heartache by being organized. Divorce lawyers often charge by the hour. If you take responsibility for being as organized as possible, not only are you likely to walk away from your marriage with a more acceptable outcome, you'll probably save some money too.

What is mediation in divorce?

Mediation is a process whereby you and your spouse sit down with a neutral third party to negotiate several important areas of divorce. It's a low-cost way to address practically any other disagreement you and your spouse may have. While the mediator's decision is not binding, it allows a neutral party to provide their perspective on how divorce related issues should be addressed. However, mediation can only be a useful tool if you and your spouse can come to an broad agreement.

What does it mean to be uncontested in divorce?

An uncontested divorce means that you and your spouse agree child custody, spousal support, child support, visitation, and division of property. If you find that there is no need to fight over these things, you've already saved yourself thousands of dollars.

What is fault based divorce?

Fault-based divorce is when one spouse committed an act that gives legal justification to the ending of the marriage. These acts include adultery, a felony conviction, cruelty, or desertion.

How to start a divorce?

One of the best and simplest ways to do that is to start a divorce file. In this file, keep every bit of paper that could have an effect on how your divorce proceedings. Gather copies of all important financial documents and access to all account information. Keep it organized and easy to navigate.

What are some secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you?

Below are twenty secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you. 1. It's going to cost more than you bargained for. It's not always the case—but more often than not, the costs associated with your divorce will often be higher than your lawyer's original estimate.

Can you get a Divorce Without a Lawyer?

Yes, you can get a divorce without a lawyer however, it has terms and conditions. What are these conditions? Let me clarify it for you.

How to get a Legal Separation without a Lawyer?

If you are seeking a legal separation, then you should know the difference. Legal separation is not similar to divorce.

How to file for Divorce without a Lawyer?

Filing for a divorce without a lawyer is a better option if you and your spouse agree on the conditions. No worry if you dont know How to apply for divorce without a lawyer.

Getting a Divorce in California without a Lawyer

Getting divorced in California without a lawyer isn’t different. If both spouses agree, mediation divorce is your option. The filling procedure goes through the same steps from filing for the petition to the divorce agreement.

Filing for Divorce in Massachusetts without a Lawyer

If the couple resided in Massachusetts for a year or the reason why your marriage is ended is what happened in Massachusetts. These situations allow you to file for divorce in Massachusetts, although the couple must be from States.

Do I need a Lawyer for Legal Separation?

It’s true that you dont need a lawyer for legal separation. In a legal separation, all you have to do is submit legal separation forms and reach an agreement. All of this is only possible if you and your partners are separating on friendly terms.

What is a Divorce Lawyer called?

I assume you have thought over the conditions mentioned in Can you get a divorce without a lawyer. To be honest, any work without any expert is going to be difficult.

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