what does a lawyer do for children during a divorce?

by Susanna Schroeder 4 min read

A divorce attorney can help a client win child custody during divorce by positioning him or herself as a suitable caregiver for the children. Divorcing parents who wish to avoid the fight that takes place in the court system can have an attorney help them draft a parenting agreement.

The lawyer's job is to tell the court what they think is best for your child--not what is best for either parent. The lawyer is not a social worker, and their main priority is to ensure that the child's needs are being met.

Full Answer

How can a divorce attorney help win child custody during divorce?

A divorce attorney can help a client win child custody during divorce by positioning him or herself as a suitable caregiver for the children. Divorcing parents who wish to avoid the fight that takes place in the court system can have an attorney help them draft a parenting agreement.

How to help a child who is going through a divorce?

Help your child grieve the divorce 1 Listen. Encourage your child to share their feelings and really listen to them. ... 2 Let them be honest. Children might be reluctant to share their true feelings for fear of hurting you. ... 3 Acknowledge their feelings. ...

What is the judge's role in a divorce involving children?

The judge's role in a divorce involving children is to determine what is in the child's best interests. The judge will likely consider your child's needs above your own when it comes to: Keeping the family unit together for siblings, half-siblings, step-siblings, adopted siblings, etc.

What are children's rights in a divorce?

Children’s Rights are listed and explained. They are a great guideline to follow to get a solid grasp of what responsibilities lie ahead as a parent during and post divorce. In a divorce, the parent's coping skills and the child's coping skills are very different.

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What happens to child when parents divorce?

Children from divorced families may experience more externalizing problems, such as conduct disorders, delinquency, and impulsive behavior than kids from two-parent families. 7 In addition to increased behavior problems, children may also experience more conflict with peers after a divorce.

At what age is a child most affected by divorce?

Elementary school age (6–12) This is arguably the toughest age for children to deal with the separation or divorce of their parents.

What should you not say to a lawyer?

Five things not to say to a lawyer (if you want them to take you..."The Judge is biased against me" Is it possible that the Judge is "biased" against you? ... "Everyone is out to get me" ... "It's the principle that counts" ... "I don't have the money to pay you" ... Waiting until after the fact.

Is it better to divorce or stay unhappily married?

A 2002 study found that two-thirds of unhappy adults who stayed together were happy five years later. They also found that those who divorced were no happier, on average, than those who stayed together. In other words, most people who are unhappily married—or cohabiting—end up happy if they stick at it.

Who gets the kids in a divorce?

After a divorce, both partners retain parental responsibility for the children. This also applies when a couple ends their registered partnership, provided the man has acknowledged the child. Both partners remain responsible for raising and caring for the children.

Should you tell your lawyer everything?

It's almost always advisable to tell your lawyer the whole truth about your case, even if you've committed a crime. Giving your lawyer all the facts helps them craft the best defense by raising reasonable doubt. Even when a client admits guilt, there are usually many mitigating circumstances that can come into play.

How do I know if my lawyer is good?

So if you're curious, use these five quick ways to research whether your lawyer is legit:State Bar Profile. Every lawyer who is licensed to practice law in your home state must be listed in your state bar association's directory. ... Google / Search Engines. ... Yelp. ... The Attorney's Own Website. ... Third-Party Rating Groups.

What you should know before you talk to a lawyer?

10 Things You Should Know Before Contacting a LawyerHave Your Documents Ready. ... Research the Elements of Your Case. ... Don't Call if You Just Have a Question. ... You May Not Speak to a Lawyer Right Away. ... Do Not Ask the Legal Support Staff for Advice. ... Don't Provide Too Much Information. ... Answer the Lawyer's Specific Questions.More items...•

Step 1: Informing Your Children

This is not an easy thing to do. Regardless of how you and your spouse feel about each other, this really makes it official. This is the first of many times you will need to put aside any hard feelings and sit down with the children as their mother and father, not husband and wife.

Step 2: Q&A

Once the children know what is happening, allow them to ask questions. This is an opportunity to be as upfront as possible about what is going on so the children know the divorce has nothing to do with them, but that it is problems with the relationship of mom and dad. You do not want to lie, but there is also no need to go into sordid details.

Step 3: Lifestyle Changes

In most cases, one parent will be leaving the home during the divorce process. It may even be necessary for financial reasons to sell the family home and move out altogether. These are things the children should know. Again, it simply gives them time to adjust. Be very open about which parent is leaving and the expected visitation schedule.

Step 4: Get Their Input

Allowing the children to have some say in the matter can be very helpful during these early stages, assuming the children are old enough to have a reasonable say in such matters.

Step 5: Remain in Contact

One parent will obviously not be in the home on a daily basis, but this does not mean that parent should become an absentee mom or dad. Now, more than ever, it is important to have some type of contact with the children on a daily basis.

Step 6: No Blame Game

At this point, the kids will be spending a lot of time individually with parents. If the divorce gets nasty, it is only natural to want to vent to someone, just do not do it to or in earshot of the children. Complaining about your soon-to-be ex around the children will go one of two ways, and neither result is desirable.

Step 7: Know the Trouble Signs

The statistics say more children will face some type of issue at some point during or after the divorce than children that will not. It is important to know the signs of problems so these problems can be addressed before this trouble behavior becomes a real problem and negatively affects the future of your child.

Can I Get an Uncontested Divorce If I Have Kids?

You can get an uncontested divorce with children if you and your ex-partner both agree on:

How to divorce a child?

The judge's role in a divorce involving children is to determine what is in the child's best interests. The judge will likely consider your child's needs above your own when it comes to: 1 Keeping the family unit together for siblings, half-siblings, step-siblings, adopted siblings, etc. 2 Assigning a co-parenting schedule or child custody schedule that favors one parent above the other (most courts presume 50/50 child custody) 3 Selecting higher or lower child support than you predicted 4 Reconsidering custody or financial orders if you or your ex-spouse are remarried or have other children 5 Choosing the most stable environment between two homes 6 Limiting changes for your child (such as keeping them at the same school or home)

How to appeal a court order?

If you disagree with the court order, there are ways to appeal the decision. Similarly, if anything substantial changes in your life that will affect custody or child support, you can ask the court to change the order by filing (with the court) a motion to modify child support or child custody.

What to do if your child is in danger?

If your children face harm, you can ask the judge for an emergency custody hearing and temporary orders to protect them.

What happens if mediation is unsuccessful?

If mediation is unsuccessful or not required, and you cannot agree on your own, your case will go to a hearing in front of a judge. You will have a chance to present your side. The judge may ask mental health experts to weigh in on what is best for your child, and they may even have a guardian ad litem represent your child's interests.

How old do you have to be to get custody of a child?

There are times when your children will be directly involved in the proceedings. This varies depending on the child's age and state. Some states allow children as young as 12 to state which parent they want to live with, and many courts will let even young children offer an opinion on questions of custody.

What is the job of a divorce lawyer?

An experienced divorce lawyer can advise you on the best ways to help your kid's new life feel stable (such as keeping the family home) while ensuring they are provided for. Your county judge's job is to make sure your child's best interests are top of mind for everyone.

How can a divorce lawyer help a child?

A divorce attorney can help a client win child custody during divorce by positioning him or herself as a suitable caregiver for the children. Divorcing parents who wish to avoid the fight that takes place in the court system can have an attorney help them draft a parenting agreement. In fact, most child custody cases are settled before court ...

What happens to a spouse when they get divorced?

Spouses must deal with many issues when they get divorced but few have the potential to be as contentious as child custody does. Child custody during divorce is one of the most stressful times in a persons life. If a parent does not try to get parental rights, he or she will have restricted time with the children for the remainder of their youth.

How to settle a custody dispute with a judge?

If parents are successful in settling their custody dispute out of court, they still need to have the approval of a judge before the agreement can be finalized. Once the agreement has been written, it is reviewed by a judge for final approval. If the agreement is part of the couple’s divorce proceedings, it needs to be filed with the court in the county in which the divorce petition was filed. Once this has been filed, an informal court hearing may be held for the judge to ask the parents basic questions regarding the child custody agreement and get any needed clarification before approval.

What happens if you don't get joint custody?

However, when a party is not granted joint custody during divorce, there are significant decisions that will only be made by one parent, and this can result in the noncustodial parent not being able to have input on things such as education and doctors visits.

What happens if a parent doesn't get parental rights?

If a parent does not try to get parental rights, he or she will have restricted time with the children for the remainder of their youth. Even worse, both custody and visitation may be stripped, preventing the parent from seeing the children until they are no longer minors. Protecting your rights to winning child custody during your divorce begins ...

What happens if one parent violates a parenting agreement?

If one parent violates this agreement, the other may go to court to resolve the issue by enforcing the agreement.

What is alternative dispute resolution?

Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) is another option that parents can use to reach a custody settlement. ADR is a more involved process that may include mediation or collaborative law to come to a final agreement. ADR may be a better option for parents depending on the degree of the dispute they are dealing with and the parents’ willingness to work together to resolve their custody issues. Some of the options available to parents who use ADR include the following:

Why is it so hard to get sole custody in divorce?

It can be more difficult to win sole custody in divorce because the petitioning parent must prove that the other parent is an unfit caregiver. Sole custody is typically only awarded when one parent is abusive, neglectful, or has a substance issue.

Can you get custody of a child if you don't agree with the other?

When parents cannot agree, they should head to court. If both parents want to win custody during divorce but one does not agree that the other should have it, each should have a divorce attorney prepare a solid case for joint custody. These days, courts are more willing to award joint physical custody of children during divorce, allowing children to split time between their parents.

Who is Nicholas Baker?

Nicholas Baker is a practicing family law attorney with over 15-years of experience handling divorce, child custody, child support, and domestic violence matters in the courtroom. Attorney Nicholas Baker believes in providing family law information for individuals so that they can make an informed decision about their own family law matter.

What are the reactions of a divorced child?

Although strong feelings can be tough on kids, the following reactions are normal for children following divorce. Anger. Your kids may express their anger, rage, and resentment with you and your spouse for destroying their sense of normalcy. Anxiety.

What does it feel like to be separated from your parents?

A separation or divorce is a highly stressful and emotional experience for everyone involved, but children often feel that their whole world has turned upside down. At any age, it can be traumatic to witness the dissolution of your parents’ marriage and the breakup of the family. Kids may feel shocked, uncertain, or angry.

What is the first safety instruction for an airplane emergency?

The first safety instruction for an airplane emergency is to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on your child. When it comes to helping your kids through your divorce, the take home message is: take care of yourself so that you can be there for your kids.

How to cope with divorce?

Exercise relieves the pent-up stress and frustration that’s commonplace with divorce. And although cooking at home (or learning to cook for one) involves more effort than ordering in, eating healthfully will make you feel better, inside and out—so skip the junk and convenience food. See friends often.

What do kids believe about divorce?

Many kids believe that they had something to do with the divorce, recalling times they argued with their parents, received poor grades, or got in trouble. To help your kids let go of this misconception:

What does it mean to maintain routine?

Maintaining routine also means continuing to observe rules, rewards, and discipline with your children. Resist the temptation to spoil kids during a divorce by not enforcing limits or allowing them to break rules.

How to explain separation?

As much as you can, try to agree in advance on an explanation for your separation or divorce—and stick to it. Plan your conversations. Make plans to talk with your children before any changes in the living arrangements occur. And plan to talk when your spouse is present, if possible. Show restraint.

What is mediation in divorce?

When filing for divorce, a Statement of Arrangements has also to be filed, giving details of the proposed arrangements for the children.

What are the responsibilities of a parent?

Parental responsibility#N#Parental responsibility means that you are both responsible for the following but this list is by no means complete: 1 protecting and maintaining your child 2 naming the child -choosing the school 3 making sure he goes to school from age 5 to 16 4 making sure they receive medical treatment 5 appointing a guardian to act after death 6 applying for a passport 7 representing the child 8 deciding where he is to live 9 choosing the child's religion etc.

What is parental responsibility?

Parental responsibility means that you are both responsible for the following but this list is by no means complete: protecting and maintaining your child. naming the child -choosing the school. making sure he goes to school from age 5 to 16. making sure they receive medical treatment.

What is the Children Act 1989?

The Children Act 1989 says that the child's welfare is the most important consideration. The old word 'access' has been replaced by contact. This can refer to contact by letter, phone and actual visits. 'Custody' has been replaced by residence. The Act describes parental responsibility rather than parents' rights.

How long do you have to attend a court meeting?

You are both usually requested to attend a meeting with the Judge four to ten weeks after applying for a court order. Your solicitors generally attend too.

How long does a parent have to pay for a child?

A parent has financial responsibility for the child until he reaches the age of 17 or leaves full-time education, whichever is the later. There is no 'clean break' (an end to providing financial support) between parents and children. This is the law.

What is the child's feelings and wishes?

the child's feelings and wishes, depending on his age and understanding. the physical, emotional and educational needs of the child. the likely effect of any changes in his circumstances. the age, sex and background and any characteristics which the Court considers relevant.

How does divorce affect a child's life?

In a divorce, the parent's coping skills and the child's coping skills are very different. Throughout the divorce and its aftermath, the parent must nurture and love a child going through a very difficult experience. Adolescence in particular is a time for someone to grow as a person; it is not a time a teenager to be freighted with the woes and worries associated with divorcing parents. A child's self-esteem does not have to be diminished by divorce, but can actually be strengthened; however, it takes hard work by both parents to build that healthy environment.

What are the biggest mistakes parents make when facing divorce?

This is one of the biggest mistakes parents make when facing divorce. The responsibility of being a parent has never been more vital. Children need and deserve both parents. Children in the midst of a divorce have the court to legally look out for their best interests.

What to do after divorce about child care?

If, after the divorce, necessary conversation about child care becomes too heated, it might be wise to continue it on a later date. Both parents must respect and encourage the child's relationship with the other parent. Former spouses should schedule regular meetings to discuss parenting issues.

Why is it called discretionary?

The key word in the phrase is discretionary because judges have a great deal of latitude in making decisions.

What is the Bill of Rights for Children?

With this in mind, here is one version of a Children's Rights Bill of Rights, which are considered in some jurisdictions in custody decisions held to the standard of the best interest of the children: Children have the right to spend time with each parent. They need both parents in order to develop emotionally.

What is a child's right to care?

A child is not a miniature adult but a unique human being with unique feelings, ideas, and desires. While each child has a right to continuing care and proper guidance from each parent -- a parent's love -- he or she also has a right not to be unduly influenced by either parent to view the other parent differently. A child needs to express love and respect for both parents in freedom and without shame.

What does each partner need to remember?

Each partner must remember that the other partner also loves the child, and each partner should express and/ or show appreciation towards one another as even the simplest comment or action can create a stronger and more effective partnership.

What is child custody during divorce?

Child custody during divorce is one of the most heated topics in all of the law – understanding the important factors that go into deciding who gets the kids during divorce is essential to winning the child custody rights you deserve! When a couple gets divorced and there are children involved, one of the major points of ...

What happens when a couple gets divorced and there are children involved?

When a couple gets divorced and there are children involved, one of the major points of the settlement is who gets child custody during divorce. You may want to leave your spouse, but few want to have their children taken away from them permanently.

What is the relationship between a child and a parent after divorce?

The courts will interview the children and if they are old enough (usually 12 and older), the courts will ask the children which parent they would prefer to live with after the divorce.

Can a parent win custody of a child during divorce?

These are all factors in which parent will win custody during divorce. Knowing the important factors that can help you fight for custody of your children is the first step to winning a child custody battle during divorce! The next step, the most important step, is speaking with one of our expert family law attorneys right away!

Who determines if there is sole or joint custody?

If the parents have not already come to a joint custody agreement, it is up to the mediator or judge to determine if there will be sole or joint custody when the divorce proceedings have concluded.

Can you bring up alcohol abuse with your spouse?

If you have a history of alcohol or drug abuse, you can expect it to be brought up by your spouse during proceedings. The same can be said for any serious health conditions that could jeopardize the care of the children. Existing Relationship – there needs to be a healthy relationship in place with the child.

Is being employed full time a benefit?

While being employed full time is a benefit, you do need to avoid the “workaholic” status. The courts want you to be there for your child, not working 100 hours a week and allowing a nanny to raise the kids.

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