what do you get when you cross a lawyer and a farmer

What did the lawyer say to the farmhand?

A farmhand consulted a lawyer. He had long tended the late farmer's cows, and believed they would his when the farmer died. Now the farmer's son claimed ownership. "I'll take your case," said the lawyer, "Don't worry about the cows."

What does the lawyer ask the Butcher to do?

Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today."

Do I need a lawyer?

After looking around and talking to enough attorneys or law students, you may decide that you do need a lawyer – and the more you look around, you may find one who will work with you on a small budget. It's worth asking around because you may find that the fees aren't as high as you fear, especially if you can get them capped.

What does the lawyer do when he is frustrated?

The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows.

How to Work with USDA to Start a Farm

Your first step should be to contact your USDA Service Center and make an appointment. Be sure to ask what documents you’ll need. Also consider -- what is your vision for your land and farm? What are your challenges?

Specialty Farmer Groups

We offer help for the unique concerns of producers who meet the USDA definition of “historically underserved” -- beginning, socially disadvantaged, limited resource, and military veterans. In addition, women in agriculture are helping to pave the way for a better future.

USDA Support for Beginning Farmers

Watch Joshua Eilers, a beginning and military veteran farmer from Austin, Texas talk about his experience getting started in the cattle business through USDA support.

Get Involved

In addition to our farm programs, there are many leadership opportunities for beginning farmers to contribute their voices and experience. Through USDA, you can take advantage of several key opportunities like committee elections, research and promotion programs, and federal advisory committees.

Find Your Local Service Center

We are committed to delivering USDA services to America’s farmers and ranchers while taking safety measures in response to the pandemic. Some USDA offices are beginning to reopen to limited visitors by appointment only. Service Center staff also continue to work with agricultural producers via phone, email, and other digital tools.

How much did the attorneys charge for the shoddy work?

According to the AP, the attorneys charged $27 million for three months of shoddy work. In other words, an unprecedented 34% of the recovered sum would be paid to legal fees. The situation was improved somewhat by a judge, who rejected and withheld about $7 million in fees.

Is it justifiable to spend big bucks on litigation?

Like a sick person, a company facing litigation is willing to spend big bucks to get out of a trouble. It's entirely justifiable, and lawyers are only too happy to oblige, billing clients for every minute worked, and then some.

What to do when your spouse is lawyered up?

Once your spouse has lawyered up, you need to hire an experienced attorney, who can explain your rights and responsibilities, use specialized knowledge to advocate on your behalf, and obtain the best possible result for you and your family.

How to handle a divorce case?

You'll need to decide whether: you can handle your own divorce case through a do-it-yourself (DIY) method. you want to try mediation (with or without an attorney) to resolve disputed issues, or. you need to hire an attorney to represent you through settlement and/or in court. There are a few factors to consider when deciding which divorce path is ...

What to do if your spouse is hiding assets?

Or, if you believe your spouse is actively hiding assets or wasting marital funds, you should contact an attorney to protect your interests.

What happens if one spouse uses marital funds to rack up gambling debt?

For example, if one spouse used marital funds to rack up gambling debt or to take trips and buy gifts for an adulterous affair, a judge will usually assign these debts to the "guilty" spouse and order that the "innocent" spouse be reimbursed. If you and your spouse have very little property or debt to divide or if you can agree on ...

What happens if parents can't agree on a child's best interests?

When parents can't agree on these issues, they will either have to go to mediation to try and come to an agreement or they will end up in court asking a judge to decide for them.

Is family law a specialized field?

Family law is a specialized field and a simple mistake on your paperwork can have life-long ramifications or unintended consequences. Because the stakes are so high and personal in a divorce, it's best not to try and take on an experienced family law attorney. Once your spouse has lawyered up, you need to hire an experienced attorney, ...

Can a divorce mediator work?

If you and your spouse disagree about any of your divorce-related issues, mediation might be a good option; it can work even when divorcing spouses clash on meaningful issues. Sometimes spouses are able to work with a mediator and otherwise handle their case themselves.

What happens if you can't afford a lawyer?

In a criminal proceeding, if you can't afford legal assistance, a court will appoint an attorney for you. In a civil case, generally described as a dispute between two private parties, to get legal representation, you have to get creative. Here's how to find legal help if you can't afford a lawyer:

What is legal aid?

Legal aid societies are nonprofit organizations found in almost every corner of the country that provide free legal services to low-income people. While this is certainly worth exploring, the problem for many households is that the individual or couple makes too much money to qualify for help.

What time does the Akron Bar Association answer legal questions?

The Akron Bar Association, in Akron, Ohio, is an example of what's out there. You can call the second and fourth Fridays of each month from 9 to 11 a.m., as part of their Ask an Attorney Service, and they'll answer legal questions for free.

What happens if you lose a case?

That is, if you lose your case, you won't pay money, but if you win, the law firm will take a portion of the money awarded to you. However, it's important to tread carefully before picking a lawyer. Choose a reputable attorney and make sure the rate is agreed upon before the lawyer takes your case.

Can a lawyer represent you on contingency?

It's risky for lawyers to take cases on contingency, and they need to be confident a judge or jury will side with you, and that there's going to be something sizable awarded to you. While no legal expert will suggest you represent yourself, it is an option if you're in a financial bind.

Do attorneys give discounts?

An attorney might give you a discount. Also, many attorneys offer payment plans, so that you're paying monthly instead of one huge sum all at once. Of course, you could hit the jackpot and find a pro bono lawyer, or you might find someone willing to take your case on contingency.

What to do if you lost money because of a lawyer?

If you lost money because of the way your lawyer handled your case, consider suing for malpractice. Know, however, that it is not an easy task. You must prove two things:

What to do if your lawyer doesn't work?

If that doesn't work, as a last resort you may need to sue your lawyer in small claims court, asking the court for money to compensate you for what you've spent on redoing work in the file or trying to get the file.

What is the agency responsible for licensing and disciplining lawyers?

Every state has an agency responsible for licensing and disciplining lawyers. In most states, it's the bar association; in others, the state supreme court. The agency is most likely to take action if your lawyer has failed to pay you money that you won in a settlement or lawsuit, made some egregious error such as failing to show up in court, didn't do legal work you paid for, committed a crime, or has a drug or alcohol abuse problem.

What is the defense of a lawyer who is sued for malpractice?

A common defense raised by attorneys sued for malpractice is that the client waited too long to sue. And because this area of the law can be surprisingly complicated and confusing, there's often plenty of room for argument. Legal malpractice cases are expensive to pursue, so do some investigating before you dive in.

What to do if your lawyer is unresponsive?

If the lawyer is unresponsive and the matter involves a lawsuit, go to the courthouse and look at your case file, which contains all the papers that have actually been filed with the court. If you've hired a new lawyer, ask her for help in getting your file. Also, ask your state bar association for assistance.

What happens if a lawyer doesn't return phone calls?

A lawyer who doesn't return phone calls or communicate with you for an extended period of time may be guilty of abandoning you -- a violation of attorneys' ethical obligations. But that's for a bar association to determine (if you register a complaint), and it won't do you much good in the short term.

Where to go if you are not satisfied with your lawyer?

If you're not satisfied with your lawyer's strategy decisions or with the arguments the lawyer has been making on your behalf, you may even want to go to the law library and do some reading to educate yourself about your legal problem.