should i hire a lawyer when wife says shes filing for divorce

by Mr. Kristopher Hoppe IV 9 min read

Should I hire a lawyer for my divorce?

It’s easy for you, your spouse, or both of you to get angry and even emotionally distraught during the divorce process. Simply handing the responsibility for handling your divorce to your divorce lawyer might seem like a welcome relief. However, it might actually complicate things for you more than simplify them.

Can I share a divorce attorney with my spouse?

However, in certain complex divorce cases, you’d be wise to seek legal counsel. Can I Share a Divorce Attorney With My Spouse? Divorce attorneys can’t represent both spouses in a divorce.

Do I need a lawyer for a contested divorce?

You may even have to present your cases in front of a judge. If you and your spouse are getting a contested divorce, you should hire a divorce lawyer. A lawyer will know what your rights are in your specific situation and can help you reach the best possible agreement with your spouse.

Do I need a lawyer for a high-asset divorce?

It’s wise to get your own lawyer if you have a high-asset divorce or complex finances. An experienced attorney will request documents and do the research necessary to get an accurate picture of your spouse’s finances. Ultimately, that information can lead to a fairer division of assets.

What should you do when your wife tells you she wants a divorce?

What to Do If Your Spouse Wants a DivorceAct as though you will move forward with confidence. ... Allow your spouse to come to you with questions or concerns. ... Be your best self. ... Behave respectfully toward your spouse. ... Don't engage in arguments. ... Get help. ... Give your spouse some space. ... Keep busy.More items...•

How do you protect yourself when your wife wants a divorce?

5 Helpful Tips to Protect Yourself When Your Spouse Files for...Hire An Attorney. You may not know that you are not actually required to litigate a divorce. ... Cancel Joint Credit Cards. ... Keep Tight Records. ... Don't Sign Anything. ... Choose Your Words Carefully. ... Protect Yourself.

What a woman should ask for in a divorce settlement?

A detailed parenting-time schedule—including holidays! It's in your best interest, and more importantly in the best interest of the children, that you have a detailed schedule in an attempt to avoid issues down the road. This parenting-time schedule is an extremely important thing to ask for in a divorce settlement.

What happens financially in a divorce?

Divorce can create financial insecurity, especially if you depend on your spouse's income to cover household and personal expenses. Most states permit dependent spouses to request financial support—sometimes called maintenance or alimony—during and after the divorce, but in no state is receiving alimony a guarantee.

What should you not do during separation?

5 Mistakes To Avoid During Your SeparationKeep it private. The second you announce you're getting a divorce, everyone will have an opinion. ... Don't leave the house. ... Don't pay more than your share. ... Don't jump into a rebound relationship. ... Don't put off the inevitable.

Why moving out is the biggest mistake in a divorce?

You Can Damage Your Child Custody Claim One of the most significant ways moving out can influence your divorce is when it comes to child custody. If you move out, it means you don't spend as much time with your kids. Not only can this harm your relationship, but it can also damage your custody claim.

Who loses more in a divorce?

Marriage is connected to a longer lifespan for both men and women. While both genders see a rise in deaths following divorce, the rate for men is 1,773 per 100,000, compared to 1,096 for women.

How much does a divorce lawyer cost?

On average, couples pay $5,000 - $10,000 in divorce costs for amicable divorces.

What to do when your spouse is lawyered up?

Once your spouse has lawyered up, you need to hire an experienced attorney, who can explain your rights and responsibilities, use specialized knowledge to advocate on your behalf, and obtain the best possible result for you and your family.

How to handle a divorce case?

You'll need to decide whether: you can handle your own divorce case through a do-it-yourself (DIY) method. you want to try mediation (with or without an attorney) to resolve disputed issues, or. you need to hire an attorney to represent you through settlement and/or in court. There are a few factors to consider when deciding which divorce path is ...

What to do if your spouse is hiding assets?

Or, if you believe your spouse is actively hiding assets or wasting marital funds, you should contact an attorney to protect your interests.

What happens if one spouse uses marital funds to rack up gambling debt?

For example, if one spouse used marital funds to rack up gambling debt or to take trips and buy gifts for an adulterous affair, a judge will usually assign these debts to the "guilty" spouse and order that the "innocent" spouse be reimbursed. If you and your spouse have very little property or debt to divide or if you can agree on ...

What is collaborative divorce?

With collaborative divorce, you and your spouse must both hire attorneys who are specially trained in collaborative law, and you have to commit to avoiding court. This process can be expensive, so it's important to do some research and learn all you can about collaborative divorce before you choose this path.

Why does a divorce take longer to resolve?

Fault cases typically take longer to resolve in court because you have to provide admissible evidence and prove to a judge the misconduct occurred and that it caused the divorce.

What happens if parents can't agree on a child's best interests?

When parents can't agree on these issues, they will either have to go to mediation to try and come to an agreement or they will end up in court asking a judge to decide for them.

What is the best way to get divorced?

Mediation involves a neutral attorney who helps couples reach an agreement in a divorce. The mediator doesn’t represent either spouse and can’t give legal advice. Instead, mediators help couples identify the issues that need to be resolved and create an agreement that comports with the law.

What to do if you can't agree on custody of your child?

If you have children and you can't agree on a custody arrangement with your spouse, you should hire an attorney to help you sort this out. There are many factors that go into a custody decision. An attorney who understands the law can help you be successful in the custody process.

Can a couple have one attorney for divorce?

Under limited circumstances, a couple can use one attorney to resolve their divorce. Specifically, couples who’ve already resolved their asset, debt division, and custody issues may want to hire one attorney to draft up a divorce agreement. But, the spouse who hires or “retains” the lawyer is the lawyer’s client.

Can a divorce lawyer represent you?

But, the spouse who hires or “retains” the lawyer is the lawyer’s client. If you are the unrepresented spouse, be aware that the lawyer preparing the divorce agreement doesn’t represent you and cannot give you legal advice. One attorney may be enough for couples with simple divorces, but make sure you understand your legal rights if you’re ...

Can I share my divorce attorney with my spouse?

Can I Share a Divorce Attorney With My Spouse? Divorce attorneys can’t represent both spouses in a divorce. If your spouse asks you to split the legal bill, don’t do it. An attorney hired by your spouse can’t serve your interests too.

Can you argue divorce in court?

Mediation is confidential and even if you and your spouse don’t reach an agreement, you can still argue your divorce in court. The major drawback of mediation is that a mediator can’t advise you if you’re making a good decision – only your own attorney can.

What to do if your spouse is resisting divorce?

Maybe one spouse is resisting divorce completely and refuses to discuss terms. A contested divorce involves negotiations between you and your spouse. You may even have to present your cases in front of a judge. If you and your spouse are getting a contested divorce, you should hire a divorce lawyer. A lawyer will know what your rights are in your ...

What to do if you don't have a good relationship with your spouse?

In addition, if you and your spouse do not have a good relationship and you think there is a possibility that an uncontested divorce can quickly develop into a series of difficult issues, it is a good idea to talk to an attorney.

Why is divorce contested?

Another reason a divorce may be contested is because one spouse wants to prove fault grounds for the divorce. Most divorces are no-fault; you don’t have to explain the reason for your divorce. But a fault divorce occurs when one spouse proves that the marriage fell apart because of the actions of the other spouse.

What to do if your spouse is proving fault?

If you or your spouse intends to prove fault grounds, you should get a lawyer. Your lawyer can help you support your claim with evidence if you are proving fault grounds. If your spouse wants to establish that the divorce is your fault, a lawyer can help you defend against their claim.

Can my spouse hire an attorney?

Your spouse has hired an attorney. If your spouse hires an attorney, you should also seriously consider hiring an attorney to avoid any disadvantage. In addition, if you and your spouse do not have a good relationship and you think there is ...

What to do before divorce without a lawyer?

Besides, there are some measures that are needed to be fully considered before taking a divorce without a lawyer like, talk with your spouse about any future problems that might incur related to your marriage, what to do in case one of the partners decides to marry someone else.

When do you need a lawyer?

When can a lawyer be needed? In most cases, a lawyer is involved when the couple has children so that a mutual agreement could be made between both the partners. Moreover, when there are shared marital assets to be divided, then a legal process is mandatory to make sure that each partner gets an equal and fair share.

What is required for a divorce to be completed?

Further, for a divorce proceeding to be completed, a lot of paperwork is required by both the partners. This can be perfectly done with the guidance of a lawyer. There are so many things that you may not know, but a lawyer does.

Can you get divorced if you have not been married for a long time?

So, there is nothing to be divided amongst the partners that are filing for the divorce. Also, you can go for an easy divorce when it has not been very long since you got married.

What happens if you forget to file a divorce complaint?

If you forget to file an answer on time, your spouse may get everything requested in the complaint, such as alimony, custody, and certain items of property. Initially, you’ll want to take a couple of days to review the divorce paperwork and then decide how you want to respond.

Is it embarrassing to get divorce papers?

Moreover, it can be embarrassing if you were served with divorce papers at work, in front of coworkers, or at home, among friends or family. As distraught as you may feel, it’s important to stay calm and read the paperwork carefully. You may not understand everything in the divorce petition, but there are a few key issues to focus on ...

Can you be surprised when your spouse files for divorce?

You may have seen it coming for a while, or you may be surprised when your spouse files for divorce. Getting served with divorce papers can be overwhelming and may evo ke a range of emotions, from shock to sadness. Moreover, it can be embarrassing if you were served with divorce papers at work , in front of coworkers, or at home, among friends or family.

What is the relationship between an attorney and a client?

Part of the attorney-client relationship is trust. Your wife must trust her lawyer, just as you must trust yours. But your wife can be misled by false promises that, somehow, the expert on her side can turn her adultery into her victimhood.

Can a woman hire a divorce lawyer?

Your wife may hire a divorce lawyer catering to women, but the law really does not cater to anyone. Code of Virginia is the same for a man named Ashley; a woman named Cameron; a transgender person named Drew; or Hunter, inscrutable purchaser of unisex clothes. The laws are written to apply to both parties in civil cases.

Why do divorce attorneys work hard?

Divorce attorneys work hard to achieve favorable and fair results for their clients. Good clients appreciate the effort, even if things don't always work out the way they hoped. Many clients are never happy, win or lose, and are not afraid to let their attorney know it.

When should an attorney contact you?

Your attorney will contact you when he/she needs something from you. There are periods in every case where nothing is going on and there is down time. Your attorney should give you periodic updates on the status of things and it's ok to check in yourself, but daily calls are unnecessary and only run up your bill.

What should an attorney tell you?

Here are five things your attorney really wants to tell you, but doesn't because he wants to maintain the relationship and keep you as a client. You're better off knowing this though because it will influence your relationship with your lawyer and the value he/she provides to you. Advertisement. 1. You call too often.

Why do I get divorced?

If I had to bet, I would say that one of the reasons you are getting divorced, or already divorced is because of conflicts with your spouse over parenting. It's very common and one of the more stressful phases of a divorce.

What happens when you retain a lawyer?

When you retain a lawyer, whether for a divorce or another issue, the lawyer is ethically charged with holding what you say to him/her as confidential.

Do attorneys charge hourly?

Most attorneys charge on an hourly basis, which is stated in your retainer agreement. Clients pay for an attorney's time. Your attorney is not your therapist, although I play one on t.v. I always tell clients I will talk to you as long as you want, but don't be surprised when you get the bill.

Do divorce attorneys get paid?

Attorneys are not free. They get paid for provide you with their time, knowledge and services. Now, it's often the case in a divorce that money is tight and most attorneys are sensitive to this, but they have to pay their bills too and can't work for free. You can't expect them to work for free.

What happens if a spouse refuses to answer questions under oath?

If a spouse fails to turn over documents or refuses to answer questions under oath, the spouse can be sanctioned.

Why is divorce so sad?

It is sad, because people seek a divorce for many reasons - power and control being one of them. For example, let’s say one spouse has controlled all the money. Then, when it comes time to divide money, and set child support and maintenance, the spouse who has traditionally exercised power and control simply exercises power ...

What happens if you control your spouse's money?

In other words, if you are the spouse that has controlled the marital funds, you may be accused of vindictiveness or wrongdoing, when in fact, you have done nothing wrong. Sometimes the person who handles the money is simply acting reasonably and responsibly. The problem may boil down to perspective.

Is it a good idea to hire a divorce attorney?

However, if the issues with money persist and lead to a breakdown of the marriage such that you have considered filing for a divorce, then it is a really good idea to hire a divorce attorney to help you. First, money problems can come in many forms. It may be that your spouse is spending too much money.

Can I hire someone after divorce?

When it is fair and equitable and in the best interest of children. Yes, you can hire me after you file for divorce, and yes, you can hire me after your divorce is final and when you want to go back to Court to modify orders to make them more fair, but when you delay, you are already behind. It is like a marathon.

Is it permissible to hearsay a felony?

At this type of hearing, hearsay is permissible.