my gf is a lawyer and doesnt understand how to take care of me

by Federico Lynch 6 min read

What does it feel like to be a lawyer?

Lawyers lead notoriously busy lives and work notoriously long hours, so you better get used to ready meals for one. 2. The constant, grinding stress When your better half finally does manage to break free from the chains of target billable hours — for a few hours away — expect them to take the stresses of work home with them.

What should I do if I'm Not satisfied with my lawyer?

If you're not satisfied with your lawyer's strategy decisions or with the arguments the lawyer has been making on your behalf, you may even want to go to the law library and do some reading to educate yourself about your legal problem. If you've got serious doubts about how your case is being handled, see a second attorney.

Does my girlfriend care about me if I stop being available?

If, like Chad, you let your relationship get to the point of predictability and being always available, it’s quite likely that your girlfriend will not care about you so much.

Why does my girlfriend put me on the offence?

By subconsciously presenting you with an uncaring dispostion, your girlfriend is putting you on the offensive. If you fall into her trap, you will upset her and push her away. It is important that you flag her actions as a test and act accordingly. Gut reactions are often knee jerk responses and are wrong.

What is stonewalling in a relationship?

What does it mean to stonewall someone? In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or refuses to interact with another person.

What is stonewalling and Gaslighting?

When someone is being frequently dismissed or ignored, they can begin to devalue themselves which leads to feelings of being helpless, worthless and powerless. This is a natural response particularly as stonewalling is considered a form of gaslighting.

When should one give up on a relationship?

The key is never giving up. If you feel you've fallen short with communicating or being present in a family member's life, you don't just end that relationship. If you have a quality person in your life that you love and care about, it's best to try and figure out if there's potential to salvage the relationship.

How do you deal with stonewalling in a relationship?

Ask for a break during conflicts. Stonewalling is often a result of feeling overwhelmed. ... Acknowledge that you are not the “fixer' in the relationship. ... Lead with empathy. ... Trust yourself. ... Prioritize self-care. ... Talk to a professional at Relish.

What is narcissistic stonewalling?

Narcissist Stonewalling Stonewalling is the refusal to communicate with someone. This means that your spouse refuses to listen to you and your concerns. Stonewalling is one of the most prevalent narcissistic abuse techniques.

What is belittling behavior?

The definition of “belittle” can be easily surmised from the two words that it is made up of, “be” and “little.” Said another way, belittling is language or behavior that literally makes someone feel small, unimportant, inferior or minimized.

What are the signs that a relationship is over?

6 Signs a Relationship Is Over, According to an ExpertThere's No Emotional Connection.Physical Intimacy Doesn't Appeal to You Anymore.It's Hard to Agree on Anything.Someone Else Seems More Appealing.The Trust Is Gone.Your Goals Don't Align.

How do you know when a woman is giving up on you?

So here are some easy-to-miss signs that your partner may be giving up on the relationship, according to experts.They Spend More Time Alone Than Before. ... They Become Evasive When You Ask Simple Questions. ... They Way They Speak To You Changes. ... There Are A Lot Of Awkward Silences. ... Your Fights Have Changed.More items...•

When to call it quits in a relationship?

If there is no more active investment in your relationship, it could be a sign that one or both of you have already subconsciously made the decision to call it quits. Interviewing divorce lawyers or speaking to real estate agents to “keep your options open” likely means that you don't really want your options open.

What is gaslighting in a relationship?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse in relationships. It happens when one person convinces their target that they're remembering things wrong or that they're misinterpreting events. The gaslighter is trying to manipulate the other person and presents their own thoughts and feelings as the truth.

Is gaslighting emotional abuse?

Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that makes you question your beliefs and perception of reality. Over time, this type of manipulation can wear down your self-esteem and self-confidence, leaving you dependent on the person gaslighting you.

How do narcissists respond to stonewalling?

The person stonewalling you wants you to get emotional, and if you don't give them that pleasure, the person who is stonewalling may end up backing off from it. If someone stone walls, one response is to be diplomatic. Say you're willing to talk it out. Make it about them, or make it about you, but don't aggressive.

How to get your attorney's attention?

The best, most unobtrusive way to start getting your attorney’s attention is by sending them an email. Lawyers regularly check their emails, so it is a good way to see if someone from their office will respond to you. If your attorney does not reply via email, then you should call their office.

What are the concerns of hiring a lawyer?

Competency problems. Ethical concerns. Any of these areas can cause major concerns for people who have hired a lawyer to help protect their personal interests. If you have these types of concerns about your attorney, then you must be proactive about protecting your well-being, and proving your side of the case.

What to do if your attorney does not reply to email?

If your attorney does not reply via email, then you should call their office. A phone call is more direct and personal than an email. Since you speak to your lawyer over the telephone, you should be able to better gauge why they have not followed through with activities that you feel are important.

How to be proactive in a relationship with an attorney?

To be proactive from the beginning of your relationship with your attorney, the first thing that you can do is to let them know your concrete expectations. Some lawyers and clients will sign a contract with one another about expected fees, timetables, and the availability of the lawyer.

What are the problems with lawyers?

People have problems with their lawyers for a variety of reasons, but some of the main issues involve: 1 Fee conflicts 2 Issues involving communication or neglect 3 Competency problems 4 Ethical concerns

How to get your point across to your lawyer?

Sending a letter is another good way to get your point across to your lawyer. In the letter, you may want to state a specific date that you expect to hear from them, or that you want them to complete something. While going through the stages of a divorce, there are several deadlines that your lawyer will need to meet.

What happens when you file a complaint against a lawyer?

Once someone files a complaint about a particular lawyer with a governing board (such as the boards mentioned above), then an investigation occurs regarding the practice of that lawyer. The case is typically handed over to a grievance committee that reviews lawyers’ work and ethics.

If You Feel: My Lawyer is Not Fighting for Me. Just Remember Trust is Key

If the other side trusts your Attorney, you may end up with a better bargain than you would have gotten had you simply let the Court decide. In addition, there may be legal issues in your case that you have not thought of or do not fully understand.

Jury trials are the exception

Having an Attorney who can both grab the jury’s attention and think on their feet is incredibly important. However, most cases do not go to jury trial. Most issues are decided by a judge, and a judge always decides the issues of law even in a jury trial.

Why do lawyers lack affection?

Because they are used to being objective, lawyers might be cold and lack affection sometimes, but this doesn’t mean your date doesn’t like you. It’s just he/she is very objective about it. 2. Legal field is filled with parties.

What do lawyers think differently?

1. Lawyers think differently. This is the starting point: lawyers and law students think completely different from the rest of us. They are trained to think differently from the first day they decide to become a successful lawyer, so you will have to get used to this.

What time do lawyers work?

You will often find yourself alone while your lawyer friend is at the office preparing a case. If you are the kind of person who likes to go out at 6 PM in the evening, you will be disappointed, because lawyers often work late hours. You will probably find yourself first going out on the town around 9 or 10pm.

What does it mean when you are glossophobic?

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia (also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds).

Why is it important to prepare yourself before a big show?

Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready. “Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.”.

Why do lawyers practice their skills?

This is due to the huge student loan debt a lawyer has, and he or she is forced to use all their skills to make a living so they can manage to repair their debt.

Why do lawyers sniff lies?

Because they are so used to people who tell hundreds of lies, lawyers are able to sniff a lie from a mile, so there is no point in trying to hide something from them. On the other hand, you will notice how objective and sincere a lawyer is in a relationship.

Where to go if you are not satisfied with your lawyer?

If you're not satisfied with your lawyer's strategy decisions or with the arguments the lawyer has been making on your behalf, you may even want to go to the law library and do some reading to educate yourself about your legal problem.

What to do if your lawyer doesn't work?

If that doesn't work, as a last resort you may need to sue your lawyer in small claims court, asking the court for money to compensate you for what you've spent on redoing work in the file or trying to get the file.

What is the agency responsible for licensing and disciplining lawyers?

Every state has an agency responsible for licensing and disciplining lawyers. In most states, it's the bar association; in others, the state supreme court. The agency is most likely to take action if your lawyer has failed to pay you money that you won in a settlement or lawsuit, made some egregious error such as failing to show up in court, didn't do legal work you paid for, committed a crime, or has a drug or alcohol abuse problem.

What to do if you lost money because of a lawyer?

If you lost money because of the way your lawyer handled your case, consider suing for malpractice. Know, however, that it is not an easy task. You must prove two things:

What is the defense of a lawyer who is sued for malpractice?

A common defense raised by attorneys sued for malpractice is that the client waited too long to sue. And because this area of the law can be surprisingly complicated and confusing, there's often plenty of room for argument. Legal malpractice cases are expensive to pursue, so do some investigating before you dive in.

What to do if your lawyer is unresponsive?

If the lawyer is unresponsive and the matter involves a lawsuit, go to the courthouse and look at your case file, which contains all the papers that have actually been filed with the court. If you've hired a new lawyer, ask her for help in getting your file. Also, ask your state bar association for assistance.

What to do if you can't find out what has been done?

If you can't find out what has (and has not) been done, you need to get hold of your file. You can read it in your lawyer's office or ask your lawyer to send you copies of everything -- all correspondence and everything filed with the court or recorded with a government agency.

What does it mean when your partner doesn't understand you?

If you feel like your partner doesn't understand you or that you're not fully compatible, relationship coach, Andi LaBrune, tells Bustle that you may end up feeling resentment, jealousy, nervousness, or a lack of confidence around them. If you don't feel like you can be yourself and be heard, it may bet hat you're worried about not being understood.

What to do if you don't feel like you can be yourself?

If you feel like that piece is missing, try communicating more and being more open with your partner.

What happens if you don't understand each other?

There's a good chance that if you and your partner don't understand each other, it will manifest as arguing. Because, ultimately, you need to understand each other to make it in the long run. "If you don't feel listened to, respected for your thoughts /opinions, even when you disagree, and comfortable speaking your mind — these are signs your ...

Do you pick up on your partner's emotions?

They Don't Pick Up On Your Emotions. On the most basic level, your partner should normally pick up on your emotions and mirror them, at least to a degree. If you're upset, then they sense that and react accordingly. But this doesn't always happen.

Can you love someone without understanding them?

Sometimes the timing is just wrong, and other times, there's an even more fundamental problem: you can love someone without really understanding them. There's a good chance that if you and your partner don't understand each other, it will manifest as arguing. Because, ultimately, you need to understand each other to make it in the long run.

What happens if your girlfriend doesn't care about you anymore?

If your girlfriend doesn’t care about you anymore, she will exhibit a mix of or all of the following behavior traits: – She’s no longer affectionate towards you. – She doesn’t ask what you’re doing. – She doesn’t take an interest in your life. – She doesn’t respond to you and ignores your messages. – She is focused on herself.

What to do when your girlfriend doesn't care about you?

With a girlfriend who doesn’t care about you, you need to act fast before the point of no return. There really is no use in trying to work out when that point is as it is imperative to act as soon as you realize that feelings aren’t right and the discomfort has crept in.

What happens if your girlfriend loses attraction?

A common theme in relationships is “attraction.”. If your girlfriend is losing attraction for you, then she will come across as uncaring as a result. This is a large topic and can be found here on developattraction.com. In essence, if attraction is lowered from your girlfriend’s perspective, it will result in disaster.

1. They Disregard Your Feelings

This is Russo's number one sign that a partner is undervaluing you.

2. They're Self-Absorbed

"It may seem innocent enough — like [they talk] more about [their] life than yours on your dates and in your phone conversations," says Russo. "You might just think [they're] nervous in the early stages of dating or just someone with a lot to share, but it could indicate a selfish personality."

3. They Take Forever To Respond To Your Texts

Russo also says that, "Another sign is a person who consistently fails to respond to your text messages or always takes an unreasonably long time to reply." She goes on to note, "Again you may make excuses for him or her —attributing it to a busy lifestyle.

4. They Don't Make Room For What's Important To You

This is a personal tip that I've discovered through years of dating.

5. You Often Find Yourself Making Excuses For Them

Russo makes reference to this one several times, noting that we may find ourselves rationalizing or explaining away the behaviors of a selfish partner in an attempt to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Do lawyers have egos?

They Have Egos. Regrettably the average lawyer is also a person of intense self interest and competitiveness. They are frequently, but by no means exclusively, Type A personalities. They talk shop constantly and talk themselves up about cases, deals, fees and everything else there is to discuss in Big (or Little) Law.

Can lawyers become enslaved to their diaries?

Lawyers can become enslaved to their diaries and work deadlines. You need to understand that and realize that they will jump when the partner/client says so. Lawyers put their work first. No matter how long you’ve been dating, the strong feeling of ‘they just don’t care about me’ is hard to shake.

Do lawyers have to be governed by billable hours?

If they are intent on making partner then they will be governed by a multiple of the billable hours they have been ‘allocated’.

Do lawyers love their work?

It’s not necessarily that lawyers love their work, it’s just that the law is a demanding mistress. You’ll always be one of three in the relationship. And the law will probably come first. Work, work, work – case, case, case. It’s the way of the legal world. That’s the nature of dating lawyers. Sorry.

Is being a lawyer stressful?

Being a lawyer is stressful and dating one can be twice as stressful – there is a tendency to have major bouts of stress-testing as a result of pressure and the endless routine of time-recorded deadlines. So be aware that when they break out they can be nasty. Another lawyer dating ‘downside’.

What is it like to have a lawyer boyfriend?

Having a lawyer boyfriend or girlfriend is akin to having an imaginary friend. Lawyers lead notoriously busy lives and work notoriously long hours, so you better get used to ready meals for one.

Is law a competitive industry?

Law is a fiercely competitive industry to get into, so you can bet your partner is going to be an academic whizz. When it comes to watching the evening news together, prepare to be made to feel stupid at every stage.

Do lawyers put their work first?

Lawyers put their work first. No matter how long you’ve been dating, the strong feeling of ‘they just don’t care about me’ is hard to shake. You’ll definitely always be the second most important ‘partner’ in their life. And they probably feel more strongly about the legal aid crisis than they do about you too.

Do lawyers make good partners on Tinder?

No wonder they are amongst the most right swiped professions on Tinder. But don’t do it. Dating a lawyer sounds waaay better than it actually is. They really don’t make very good partners — in the romantic sense, at least.