lawyer posts hilarious legal tips based on what actually

What does the lawyer say in the Good News and bad news?

These contemporary takes are worthy of the Bard himself. This Lawyer Is Thorough… The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news.” “What’s the bad news?” asks the accused. “The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.”

How to think like a lawyer?

Although law professors remain fond of telling students they’re going to teach them how to think like a lawyer, you don’t have to attend law school to enhance your own logic and critical thinking skills. Approach a problem from all angles. To see all the possible issues in a set of facts, lawyers look at the situation from different perspectives.

What's the worst thing about being a lawyer?

" One insider secret is that most lawyers are overworked, exhausted, and not earning as much as they could," Rodgers says. Burnout, stress, and depression are incredibly common among lawyers.

What are some of the funniest stories about lawyers?

Check out these hilarious stories from lawyers and judges. You'll never look at a court of law the same way again! A young man named George had surgery to correct an ugly scar on his hand. The surgeon grafted skin from George’s chest onto his hand… except George had a hairy chest…so now he had a hairy hand as well.

The Best Lawyer Quotes

This article contains the best lawyer quotes: funny, inspirational, and famous quotes about lawyers and their careers. It also includes thank-you quotes for lawyers for those who have benefited from their services and wish to find the right words to show appreciation.

Quotes About Lawyers by Famous People

"If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers.” —Charles Dickens

Thank-You Quotes for Lawyers

"Thank you for representing me. My situation would be much worse without your research, diligence, and hard work."

Did you know that lawyer jokes are so old they can be found in the works of Shakespeare? These contemporary takes are worthy of the Bard himself

Did you know that lawyer jokes are so old they can be found in the works of Shakespeare? These contemporary takes are worthy of the Bard himself.

Long Tour of Duty

I work in a courthouse, so when I served jury duty, I knew most of the staff. As I sat with other prospective jurors listening to a woman drone on about how long the process was taking, a judge and two lawyers passed by, giving me a big hello. A minute later, a few maintenance workers did the same.

A Little Too Literal

If you’re interested in becoming a lawyer, you’ll need a degree. But as these court transcripts reveal, the question is, in what?

Roll Call

I was in juvenile court, prosecuting a teen suspected of burglary, when the judge asked everyone to stand and state his or her name and role for the court reporter. “Leah Rauch, deputy prosecutor,” I said. “Linda Jones, probation officer.” “Sam Clark, public defender.” “John,” said the teen who was on trial. “I’m the one who stole the truck.”

The First Case

An investment banker decides she needs in-house counsel, so she interviews a young lawyer. “Mr. Peterson,” she says. “Would you say you’re honest?”

Court of Less Appeal

Justice isn’t just blind—it’s snickering at these real courtroom give-and-takes:

Frame of Reference

When my 88-year-old mother was called for jury duty, she had to submit to questioning by the opposing lawyers. “Have you ever dealt with an attorney?” asked the plaintiff’s lawyer. “Yes. I had an attorney write my living trust,” she responded. “And how did that turn out?” “I don’t know,” she said. “Ask me when I’m dead.”

How to get a good lawyer to take your case?

“If you want to improve your chances of securing the best lawyer to take your case, you need to prepare before you meet them,” advises attorney Stephen Babcock. “Get your story, facts, and proof together well before your first meeting.” This not only ensures that you understand your own needs, but it helps a good lawyer to ascertain whether he or she can actually help you. “We want the best clients too. Proving you’re organized and reliable helps us.”

Why is it important to approach a lawyer with honesty?

“ Winning cases can be lost because of a client who lies or exaggerates just as easily as because of a lawyer who tells the client what the client wants to hear instead of what is true.” So when dealing with attorneys, don’t just look for honesty—be honest.

What is a potential money pit?

When hiring an attorney, a potential money pit is “expenses” outside of the lawyer’s billable hours. Expenses include everything—copying and faxing costs, hiring expert witnesses, and even traveling via private jet, points out attorney Justin C. Roberts. Some lawyers don’t just pass the charges along; instead, they charge an additional percentage fee. Whatever their method, you need to know it up front so there won’t be any surprises when the bill arrives.

Do you need a lawyer to write a demand letter?

On reading a demand letter, the other person will often say, “this isn’t worth the trouble” and they quickly settle. But here’s a secret from Knight: You don’t need a lawyer to write a demand letter. You can do it yourself. Just make it look as formal as possible, and you may find your dispute goes away—no charge to you.

Should a lawyer stay out of court?

In fact, a lawyer should try to stay out of court. “In my experience, a good lawyer always finds every opportunity to keep a case from being decided by a judge, and only relents on trying a case before the bench when all alternatives have been exhausted,” attorney, Jason Cruz says.

Who is the attorney who claims she could no longer perform at work?

Personal injury attorney Byron Browne tells Reader’s Digest of a woman who’d been injured in an accident and claimed she could no longer perform at work. While it may be true that there were some activities she could no longer perform, a private investigator unearthed a treasure trove of professional adult films the woman had shot since the accident, proving there’s performing, and then there’s performing, and this woman was performing just fine, apparently.

Who was the judge who sentenced an exotic dancer to wearing an ankle monitor?

Speaking of funny judges, Judge Rosemarie Aquilina had us in tears when she told us about an exotic dancer who, having pleaded guilty on a drug charge, was sentenced to wearing an ankle monitor. Just a few days after sentencing, however, the woman was back in the courtroom, seeking an exception because the ankle monitor was kind of “ruining her vibe” at the strip club. In response, Judge Aquilina offered a veritable Solomon-esque solution: “Bedazzle that thing to match your outfits. Motion denied.”

What is poetic justice?

Poetic justice. Judges have latitude when it comes to how they write their opinions and some run with it. For example, here’s how Justice Goldberg (a federal appeals court judge in Texas) began his 1986 opinion in the case of United States v. Batson:

Why did Arkady Frekhtman call in an actuarial expert?

When all was said and done (and won), the client asked to be put in touch with the expert. Why? Because he wanted to know exactly when he would die and how… as if the expert were a psychic and not an actuary.

Who is the judge on "Caught in Providence"?

More legal hilarity comes from Frank Caprio, Providence’s Chief Municipal Judge in Rhode Island and now the star of Caught in Providence, who, “judging” by the stories he recently shared with Reader’s Digest, has clearly has heard everything.

What is a hairy hand?

The “Hairy Hand”. A young man named George had surgery to correct an ugly scar on his hand. The surgeon grafted skin from George’s chest onto his hand… except George had a hairy chest…so now he had a hairy hand as well. George sued the surgeon and was awarded “the difference in value between a 100 percent good hand… and a hairy hand.”.

What are the common problems lawyers face?

Burnout, stress, and depression are incredibly common among lawyers. Make sure you take advantage of mental health days, vacation days, and sick days, and if you're truly struggling (or your colleagues are), consult a mental health practitioner. 15. You probably won't be rich.

What does it mean to be a lawyer?

Being a lawyer means being a writer. Just when you thought those law school papers were done, that's not quite the case. "I'm a litigator, which can be a bit like writing a term paper every night for the rest of your life," Devereux says.

Do lawyers spend time in court?

You probably won't spend much time in court. All the movies that show lawyers only working when they're in court are not at all accurate. " In fact, you might never see a courtroom," Devereux says. You'll probably be spending a lot of time alone, in an office, researching cases, and processing paperwork.

Can I pass the bar exam on the first try?

You may not pass the bar on the first try. The bar exam wasn't exactly designed with everyone in mind. " Here’s the thing. The bar exam—like most academic exams in our country—was first developed by white, affluent, powerful men (a.k.a. the patriarchy) who very much wanted to retain their power," Rodgers says.

Can you work remotely with copyright clients?

And it may allow you to move around or work remotely. "Because trademarks and copyrights are regulated by a federal agency, you can work with trademark and copyright clients from any state. This gives you lots of flexibility if you don’t want to be stuck in the state in which you are barred," says Rodgers. 6.

Can you make a partner?

It's not easy to make partner (or become a part-owner of a firm instead of an employee), even if you're a top performer. "In my experience, most people I worked with did not make partner," Jamie says. Often, it's worth it to leave and go to another firm to get to that level, she admits.

Does law school teach you how to practice law?

" Law school doesn't really teach you how to practice law," Devereux says. It turns out, you have a lot left to learn. "In the beginning, it may seem like nearly every time you are assigned a task, it's something that you've never done before," she adds. But don't worry, eventually, with more practice (pun intended) you'll get the hang of the skill set and type of law you're practicing. "The anxiety should subside after a couple of years when you've developed a decent base of skills," Devereux says.

What does it mean to think like a lawyer?

Thinking like a lawyer also means not taking anything for granted. Understanding why something happened, or why a certain law was enacted, enables you to apply the same rationale to other fact patterns and reach a logical conclusion. ...

Why do lawyers refer to the policy behind a law?

Lawyers refer to why a law was made as its ‘‘policy.’’. The policy behind a law can be used to argue that new facts or circumstances should also fall under the law.

Why do lawyers need judgment?

Thinking like a lawyer also requires using judgment. Just because a logical argument can be made doesn’t mean that argument is good. Judgment is necessary to determine whether a given line of reasoning or conclusion is in anyone’s best interests or advances society as a whole, or if it’s destructive and dangerous.

How to be a lawyer?

1. Approach a problem from all angles. To see all the possible issues in a set of facts, lawyers look at the situation from different perspectives. Putting yourself in others’ shoes allows you to understand other points of view.

Why does the girl sue the store?

The girl sues the store for her injuries and wins because the judge rules the store owner was negligent in not sweeping the floor. Thinking like a lawyer means identifying which of the facts were important to the judge in deciding the case.

Why do people wear masks in public?

For example, the New York law against people wearing masks in public places is to prevent a mass crime or a riot, since you don't know the assailant's identity undercover.

What is the Arizona law on camel shooting?

And the Arizona one, about camel shooting prohibitions, stems from United States Camel Corps, an army experiment to use these animals for military forces. So there, as improbable as these laws might seem, they do have comprehensive explanations.

Is governing a big country a tough job?

Add source. Governing a big country is a tough job, and you are bound to be hated by half of the population you're ruling. Now, bear in mind, that the person on top, is also responsible for the laws, upon which, the whole democratic system is based.