Longer Lawyer Jokes. Attack Dog -- Added 18 July 2000. The Bible's Lost First Page -- Added 27 July 1996. The Blind Snake & Rabbit -- Added 26 July 1996. Billing on Social Questions -- Added 26 July 1996. Bribing the Jury -- Added 29 September 1996.
Apr 07, 2015 · The above is general information. Laws change frequently, and across jurisdictions. You should get a personalized case evaluation from a licensed attorney. Find a local attorney to give you a free case review here, or call 888-972-0892. We wish you the best with your claim, Injury Claim Coach. Published: April 7, 2015.
Lawless. A young lawyer is working late one night when his door opens and in walks Satan himself. “I have an offer,” says Satan. “If you give me your soul and the soul of everyone in your ...
The art of the trial lawyer (whether the prosecuting attorney or the defense attorney) is to present the evidence in the manner necessary to win one's case. For the defendant, this means proving an affirmative defense (i.e., "the victim provoked my dog"), a denial (i.e., "it didn't happen at all"), or a violation of one's own due process rights ...
When it comes to the substance of a dog bite lawsuit, a defendant dog owner can usually "win" (avoid liability) in one of two ways: by convincing the judge or jury that the person who is suing (the plaintiff) did not prove all necessary elements of his or her case, or. by providing a successful affirmative defense.
After a bite incident, you and your dog may face charges in criminal court or "dog court." If the bite was justified because of trespass or provocation, or if there is a risk that the punishment might not fit the "crime," you will need to retain an attorney or learn how to defend yourself.
9 Taboo Sayings You Should Never Tell Your LawyerI forgot I had an appointment. ... I didn't bring the documents related to my case. ... I have already done some of the work for you. ... My case will be easy money for you. ... I have already spoken with 5 other lawyers. ... Other lawyers don't have my best interests at heart.More items...•Mar 17, 2021
How To Respond To A Legal Letter Like A Lawyer?Step one: Take your time for a legal letter….. but not too much. ... Step two: Don't' give away too much and respond with questions of your own. ... Step Three: Try to keep emotion out of it. ... Step four: Always have your response tested by someone else first.
In California, a dog that bites someone is not required to be put down since the owners of the dog are held liable for your injury – not the dog itself. Many of our clients would never open a dog bite case if they knew the animal was at risk of being euthanized.Oct 9, 2019
In the question of “Who's to blame for a dog bite?” the law is clear on the answer. It is never the dog's fault. It is rarely the victim's fault. It is almost certainly the fault of the dog's owner or the person who was supposed to have control of the dog when it attacked.Mar 16, 2017
There's bad news your attorney doesn't want to deliver. If your attorney is not experienced or efficient, they may have missed a deadline or made another mistake and aren't willing to confess their error. There could also be some bad news that is entirely outside of the attorney's control.Mar 29, 2021
Signs of a Bad LawyerBad Communicators. Communication is normal to have questions about your case. ... Not Upfront and Honest About Billing. Your attorney needs to make money, and billing for their services is how they earn a living. ... Not Confident. ... Unprofessional. ... Not Empathetic or Compassionate to Your Needs. ... Disrespectful.Aug 19, 2020
You should tell your lawyer your story. Criminal defense lawyers defend both the guilty and the innocent. Your lawyer's job is to resolve the charges against you, not to judge you morally. If truth was obvious, we would't have such an elaborate process to uncover it.Oct 5, 2015
A: The lawyer should be responsive to your questions within 24-48 hours after you left a message. If the lawyer is not responsive, perhaps he or she is on vacation and unable to return.Dec 28, 2019
Responding to Correspondence Threatening Legal ActionLook carefully at the letter's contents. ... Check to see who sent the letter. ... Review the substance of the letter or email. ... Review the situation and the facts. ... Determine how best to proceed.More items...
It's always best to have an attorney respond, on your behalf, to a “lawyer letter,” or a phone call from a lawyer. If that's not an option for you, though, make sure that you send a typed, written response to the attorney (by e-mail or mail), and keep a copy for yourself.May 21, 2020
After successfully passing the bar exam, a young lawyer started up his own practice. He was sitting idle at his desk when his secretary announced that a Mr. Jones had arrived to see him.
The man explained to the kennel owner that he wanted the biggest, meanest, most vicious dog in the kennel, and the owner offered to take the man on a tour of the premises.
A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.
After hours of deliberation, the jury returned the verdit of guilty for the lesser charge.
A truck driver would amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back onto the road. One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over.
A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the point where the pathways meet. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.
These two guys, George and Harry, set out in a Hot Air balloon to cross the Atlantic Ocean. After 37 hours in the air, George says, "Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are." Harry lets out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud cover.
The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news.” “What’s the bad news?” asks the accused. “The bad news is, your blood 
is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.” “What’s the good news?” “Your cholesterol is 130.”
A young lawyer is working late one night when his door opens and in walks Satan himself. “I have an offer,” says Satan. “If you give me your soul and the soul of everyone in your family, I’ll make you a full partner in your firm.”
A man won an $8,000 settlement from Disneyland after he got stuck on the It’s a Small World ride. He said he’ll use the money to cut out the part of his brain that won’t stop playing “It’s a Small World After All.” Conan O’Brien
To most dog owners, the most important question in a criminal or administrative dog bite case is whether your dog will be taken from you and/or put down. Every jurisdiction has its own laws concerning the consequences which may result from a dog bite. In addition to the civil laws which provide compensation for the victim ...
If your dog bites someone, do the right things so that the victim and his family do not become frustrated and take action. See If Your Dog Bites Someone. For the sake of prevention, see Why Dogs Bite , which explains that training, socializing and caring properly for your dog will reduce the risk that it will bite someone in the future. ...
After a bite incident, you and your dog may face charges in criminal court or "dog court.". If the bite was justified because of trespass or provocation, or if there is a risk that the punishment might not fit the "crime," you will need to retain an attorney or learn how to defend yourself.
If your dog barks too much, lunges at pedestrians, snaps at the mailman or kids on the block, trouble is on its way. It can take several forms. The Post Office may refuse to deliver mail until you deal with the problem. Animal control may cite you and fine you. Injuries to others will be followed by a letter from an attorney which, if you do not answer it, will in turn be followed by a visit from a Sheriff bearing the summons for a lawsuit.
The dispositions vary widely and can include a fine, an order that the dog be confined a certain way, a requirement that the dog be insured, euthanasia of the dog, or a number of other things. The person defending the dog should be prepared to convince the hearing officer to impose an acceptable disposition.
In addition to the civil laws which provide compensation for the victim (and sometimes punitive damages), there are criminal laws and administrative laws. "Dog court" usually proceeds under the administrative laws. There are three broad issues that arise in criminal and "dog court" hearings:
To get justice, either in the form of a "not guilty" verdict or a proportionate sentence, you need to prepare thoroughly. To do so, see Defending Your Dog - Win Your Case In Dog Court, which is a complete manual that covers both the law and the strategies for cases in criminal court and "dog court.". To most dog owners, the most important question ...
What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? A bad lawyer might let a case drag on for several years. A good lawyer knows how to make it last even longer.
An attorney was working late one night in his office when, suddenly, Satan appeared before him. The Devil made him an offer. “I will make it so you win every case that you try for the rest of your life. Your clients will worship you, your colleagues will be in awe, and you will make enormous amounts of money. But, in return, you must give me your soul, your wife’s soul, the souls of your children, your parents, grandparents, and those of all the your friends.” The lawyer thought about it for a moment, then asked, “But what’s the catch?”
The Hindu says, “I’m humble, I’ll sleep in the barn.”.
If you end up getting sued, hire your own lawyer. Report Abuse. Report Abuse.
If you cannot find an insurance defense attorney, then a plaintiff's personal injury attorney will do. Find an attorney who is willing to take your case in the event you are sued. If you cannot find an attorney, don't be too concerned yet. Until you are sued, you do not have to do anything.
First, here's the statute on your possible liability: Civil Code section 3342: (a) The owner of any dog is liable for the damages suffered by any person who is bitten by the dog while in a public place or lawfully in a private place, including the property of the owner of the dog, regardless of the former viciousness of the dog or the owner's knowledge of such viciousness. A person is lawfully upon the private property of such owner within the meaning of this section when he is on such property in the performance of any duty imposed upon him by the laws of this state or by the laws or postal regulations of the United States, or when he is on such property upon the invitation, express or implied, of the owner. Technically you are liable, but what damages has this guy suffered? I think once you see what his medical report and bills are, then you address the matter factually with the information you have below that his skin was not punctured. Sounds to me at worst you pay for his lone visit to the doctor.
If you do not have any insurance, you need to get an attorney to defend any suit that is brought against you. It sounds like there is not much of a case against you.
Now, since you do not have insurance, there is no one to turn the claim over to. So you will be negotiating with the attorney directly. Lucky for you, it doesn't sound like the guy is hurt too badly so the claim is worth very little if anything. Wait to see what sort of demand they make. If warranted, get an attorney.
From the description of the "injuries," it doesn't seem you have much to worry about. If you do not have insurance, however, you may have to hire your own attorney, which may give you pause because of the expense. Don't be so worried about hiring an attorney that you get someone else to work for you. Report Abuse.
Until you are sued, you do not have to do anything. The attorney may lose interest now that he knows there is no insurance. If you get the reports, you may want to try to meet with the attorney and share the reports in order to convince him the case is not worth his time. Report Abuse.
Make your points quickly, but don't gloss over anything important. Stick to the facts , rather than attempting to appeal to the judge's emotions. Keep in mind that in this kind of case, any sympathy typically will extend to the injured person rather than the owner of the dog that caused the injuries. ...
You typically can defend yourself by proving that the injured person provoked the dog. Any witnesses who observed the person teasing the dog can provide strong testimony in your favor. Keep in mind that provocation can be accidental or unintentional, such as stepping on the dog's tail.
The best way to defend yourself is to present your strongest points first, then move on.
1. Read the complaint and summons. The complaint and summons include details about the plaintiff's allegations as well as important dates and deadlines you need to know. The summons gives you the name and contact information of the person who sued you, and also tells you how long you have to respond.
With written discovery, you and the plaintiff send each other questions to be answered under oath, or ask for copies certain documents or other evidence. Depositions, in contrast, are live interviews with a witness or the other party.
1. Consider attempting mediation. Through mediation, a neutral third party works with you and the plaintiff to come to a compromise and settle the claim. Mediation is less formal than a trial, and more focused on finding a mutually agreeable resolution to the dispute than on finding a winner and a loser.
A court reporter attends and makes a transcript of the deposition that will be available for your reference later. Learning more about the incident from the plaintiff can help you develop your defenses. For example, suppose your dog bites a postal service worker who is delivering a package to your home.
A “dog lawyer,” or more accurately, an animal lawyer or animal law attorney, is an attorney who specializes in matters of animal law. Circumstances in which you may need sound legal advice and representation from someone with extensive experience with dog-related cases are not limited to dog bite incidents. Veterinary malpractice cases, custody ...
If you are sued for damages, you will need a lawyer. An animal law attorney familiar with your state’s bite laws and experienced in dog bite cases will be your best choice. Estate planning. Many dog owners want to provide for the care of their animals after they die.
As with medical care for people, sometimes things go terribly wrong. Veterinary malpractice is professional negligence, an error that should not be made based on a level of competence expected of a veterinarian as a result of specialized training and experience, which results in injury or death to your dog. If you feel an error was made by your ...
Veterinary malpractice cases, custody issues in divorces, and landlord-tenant disputes are just a few examples of when an animal law attorney can help with legal issues pertaining to your dog.
If the victim wins in court you may be paying not only for medical costs, but also for lost wages and pain and suffering. Homeowner’s or renter’s insurance is your best protection. Make sure your policy covers dog bites, and be certain your dog’s breed is covered as well.
If you feel an error was made by your veterinarian in treating your pet, an animal law attorney can help you determine if the case is actionable (malpractice) or a case of simple negligence (carelessness) that does not constitute malpractice.
If you are unable to reach an agreement as to who will get custody of your dog, the courts will have to decide for you. Sole custody, joint custody, sole custody with visitation, no ongoing relationship, and splitting up pets between partners are all up for consideration in custody disputes.