i'm a stay at home mom and husband hired a divorce lawyer what should i do?

by Raleigh Goyette 10 min read

If you are a stay at home mom and/or a housewife, you are among the most vulnerable people when it comes to divorce. Because of this, the first thing you must do when your husband has decided on divorce is to retain legal representation.

Full Answer

Why should a stay at home mom hire a divorce attorney?

Having someone on your side to provide knowledge and skills that deliver is an essential reason for hiring a lawyer. Being a stay at home mom while going through a divorce can be stressful and difficult, but you can stay ahead of the game and keep prepared by following this guideline and meeting a lawyer sooner rather than later!

Should I hire a lawyer for my divorce?

Think You Should “Lawyer Up?” You might be thinking you have no choice but to hire a divorce lawyer to make sure you and the kids are protected and get what you're entitled to. After all, a lawyer will fight for you and get you the best settlement they possibly can.

How much does a divorce lawyer cost for a stay-at-home mom?

Hiring divorce lawyers can be pretty expensive for a stay-at-home mom with no money, but it is a necessary measure in complicated circumstances, such as child custody cases. According to Investopedia.com, child custody lawyer’s services cost between $1,200 and $4,500.

Can a stay-at-home mom get a divorce?

Most everything that needs to be resolved in a divorce for a stay-at-home mom or anyone else for that matter sits in a gray area and is subject to negotiation. The Cost of Your Divorce Will Greatly Impact Your Settlement.

How does a stay at home mom get a divorce?

A thorough guide that walks stay-at-home moms and dads through six steps to prepare for the divorce process.Step 1: Consider the Options for Ending Your Marriage.Step 2: Assess Household Financial Information.Step 3: Gather Your Financial and Other Documents.Step 4: Inventory Personal and Family Possessions.More items...

How do people survive living in the same house when divorcing?

7 Ground Rules for Living Together While DivorcingCreate a new budget. ... Allocate responsibilities around the house. ... Don't sleep with your ex-spouse. ... Establish boundaries. ... Plan to live separately. ... Don't fight in front of your children. ... Don't use the kids as leverage. ... Tip 1.More items...•

What should a wife ask for in a divorce settlement?

5 Things To Make Sure Are Included In Your Divorce SettlementA detailed parenting-time schedule—including holidays! ... Specifics about support. ... Life insurance. ... Retirement accounts and how they will be divided. ... A plan for the sale of the house.

How do stay at home moms protect themselves financially?

Five Financial Protection Tips for Stay at Home MomsMake sure you can trust your partner. For me, deciding to stay home was terrifying. ... Be aware of the finances. ... For your financial protection, put the big things in both names. ... Insurance and Social Security are key to financial protection. ... Get the paperwork in order.

What to do when you own a house and break up?

You can either follow the legal procedures that apply in your state—typically this means the court will order the property to be sold, and the net proceeds (after paying mortgages, liens, and costs of sale) to be divided—or you can reach your own compromise settlement.

What to do when you want a divorce but can't afford to move out?

What Can You Do Now to Prepare for Separation?Establish separate checking, savings, and credit card accounts under your name. ... Get separate cellphone accounts to maintain your privacy: Keep in mind, cellphones store a significant amount of information (emails, text messages, etc.)More items...

Why moving out is the biggest mistake in a divorce?

You Can Damage Your Child Custody Claim One of the most significant ways moving out can influence your divorce is when it comes to child custody. If you move out, it means you don't spend as much time with your kids. Not only can this harm your relationship, but it can also damage your custody claim.

Who loses more in a divorce?

Marriage is connected to a longer lifespan for both men and women. While both genders see a rise in deaths following divorce, the rate for men is 1,773 per 100,000, compared to 1,096 for women.

What a woman should do to prepare for divorce?

9 Critical Steps Women Should Take To Prepare For DivorceGather your financial records. ... Open a Post Office Box. ... Start putting money away for legal and other professional fees. ... Open a new checking and savings account. ... Open new credit cards in your name only. ... Get a copy of your credit report.

How much allowance should a stay-at-home mom get?

According to the Labor Department, the median hourly wage for child day care services is $11.57. If a stay-at-home mom were to earn an equivalent wage for child care, she would make $29.62 a day for an average of 2.56 hours spent providing care for her children.

How much should a husband make to be a stay-at-home mom?

Close to half of mothers whose husbands earn $250,000 or higher a year (46%) are not in the labor force. On the other end of the income spectrum, 35% of mothers whose husbands make less than $25,000 a year are stay-at-home moms.

Do stay-at-home moms need retirement?

But one role stay-at-home moms are not filling is “retirement planner.” According to a 2015 Transamerica Center for Retirement study, only 44% of stay-at-home moms are saving for retirement, and 51% do not have any sort strategy for retirement – written or unwritten.

Can separated couples live in the same house?

Most legally separated couples want to live in different residences, but this isn't always possible or practical, especially when the marriage involves small children. For various reasons, many couples continue living under the same roof while legally separated.

Can I live my life separated but in the same house as my husband?

You can be considered separated from your spouse even if you still live in the same house. But you might have to prove to a court that you've actually separated if: you've ended your relationship, but. you're still living together (to save money on bills, for example).

Can a divorced couple still live together?

Key points. Even after making the hard decision to end a relationship, former partners may continue living together for a variety of reasons. Partners who are separated but living together must decide on how to handle new relationships and share resources.

Do people live together during divorce?

Divorcing couples continue to live together for numerous reasons. One common reason may be that there just is not enough money for them to set up another household. If money is tight and you can set the appropriate ground rules, there is no reason why both parties could not still live together.

How should stay-at-home-mom ensure financial wellbeing in divorce?

A stay-at-home-mom should get all of her financial documents together to ensure financial wellbeing in divorce. This includes W2s and tax returns f...

How can stay-at-home-moms pay for divorce costs?

Stay-at-home-moms will need access to their marital account to meet divorce costs. Hiring an attorney to represent you is critical so that you can...

How much does a stay-at-home-mom need for living after divorce?

A stay-at-home-mom should take the time to sit down one day and realistically draw up a budget based on how much is spent monthly on food, clothing...

What should stay-at-home-mom do with marital home?

Although a stay-at-home-moms may want to continue living in the marital home for sentimental value to you and your kids, a divorce already stretche...

How should stay-at-home-moms leverage credit after divorce?

Having a good credit score will allow lenders to feel more confident in lending the funds you need for mortgages on homes, cars, etc. One way to im...

How do I know my credit score?

You can find out your credit score on sites such as Credit Karma.

Should stay-at-home-moms return to work?

Having a job gives you a chance to set up an individual account and to grant you the financial freedom you need to cover extra expenses. Make a res...

Can stay-at-home-moms request temporary alimony?

If a judge determines that you have been at home for an extended period of time and cannot return to work right away because you do not have immedi...

Why do stay at home moms want to keep their home?

Many stay-at-home moms want to keep the marital home for the sentimental value, or to maintain the façade of normal routines for the children. Unfortunately, this choice may not always be practical. Based on your new budget, you could find that keeping the marital home is not realistic.

Why is it important to be a stay at home mom?

Especially for a stay-at-home mom, it is important that you receive everything you are entitled to, so you do not want to leave it to chance. You need to begin assembling a top-notch team, in order to ensure that you receive just what you need for your upcoming single life.

How to get divorce documents together?

Documentation will play a large part in working through a favorable divorce settlement with your spouse. Attorneys, mediators, and certified divorce financial analysts may request any number of different documents, in order to get a clear picture of your current marital finances.

What should be included in a divorce settlement?

They should include tangible items, such as sentimental belongings and family heirlooms, as well as important issues regarding visitation, custody rights, and co-parenting solutions.

Why is it important to get organized during divorce?

This disadvantage is apparent as soon as the divorce process begins, so it is of critical importance to get organized as quickly as possible. The faster you can get your affairs in order, the more secure your financial future could become.

Can a stay at home mom get alimony?

On a long-term basis, alimony is typically only granted for spouses who were stay-at-home moms for a very long period of time. After such a time period, a judge may declare that the stay-at-home mom is past the point of being able to learn new skills or find gainful employment outside of the home. 10.

What to do when you get divorced as a stay at home mom?

You know as a stay at home mom getting a divorce, that's income you'll never get back and that could have been used to: Stay in the house or buy a place of your own; Pay off those credit cards; Put your kids through college; Put money away for your retirement ;

What happens if you hire a lawyer who can't help you and your husband?

If you hire lawyers who can’t help you and your husband resolve this issue, you’ll have no choice but to battle it out in court in front of a judge. And when a judge dictates the terms of your settlement, you could wind up with something you don’t find fair. Or, doesn’t meet your needs. Finally, there’s alimony.

What is the most catastrophic mistake to avoid in a stay at home moms divorce?

Regardless of whether you're the one driving the decision or are on the receiving end of such shocking news, for the stay at home moms divorce and the end of a marriage, can be utterly terrifying. The worries pour in and flood your mind filling you with anxiety.

Can a stay at home mom divorce?

That's the best option for a stay-at-home mom divorce. As a stay-at-home wife, divorce mediation allows you and your children's father to have the realistic conversations necessary as parents, to come up with a parenting plan that works in the real world. One that doesn't disrupt your children's routine.

Do mediators care about children?

Stay at home mom divorce settlements don't fit a cookie cutter mold.

Do you have to pay alimony if you work full time?

Finally, given your full-time job is to work inside the home, there is a good chance your husband will have to pay you alimony (also known as spousal support or maintenance). And that's probably a sore subject for both of you.

Is the pie big in divorce?

The pie is only so big and the amount of money available to you and your husband to divide during your divorce proceedings is limited to what he earns and what you have in the bank .

What to do after divorce?

Once your attorney has a good idea of your finances, he or she will be able to begin outlining the divorce process in terms of what you’ll need to do after the divorce to stay financially solvent. This may include getting a job or going back to school for training and education.

How many stay at home moms divorced in 2017?

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2017 approximately 9.5 million (or 80%) of single parents in the United States were women. Of those 9.5 million single mothers 757,381 (or 8%) were divorced, stay-at-home moms. Each year, thousands of married couples file for divorce for any number of reasons.

Is divorce easy for stay at home moms?

Divorces are never easy or simple changes, and when it comes to stay-at-home mothers, this change can be even more overwhelming. But with the right amount of planning and assistance, a stay-at-home mom’s divorce can be a positive change, the first step in reaching the next stage of life and ultimately, an improved well-being.

Why is divorce so stressful?

Divorce can be an especially stressful time as a stay-at-home mom who has dedicated the past few years to raising kids and taking care of the family. By taking time away from their work life , they may be at a disadvantage. This is because it could be hard going back or relearning certain job-skills to make them competitive in the workplace again.

Who is Cathy from DivorcedMoms?

Cathy is a Master Certified Relationship Coach and Certified Marriage Educator. She is also the Founding and Managing Editor of DivorcedMoms.com – the leading resource and community for divorced moms to connect, communicate, express their passion and thoughts, share experiences, and find expert information and advice.

Can you sell your house after divorce?

Although you may want to continue living in the marital home for sentimental value to you and your kids, a divorce already stretches you and your spouse financially. It may be wise to have the house appraised and to know how much it is worth. In this way, if the budget needs to be limited, you can always sell the property and downsize to keep paying the bills for necessary items.

A thorough guide that walks stay-at-home moms and dads through six steps to prepare for the divorce process

A thorough guide that walks stay-at-home moms and dads through six steps to prepare for the divorce process.

Step 1: Consider the Options for Ending Your Marriage

It's natural to worry about battling out your divorce in court to the tune of thousands of dollars in attorneys' fees. Many stay-at-home parents are tempted to avoid court and save money by accepting a bad divorce settlement simply because they can't afford to hire a lawyer. It doesn't have to be this way, though.

Step 2: Assess Household Financial Information

When divorce is coming, it's time to take stock of your household financial situation. If you haven't been handling or involved in the family finances, this step is especially important—you need to become familiar with the ins and outs of the family budget so that you can get a picture of what your post-divorce finances will look like.

Step 3: Gather Your Financial and Other Documents

Now that you know where to look, you'll need to begin gathering documents about your finances. You'll also want to gather documents that relate to your marriage, your children, and your household in general.

Step 4: Inventory Personal and Family Possessions

Make a list of items that that have value to you and that you might want to keep after the divorce, such as jewelry or hobby-related items. You'll also want to make an inventory of major items that belong to the family, such as cars, appliances, furniture, and artwork.

Step 5: Begin Planning Your Financial Future

In addition to gathering important marital and financial documents, stay-at-home spouses should:

Step 6: Begin Planning Your Personal Future

Obviously, figuring out how you'll get to see your children will be one of your top concerns as a divorcing stay-at-home mom or dad. Custody and visitation make for one of a few non-financial—but very important—topics to think about as you prepare for divorce.

What to do after divorce?

Tell them your plans, your family’s financial situation , and get a sense of what you are looking at financially during and after a divorce . Now, no matter if a lawyer tells you that alimony or a big settlement are likely (which they are not for most women), stay focused on earning and building your own income and wealth.

What is the best case scenario for a husband?

The best-case scenario is that you are awarded financial assistance from your husband for a limited time, and are expected to find work and become financially independent of him. The very best-case scenario is that you both equally share in the responsibility of raising the children .

Why do stay at home moms not demand child care?

Many women who were stay-at-home moms fail to demand payment full-time child care because they have a hard time imagining that they will need it — or simply can’t let go of their dream of staying home. Instead, I urge you to hire a nanny or day care full-time, and get to work.

Why do women need to be dependent on men?

Four decades of widespread divorce have taught us that by keeping women financially dependent on men in an effort to keep her home with the kids is a recipe for poverty for everyone involved, high tensions and co-parenting conflict — and no one moving on after divorce.

Should a stay at home mom get a job before divorce?

Should a stay-at-home mom get a job before divorce? Yes, stay-at-home moms should get a job, period. Some attorneys or ill-informed friends may suggest that by keeping your income low, you will qualify for more child support and/or alimony.

Is collaborative divorce a good idea?

Collaborative divorce may be a good option, or you may be able to file your divorce yourselves. 3 Step Divorce is our #1 recommended divorce paper service, with its A+ BBB rating and $50 rebate. Take steps to be financially indpendent. Open your own bank and credit card accounts.

Is child support enough to live on?

Child support and alimony are almost never enough to live on, is unreliable (only 40% of child support owed is actually paid), increases conflict with your ex, which makes co-parenting harder, and keeps you small and dependent on that man.

How long does spousal support last in California?

Marriages of a short duration (defined generally by the California Family Code as a marriage under 10 years) are easier to deal with because spousal support typically will not last for longer than half the duration of the marriage. Since a stay at home mom's income may affect not just child support but also spousal support, the mother has to at some point get back in the work force. If an opportunity presents itself early on, a stay at home mom going through a divorce may want to consider that opportunity earlier, rather than later.

Can a stay at home mom turn down a job?

While the numbers may vary, I will tell you that in most circumstances, the answer is yes and therefore, it makes little sense for a stay at home mom ( whose day-to-day care of the children will not be significantly affected) to turn down a reasonable employment opportunity.

Can a stay at home mom be imputed income?

The skill-set and job qualifications of the stay at home mom. The Court cannot simply weave out of whole cloth an imputed income to a stay at home mom in a divorce case. The Court is required to look at the ability and opportunity to work and determine, based on the Court's discretion, whether income should be imputed to the stay at home mom.

Do stay at home moms go through the same stress?

by B. Robert Farzad. Stay at home moms who divorce go through the same stress and anxiety any other parent goes through in this very difficult chapter of any person's life, but with one exception. Many stay at home moms who divorce have been out of the work force for many years, especially in California long term marriages.

Does stay at home mom get child support?

Since a stay at home mom's income may affect not just child support but also spousal support, the mother has to at some point get back in the work force. If an opportunity presents itself early on, a stay at home mom going through a divorce may want to consider that opportunity earlier, rather than later.

Why is divorce so stressful?

Divorce can be an especially stressful time as a stay-at-home mom who has dedicated the past few years to raising kids and taking care of the family. By taking time away from their work life , they may be at a disadvantage. This is because it could be hard going back or relearning certain job-skills to make them competitive in the workplace again.

Do I need a joint account for divorce?

Hiring an attorney to represent you is critical so that you can secure your lifestyle after the process has completed. If you lack access to a joint account, you will need to create an individual fund from savings where you can make payments for the representation you need.

Can you sell your house after divorce?

Although you may want to continue living in the marital home for sentimental value to you and your kids, a divorce already stretches you and your spouse financially. It may be wise to have the house appraised and to know how much it is worth. In this way, if the budget needs to be limited, you can always sell the property and downsize to keep paying the bills for necessary items.

Can I get alimony if I have no prenup?

If no prenuptial agreements were arranged before the marriage , you might be entitled to part of your ex-spouse’s funds.

What is the marriage.com course?

If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.

Do housewives have credit?

If you were a housewife, it is possible that you do not have a credit rating, since any loans would have been taken out in your husband’s name. This will make things difficult when you go to rent an apartment or home or buy a car as a newly-single person.