how to quit feeling anxious when meeting my divorce lawyer

by Troy Dietrich 10 min read

To help feel less anxious about your meeting, you can always call their law office and ask questions about how long the meeting will take, how much it will cost, and what information to bring.

Full Answer

How do I deal with anxiety after divorce?

If anxiety after divorce brought about by the need for companionship becomes too much, seek solace amongst your friends and loved ones. Jay Williams works as a case manager at Quickie Divorce, one of the largest providers of uncontested divorce solutions in England and Wales.

Is divorce making you anxious?

Some changes, though, are viewed as overwhelmingly negative – and divorce is one of them. Because of this, it’s understandable that, whilst a marriage is in the process of being dissolved, those affected find themselves feeling anxious from time to time.

Should I force myself to feel after divorce?

Instead of focusing on whether you should feel or not, try focusing on when and how you express it. Depression after divorce symptoms can include numbness, in which case you don’t need to force yourself to feel.

What are the symptoms of depression after divorce?

Depression after divorce symptoms can include numbness, in which case you don’t need to force yourself to feel. However, if you do feel anger, sadness, disappointment, and anxiety (or any other emotion), look for healthy ways to express them, such as:

How do I stop my anxiety from divorce?

7 Ways to Manage Sadness and Anxiety During Your DivorceEngage in self-care. ... Get in your sweat sessions. ... Start a gratitude practice. ... Work on your inner zen. ... Connect with family and friends. ... Join a fun (and supportive) group. ... It's OK to get help around the house.

How does divorce affect anxiety?

Participants from divorced families as compared to non-divorced families reported more depression, loneliness, childhood trauma, attachment avoidance, attachment anxiety, chronic stress and less paterntal care.

What are coping techniques for anxiety?

Here are 11 tips for coping with an anxiety disorder:Keep physically active. ... Avoid alcohol and recreational drugs. ... Quit smoking, and cut back or quit drinking caffeinated beverages. ... Use stress management and relaxation techniques. ... Make sleep a priority. ... Eat healthy foods. ... Learn about your disorder.More items...•

How can I get my mind off divorce?

13 Things To Keep In Mind After A Divorce So You Can Overcome Your GriefDon't Rely Solely On Your Friends' Advice. ... Seek Out A Support System. ... Don't Use Your Kids As Messengers. ... Get Out Of The House. ... Manage Your Emotions. ... Take Control Of Your Own Attitude. ... Find A Hobby. ... Utilize Your Free Time.More items...•

What does divorce do to mental health?

Research has documented that parental divorce/separation is associated with an increased risk for child and adolescent adjustment problems, including academic difficulties (e.g., lower grades and school dropout), disruptive behaviors (e.g., conduct and substance use problems), and depressed mood2.

Can divorce give you PTSD?

Divorce can bring on PTSD, specifically symptoms like night terrors, flashbacks, and troubling thoughts about the divorce or marriage. These symptoms can become exacerbated by reminders of the divorce and seriously affect one's day to day life.

What is the 3-3-3 rule for anxiety?

Follow the 3-3-3 rule. Look around you and name three things you see. Then, name three sounds you hear. Finally, move three parts of your body — your ankle, fingers, or arm.

How can I reduce anxiety immediately?

Here are ten ways to quickly reduce your anxiety and relax:Remember to breathe. Stop for a moment and focus on breathing deeply. ... Take a mental step back. Anxiety tends to be focused on the future, so instead, try to focus on the present. ... Follow the 3-3-3 rule. ... Meditate. ... Reach out. ... Physical activity. ... Music. ... Be kind to yourself.More items...

How can I reduce anxiety naturally?

10 natural remedies for anxietyStay active. ... Steer clear of alcohol. ... Consider quitting smoking cigarettes. ... Limit caffeine intake. ... Prioritize getting a good night's rest. ... Meditate and practice mindfulness. ... Eat a balanced diet. ... Practice deep breathing.More items...

What are the emotional stages of divorce?

There are two processes in divorce. The emotional process can be broken down into 5 stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. D-A-B-D-A. Those 5 stages represent grief over the loss of a relationship and marriage.

How does divorce change a woman?

They concluded that stress leads to higher levels of inflammation in women. Women also tend to experience that stress longer than men because after the divorce they tend to take more time before remarrying as well as suffer harder financial hits. Effects other than heart attacks are pretty much the same as men.

Does divorce pain ever go away?

The end of your marriage is no different. Give yourself the time and space to heal and repair. You are not damaged, just temporarily devastated, and the recovery will come with time. Divorce is not just a matter of the heart but an experience that impacts the whole person on a multitude of levels.

What to do when you are anxious after divorce?

If anxiety after divorce brought about by the need for companionship becomes too much, seek solace amongst your friends and loved ones. Jay Williams works as a case manager at Quickie Divorce, one of the largest providers of uncontested divorce solutions in England and Wales.

How to be less anxious when saving?

If you’re feeling particularly anxious, sit down, review your monthly expenses, and work out where you can make savings relatively easily. Once you’ve done this, you’ll feel far more prepared and significantly less worried.

What happens if your ex is a high conflict?

If your ex is very high-conflict or has a personality disorder (such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder), you may need professional help to make co-parenting work and to protect yourself against parental alienation.

How to make friends with your spouse?

Secondly, remember that you’ve been making new friends throughout the course of your entire life. Consider trying a new hobby or leisure activity or restarting an old one; as long as these get you out of the house, you’ll significantly increase the likelihood of meeting new people who share at least one common interest with you.

Can a romantic relationship be forced?

In this instance, our advice is cliched but with good reason: romantic relationships cannot be forced and, tempting though it may be to try to force the issue, they must be left to occur organically. For this reason, all we can preach in this instance is patience. If anxiety after divorce brought about by the need for companionship becomes too much, seek solace amongst your friends and loved ones.

How to deal with stress from divorce?

3 tips for dealing with stress from divorce. Be gentle and thorough. Divorce is one of the toughest experiences a person can encounter, and it comes with potentially long term challenges. However, there exist strategies to help you manage the divorce stress and hardships you may combat. So, if you are wondering how to deal with emotional stress ...

How to cope with divorce stress?

Among so many ways to cope with divorce stress, choose the strategies that work for you and reiterate often. Dealing with emotional stress takes time and practice.

How to avoid overwhelming yourself with expectations?

In order to avoid overwhelming yourself with expectations, try focusing on the simple things that can help you. Find time to feel and heal . Emotions are a normal part of the process of coping with divorce. However, what we decide to do about them can be more or less desirable.

What happens if you expect too much from yourself?

If you expect too much from yourself, you will end up feeling like you failed. So just follow whatever recovery pace works best for you and give yourself time to heal.

What are the symptoms of divorce?

crying. mood swings. irritability. decreased productivity. insomnia. A study conducted to assess the daily patterns of stress and conflict in couples showed that marital conflict and stress are directly related. Therefore, the longer you were married, the longer it can take to recuperate from stress after divorce.

How to handle feelings?

Instead of focusing on whether you should feel or not, try focusing on when and how you express it .

What is the best strategy for handling a divorce?

When handling a divorce, one strategy stands out. Time and again, people talk about the importance of the support group. We are social creatures, and we need people that make us feel heard, understood, and accepted. We also need people that will make us laugh and remind us of the joys of life.

How to deal with depression and anxiety after divorce?

The best way to deal with anxiety and depression in the wake of a divorce is to prevent it. To do that, you need to practice self-care. If you have not heard of this, you may be wondering what self-care is. Well, just as you might provide care to your children and others in your life, you also need to take care of yourself both physically and mentally.

What happens when you divorce someone?

If you are going through a divorce, whether you are the one who initiated it or not, the process can be stressful, sometimes leading to anxiety and depression. After all, there may be conflicts, difficult decisions to make, legalities to deal with, and even a sense of grief as your life starts to change.

How to take care of yourself?

Instead, you can use some strategy by engaging in luxuries that help to take care of your mind and body . For example, treating yourself to a chiropractic massage can help to relieve physical tension and refresh you.

What is self care in divorce?

Finally, self-care can also involve setting boundaries with others, sometimes to protect yourself. As you go through the process of divorce, you may not always have the time and energy to be as available to others as you usually would be.

How many marriages end in divorce?

In fact, approximately 40 to 50 percent of marriages do end in divorce. All this to say that if you are divorcing, you are not alone in doing so. This is not to diminish the weight that decision and process will hold for you. However, for many people, the knowledge that there are many others struggling with the same types ...

What is mental and emotional care?

Mental and emotional self-care may include things you would be less likely to think about. However, they become crucial during difficult times such as divorce. Mental and emotional care can include any action that attends to your mental and emotional needs.

How to deal with depression?

To deal with depression, the most recommended approach is to just get active. This seems to be the exact opposite of what depression itself demands. The feeling of depression is often associated with low motivation and low energy. However, by getting active, not only do you fight against that, you also shift the energy within your body, to amp up your energy.

Why do divorce attorneys work hard?

Divorce attorneys work hard to achieve favorable and fair results for their clients. Good clients appreciate the effort, even if things don't always work out the way they hoped. Many clients are never happy, win or lose, and are not afraid to let their attorney know it.

Why do I get divorced?

If I had to bet, I would say that one of the reasons you are getting divorced, or already divorced is because of conflicts with your spouse over parenting. It's very common and one of the more stressful phases of a divorce.

How to handle a high bill with your spouse?

Try to handle little disputes with your spouse on your own. Then, if you can't resolve it, think about how bad it really is and whether it's worth it to involve your attorney. Good attorneys will tell their clients that something is not worth the cost of their time to fight it. In the end, it's the client's decision, but again...don't complain when you get a high bill.

Why can't an attorney continue to represent you?

4. He can't continue to represent you because you are not paying his bills. Attorneys are not free. They get paid for provide you with their time, knowledge and services. Now, it's often the case in a divorce that money is tight and most attorneys are sensitive to this, but they have to pay their bills too and can't work for free.

What should an attorney tell you?

Here are five things your attorney really wants to tell you, but doesn't because he wants to maintain the relationship and keep you as a client. You're better off knowing this though because it will influence your relationship with your lawyer and the value he/she provides to you. Advertisement. 1. You call too often.

What happens when you retain a lawyer?

When you retain a lawyer, whether for a divorce or another issue, the lawyer is ethically charged with holding what you say to him/her as confidential.

When should an attorney contact you?

Your attorney will contact you when he/she needs something from you. There are periods in every case where nothing is going on and there is down time. Your attorney should give you periodic updates on the status of things and it's ok to check in yourself, but daily calls are unnecessary and only run up your bill.

How to deal with divorce issues?

While it may seem difficult, coming to an agreement with your spouse can alleviate a lot of the issues of divorce and it could also save a lot of ugliness down the line. If you have kids and common friends, it's likely that you and your spouse may be in each other's lives for years, even decades to come. Those interactions aren't going to be made easier if one or both of you hired some hard-nosed lawyers and caused each other pain. If you can work it out, you and your spouse can each part ways without feeling taken advantage of by the other.

What are some secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you?

Below are twenty secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you. 1. It's going to cost more than you bargained for. It's not always the case—but more often than not, the costs associated with your divorce will often be higher than your lawyer's original estimate.

How do divorce lawyers save money?

That you'll save money and heartache by being organized. Divorce lawyers often charge by the hour. If you take responsibility for being as organized as possible, not only are you likely to walk away from your marriage with a more acceptable outcome, you'll probably save some money too.

What is mediation in divorce?

Mediation is a process whereby you and your spouse sit down with a neutral third party to negotiate several important areas of divorce. It's a low-cost way to address practically any other disagreement you and your spouse may have. While the mediator's decision is not binding, it allows a neutral party to provide their perspective on how divorce related issues should be addressed. However, mediation can only be a useful tool if you and your spouse can come to an broad agreement.

What happens if my spouse meets with an attorney?

If your spouse meets with an attorney first, it could create a conflict of interest that would not allow them to represent you. (Incidentally, this was a tactic that Tony used when mulling over divorce with Carmella in The Sopranos .) Secondly, attending several consultations can help you better understand the process, your rights, and help you to manage your expectations. Thirdly, meeting with several attorneys enables you to weed out the ones who aren't a great fit.

What does it mean to be uncontested in divorce?

An uncontested divorce means that you and your spouse agree child custody, spousal support, child support, visitation, and division of property. If you find that there is no need to fight over these things, you've already saved yourself thousands of dollars.

What is fault based divorce?

Fault-based divorce is when one spouse committed an act that gives legal justification to the ending of the marriage. These acts include adultery, a felony conviction, cruelty, or desertion.

What does it mean when a lawyer doesn't respond to messages?

A lawyer who doesn't respond to numerous messages probably isn't giving your case the attention it deserves. 6. Unfamiliarly with the Divorce Process. Many attorneys focus on one or two practice areas, such as family law or criminal law.

What happens if you miss a court date?

Missing a court deadline could result in disastrous consequences for your divorce and may even amount to malpractice. 2. Perpetually Late. It’s a bad sign if your attorney is always running late, especially if it’s to an important meeting or a court hearing.

What is the difference between assertive and take charge divorce lawyers?

11. Too Detached. You don’t want a lawyer who becomes too emotional or weepy in court.

What happens if your lawyer doesn't understand your law?

If your lawyer doesn’t understand local laws or procedures, your case may end up taking much longer than necessary, or even worse, being dismissed because your attorney failed to meet essential requirements.

What happens if your attorney forgets your 4th child?

Although you shouldn’t worry if your attorney forgets the name of your fourth child, there's a major problem if your lawyer doesn’t know anything about your case . Your attorney should remember the basics about your divorce.

What is a lawyer's dishonesty?

A lawyer’s dishonesty is a serious red flag. An attorney who lies to opposing counsel or a judge won’t hesitate to lie to you.

Is it okay to ask your attorney to check your case notes?

It’s okay if your attorney needs to check the docket or case notes to verify certain items. However, your lawyer should be able to tell you what’s happening in your divorce when you ask. 5. Unreturned Phone Calls. It's usually a bad sign if your attorney consistently fails to return your calls within a reasonable time.

When do you dump your partner?

Dumping your partner during a time of celebration (anniversary, giving birth): Some partners insist on sadistically stealing your joy.

What does it mean to lock your spouse out of the house?

Locking you partner out of the family house even though he/she isn’t a threat to you: If no abuse is involved, this is usually a needless power maneuver to escalate the divorce battle.

What are the maneuvers used in divorce?

Here are seventeen distasteful and oftentimes provoking maneuvers employed by both men and women during the divorce process: Rejecting or delaying a raise at work in order to reduce (or avoid paying) alimony or child support payments: Some people quit their jobs rather than pay their partners any money.

Can you ridicule your estranged spouse in front of your children?

Consistently ridiculing your estranged spouse in front of your children: Creating loyalty conflicts won’t serve your children well.

Can you date again after years of marriage?

Stepping back into the dating scene after years of marriage can be incredibly daunting. You may even wonder if you'll ever find another mate. These emotions and thoughts are both common and valid. However, even the most anxious single can begin connecting with others again. Once you're ready, these 8 tips should help quell your anxiety and make the process a little easier.

Can you start a new relationship while you're in the middle of a divorce?

Beginning a new relationship while you're in the middle of ending one is a recipe for disaster, at least in most cases. Trying to balance both situations at once can result in extra anxiety and emotional overload as you try to process all these different feelings. Plus, keeping a new partner up to date with the divorce proceedings on top of everything else will only add to your stress. Instead, wait until you finalize the divorce before dating.