how to help your lawyer prepare for a custody case

by Dr. Sven Bashirian DVM 5 min read

Preparing for Your California Custody Case
  1. Tell your attorney everything. ...
  2. Put together your witness list. ...
  3. Do not put your children in a difficult position. ...
  4. You can't use heresy. ...
  5. Don't be overly friendly with witnesses. ...
  6. Show empathy for your children. ...
  7. Don't lie during the case. ...
  8. Focus on what's changed.

How do you win a custody battle against a narcissist?

How Do You Win a Custody Case Against a Narcissist? Follow These 9 Steps#1 Remember That You Are Dealing With a Narcissist. ... #2 Take Note of Everything That Happens. ... #3 Stop or Limit Communication. ... #4 Contact Law Enforcement. ... #6 Ensure Your Physical Safety. ... #8 Continue Being Dependable. ... #9 Secure the Right Attorney. ... Stay Calm.More items...•Mar 16, 2021

How do you survive a custody battle?

10 Things You Need to Survive a Custody BattleA Clear Set of Goals and Targets from the Outset. ... A Level Head. ... Reputable and Empathetic Legal Representation. ... A Concise Plan of Action. ... A History of Maintaining Child Support. ... Documentation to Support Your Case. ... Open Lines of Communication with Your Ex-Partner.More items...

How a mother can lose a custody battle?

A mother who is proven to have physically and or psychologically abused her children is highly likely to lose custody of her children. Examples of physical abuse include hitting, kicking, scratching, biting, burning, physical torture, sexual abuse, or any other type of injury inflicted on the child by the mother.

What kind of questions do you ask a narcissist in child custody?

Examples of Questions an Attorney Might Ask a Narcissist During a Custody ProceedingHow many children do you have with (former spouse or partner's name)?Do you want to be in your children's lives?Since you want shared custody, what will that mean to everyone involved?Sep 26, 2019

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Gathering Documents to Show to a Child Custody Attorney

The child custody attorneys will find it helpful if you bring several documents with you, such as:

Questions to Ask

It's helpful to collect your thoughts before you head out to your first initial consultation with a child custody attorney. Write them down on paper and bring them with you. You don't want to forget to ask something. Also bring some writing material so that you can jot down the answers.

Your Ideal Child Custody Lawyer

It is a worthwhile practice to consider what qualities your ideal child custody lawyer would have. That way, you'll recognize the right one when you meet. Here are some qualities to consider:

How to file for custody of a child?

1. File the appropriate forms. What forms you need to fill out, and when you need to file them, depends on whether you are filing for custody or responding to a petition filed by the other parent. If you are asking the court for custody, you'll file a petition. If the other parent has already filed a petition, you must file an answer to ...

How to resolve a case before a judge?

Participate in mediation. Some courts require you to attempt to resolve your case using a neutral, third-party mediator before you schedule a hearing before a judge. Take mediation seriously and prepare for mediation to the same extent you would prepare for a court hearing.

What happens if you don't live with your parents?

If you no longer live with the other parent of your child and the two of you cannot agree on a plan to share parenting time and responsibilities, you may need to appear in court for a hearing. At a child custody hearing, the judge will hear from both parents (and in some cases, a representative for the child) and determine the parenting plan ...

What to do if you can't agree with your parent?

If you and the other parent are unable to come to an agreement, the court may ask the mediator to provide a report or recommendation regarding the outcome of your custody dispute. These recommendations typically carry a lot of weight, and can greatly influence the judge's ruling.

How to make a decision after hearing from both parties?

After hearing from both parties, the judge may make a ruling from the bench, or take some time to review the evidence and then make a decision. Remain polite, whatever the judge says, and refrain from openly disagreeing or protesting the judge's decision.

How long do you have to answer a petition?

If you're answering a petition, you only have a limited period of time, typically around 30 days, ...

How to avoid asking a question?

However, avoid asking a question if you don't know what the answer will be . Even if you disagree with something the other parent has said, refrain from interrupting or arguing with him or her. Speak only to the judge (or a witness, if you're questioning him or her), and only when asked to speak.

What is the main thing a court is interested in when making decisions about child custody?

When making decisions about child custody, the main thing a court is interested in involves doing what is in the best interest of your child. Judges use certain custody factors when they have to make decisions about child custody. These factors include:

When is the next custody case?

July 16, 2020. If you believe you are going to be involved in a custody case, it is important to know how to gather and organize any evidence you may need. By collecting the evidence you may need before you actually require it, you may be able to save a lot of money and vastly improve your negotiation position.

How can a witness strengthen a case?

It is important to note that all of your potential witnesses may not be able to add to your case. Keep in mind that witness testimonies help the judge determine how legitimate your claims and allegations are in your child custody case.

What are the types of evidence in custody cases?

The Types of Evidence You Should Gather. The most common types of evidence in child custody cases include: 1. All communication with your child’s other parent, such as emails, text messages, voicemails, and letters. 2. Journals. 3. Photographs. 4.

Can you anger the court if you play long messages?

You could even anger the court if you play long messages that are irrelevant. However, it is important to have all the full voicemails available, should the court request them. Also, you and your family law attorney should discuss how and when you are going to present the voicemails in court.

Do you have to show willingness to co-parent?

Willingness to Co-Parent – You must show a willingness to co-parent your child. When you are gathering your child custody evidence, you want to keep the above factors in mind and ensure your evidence is relevant and will support your case.

Can a court hear a voicemail from a child?

If you have a lot of long voicemails from your child’s other parent, you and your attorney will want to quickly get to the relevant portions of the voicemail. Oftentimes, it is not necessary for the court to hear the entire message . You could even anger the court if you play long messages that are irrelevant.

Why is custody evaluation so difficult?

The reason for this is simple: Most parents love their children, want the best for their children, and are afraid that if their concerns are not taken seriously, harm might come to their children.

What is custody evaluation?

A custody evaluation, sometimes called a parenting evaluation, can be brief and focused on a specific issue, or it can be a more comprehensive process addressing complex issues before the court. In either case, you as a lawyer can help your client prepare emotionally and with documents and facts to support their position.

What is the client's need to be prepared for?

Your client will want to be prepared to describe the future needs of the children and the preferred outcome from the evaluation. Most importantly, your client will need to be prepared for why they believe the preferred outcome is in the children’s best interests.

Why do evaluators ask questions?

An evaluator is likely to ask questions of each parent to learn how they believe their children are functioning. Most evaluators recognize that many critical and relevant issues are perceived differently by each parent. Evaluators often ask each parent about the statements and allegations made by the other parent.

What should parents gather prior to an evaluation?

Parent’s Preparation for the Evaluation. Prior to the first interview, parents should gather relevant documents, including, but not limited to, school records, therapy information, and a list of collateral witnesses.

Why should parents stay focused on the facts?

Parents should stay focused on the facts and why they are concerned for their children while also expressing emotions sufficient to the situation , whether laughing when telling funny stories about a child or crying when discussing the fear of any abuse that might have existed or might exist in the future.

Does custody evaluation include psychological testing?

Typically, when the mental health of one or both parents is questioned, a custody evaluator will include psychological testing among the several procedures used.

What do you need to do in custody case?

Throughout your custody case, you'll need to organize a lot of information. You may need to create multiple drafts of parenting plans and schedules, track your expenses, message the other parent securely, and more.

How to prepare for court?

To prepare for court, you must make a parenting plan and be able to explain why it's best for your child and situation. As you make a plan, you can: Look at custody schedule options to find the best one for your situation. See how your schedule looks in the calendar.

How to plan for parenting time?

As you work with your attorney, you can: 1 Show your ideas for parenting time schedules 2 Think about provisions and guidelines to include in your plan 3 Create plan examples so your attorney sees what you want 4 Save money in legal fees by doing some of the work on your plan yourself 5 Track actual parenting time so you know how if the schedule is being followed 6 Keep a custody journal so you know how well your plan is working 7 Print reports about problems with the plan so your attorney can modify your plan

What to do when you have an attorney?

When you have an attorney, you can be proactive so your lawyer makes a parenting plan you want to show in court. As you work with your attorney, you can: Show your ideas for parenting time schedules. Think about provisions and guidelines to include in your plan.

Can you print a parenting plan?

You can print your complete parenting plan and use your documents to organize your thoughts and explain your parenting plan clearly and succinctly in court. You should print multiple copies of your plan and schedule so everyone in court can follow along. As you present your plan, you should also explain why your plan is best for your child.

How to prepare for child custody?

The single most important thing you can do to prepare for your child custody case is to hire a family law attorney who focuses on fathers’ rights. There are a number of different factors you should consider when choosing a divorce lawyer, but first and foremost you need to make sure you find an attorney who understands the specific challenges men ...

What to know when seeking sole custody?

If you are seeking sole custody or joint custody, it is vital that you show you are invested and engaged in your child’s life. This means knowing everything from your child’s school schedule to the names of their best friends. As their dad, this is likely information you already know, but do not leave it to chance.

What is the practice area of divorce that tends to cause the most heated disagreements?

The unfortunate reality is that child custody is the practice area of divorce that tends to cause the most heated disagreements. Divorce can impact nearly every aspect of your life, but matters such as property division and spousal support pale in comparison to the relationship you have with your kids. Far too frequently, dads are relegated ...

Is divorce stressful for fathers?

But no matter how stressful your divorce gets or how frustrated you get with your ex, do not rant and rave to your child.

Can a judge tell if a father is intimately involved with his child's life?

As their dad, this is likely information you already know, but do not leave it to chance. A judge can tell the difference between a father who is intimately involved with his child’s life versus a dad who is a passive participant in it.

Is child custody a divorce?

There are numerous gender stereotypes that work against fathers in all family law matters, but they seem especially pronounced in child custody issues. The unfortunate reality is that child custody is the practice area of divorce ...

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Evaluator’s Preparation For The Evaluation

Parent’s Preparation For The Evaluation

  • Prior to the first interview, parents should gather relevant documents, including, but not limited to, school records, therapy information, and a list of collateral witnesses. Where there are specific complex issues, such as relocation, domestic violence, child abuse, etc., your client will want to gather supporting documents and records from the c...
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Your Client’S Emotions

  • One of the biggest challenges for parents going through a custody evaluation is managing their emotions. The reason for this is simple: Most parents love their children, want the best for their children, and are afraid that if their concerns are not taken seriously, harm might come to their children. At the same time, many parents going through a custody evaluation are confused, angr…
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Psychological Testing

  • There is considerable controversy about the use and misuse of psychological testing in custody evaluations. Typically, when the mental health of one or both parents is questioned, a custody evaluator will include psychological testing among the several procedures used. Such testing would usually be done by a psychologist, but sometimes psychiatrists who do custody evaluatio…
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Follow-Up Interviews

  • A critical part of the evaluation process is the interviews with each parent. An evaluator is likely to ask questions of each parent to learn how they believe their children are functioning. Most evaluators recognize that many critical and relevant issues are perceived differently by each parent. Evaluators often ask each parent about the statements and allegations made by the othe…
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After The Report Is Submitted

  • You and your client will need to consider how the evaluator conducted the evaluation and why the evaluator reached their findings and conclusions. Be open to how/why the recommendations are in the best interests of the children. If an evaluator appeared to use a thorough process, in depth and with breadth, especially with the relevant and critical issues, you might realize that your clien…
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Conclusion

  • Going through a child custody or parenting evaluation can be stressful for your client. Mental and procedural preparation can help reduce, though not eliminate, the stress. From a less-stressed position, a parent can provide the evaluator necessary facts and details and stay focused on the well-being of the children. By telling the truth, by focusing on each parent’s strengths and weakn…
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Useful Sources

  • Robert A. Simon & Philip M. Stahl, Forensic Psychology Consultation in Family Law Litigation: A Handbook for Work Product Review, Case Preparation, and Expert Testimony.2d ed. (ABA Family Law Section, 2020). Philip M. Stahl, Conducting Child Custody Evaluations: From Basic to Complex Issues (Sage Publications, 2010).
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