how to deal with your husbands divorce lawyer when you do not havve one

by Dr. Nya Wisoky 6 min read

Behave respectfully toward your spouse. Have self-respect as well. Don't engage in arguments. Don't take the bait if your spouse tries to get you to argue. You may even have to walk away. (If your spouse claims that you "always walk away," state that you would be happy to stay and have a civil conversation. Then do it.) Get help.

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What do I do if my husband doesn't want a divorce?

Sep 14, 2021 · In most states, your spouse does not have to grant you a divorce or agree to a divorce. In most states, if one person wants a divorce, there will be a divorce. You may want to check in about this ...

Will my spouse ever give me a divorce?

If you list “fault-based” reasons for your divorce, you will have to show that your spouse did something that caused your marriage to fail. Common fault grounds include adultery, abuse, addiction, abandonment, and imprisonment. If your evidence of misconduct is weak, you could face an uphill battle in your case. Remember, you need to convince a judge that your …

What happens when a spouse refuses to get a divorce?

Aug 04, 2016 · Specifically, you can deny your spouse’s request to cancel a deposition for the third time and file a formal motion, asking a judge to issue sanctions (fines or other punishments) against your spouse. You may also be able to recoup …

Do I need a lawyer for my divorce?

Jan 04, 2019 · 4. That you'll save money and heartache by being organized. Divorce lawyers often charge by the hour. If you take responsibility for being as organized as possible, not only are you likely to walk away from your marriage with a more acceptable outcome, you'll probably save some money too.. One of the best and simplest ways to do that is to start a divorce file.

Does your divorce lawyer have to be local?

When it comes to legal separation and custody, having your attorney nearer is simply better. You want to make sure that the attorney you choose is local and will be available for court appearances and other legal matters whenever necessary. Unfortunately, emergency motions and filings will need immediate attention.Jun 28, 2021

What happens if one partner doesn't want a divorce?

While the best-case scenario is that the two spouses will mutually negotiate a divorce agreement, you have options if the other spouse simply refuses to talk about a divorce. The law does not bind you to the marriage forever if that is not your wish. For various reasons, some people just will not agree to a divorce.Feb 22, 2021

What do I do if my husband doesn't want to divorce me?

If your spouse won't engage in your divorce, then your only option for ending your marriage will have to be to go to court. Mediation will be a waste of time because your spouse won't participate. Collaborative divorce won't work. You will have to litigate your divorce.

Can court Force husband to stay with wife?

Under no law the court can compel or force a husband to take back his wife. No court can force co- habitation between a couple. If in the mediation proceedings it is even suggested to the husband to take back his wife he can refuse.

Key points

Even if a spouse doesn’t want a divorce, most come to accept that it's inevitable if one spouse is determined to divorce.

It is unusual for both spouses to arrive at the decision to divorce together

In most states, your spouse does not have to grant you a divorce or agree to a divorce.

What can you do if your spouse does not want the divorce?

If you have been unhappy in your marriage or considering divorce, let your spouse know that you are unhappy and would like to work on the relationship. Allow your spouse to work with you to repair the relationship. Don’t wait for a crisis to suggest marital counseling. Instead, offer counseling at the first sign of trouble.

What are the reasons for divorce?

If you list “fault-based” reasons for your divorce, you will have to show that your spouse did something that caused your marriage to fail. Common fault grounds include adultery, abuse, addiction, abandonment, and imprisonment. If your evidence of misconduct is weak, you could face an uphill battle in your case.

Is the internet secure?

The Internet is not necessarily secure and emails sent through this site could be intercepted or read by third parties. One of the most painful elements of a contested divorce is the emotional toll it takes on families. This can be greatly intensified when one of the spouses doesn’t want the marriage to end.

Can an obstinate husband stop divorce?

An obstinate husband or wife can slow things down and make the process more difficult but can’t stop divorce from happening. The fact is that as long as you can prove your legal grounds (reasons) for the divorce, at some point, a judge will grant you a final judgment, which officially ends your marriage.

Does cooperation require spouses to like each other?

Cooperation doesn’t require the spouses to necessarily like each other. Rather, it’s a realization on both their parts that setting aside their differences—as much as possible—is really in their best interests. The benefits of this mindset are magnified when children are involved.

Do you have to convince a judge that your allegations against your spouse are true?

This could be a problem if you have no witnesses, or no documented evidence of your spouse’s wrongdoing, especially since your spouse will undoubtedly do everything possible to contest your claims.

Can a resistent spouse give you divorce?

There’s really no way that one spouse can give—or not give—the other spouse a divorce. By its very nature, divorce isn’t something that can be given; it’s not a thing—it’s a process.

How to speed up divorce?

For some couples, divorce is often a long and painful process. But it doesn’t have to be. Your divorce can move forward amicably and at a reasonable pace. Even spouses who drag their feet in a divorce don’t necessarily control the process. You and your attorney can discuss ways to get your divorce going ...

What happens if you don't respond to a divorce petition?

Your spouse’s failure to respond will be treated as an agreement to your terms. You’ll have to prove to the court that you provided your spouse with proper notice of the divorce.

How long does it take for a divorce to be uncontested?

However, in most cases one spouse files and serves a divorce complaint and the other spouse has 20 or so days to file a response.

Where do settlement conferences take place?

Settlement conferences typically take place at the courthouse in the judge’s chambers. Your spouse may take things more seriously if a judge is involved. If you’re dealing with a spouse trying to delay your divorce, you need to stand firm and continue to push forward.

Do divorces take time?

Couples with more complicated assets and custody issues usually have longer and more expensive divorces. Some aspects of a divorce simply take time. For example, in many states there’s a mandatory waiting period in a contested divorce.

Can a divorce petition be filed in your favor?

However, your spouse’s failure to file a response to the divorce petition can actually work in your favor. After you’ve served your spouse with a divorce complaint and the response deadline has passed, you can seek a default judgment. In a default judgment, a judge can grant you exactly what you requested in the divorce petition.

What are some secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you?

Below are twenty secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you. 1. It's going to cost more than you bargained for. It's not always the case—but more often than not, the costs associated with your divorce will often be higher than your lawyer's original estimate.

How to choose a divorce attorney?

There are several things to look for when choosing a divorce attorney. You want to choose someone who is experienced, respected, competent, and affordable. If they are proving to not be a good fit though, change them. Because you can, even if the reason is that you don't get on with him or her. Bear in mind however that if an attorney has worked on your case, you'll have to pay her/him for their time. Also, it might damage your case to change attorney's when you are close to a court ordered deadline, so only do it after careful consideration.

How do divorce lawyers save money?

That you'll save money and heartache by being organized. Divorce lawyers often charge by the hour. If you take responsibility for being as organized as possible, not only are you likely to walk away from your marriage with a more acceptable outcome, you'll probably save some money too.

What is mediation in divorce?

Mediation is a process whereby you and your spouse sit down with a neutral third party to negotiate several important areas of divorce. It's a low-cost way to address practically any other disagreement you and your spouse may have. While the mediator's decision is not binding, it allows a neutral party to provide their perspective on how divorce related issues should be addressed. However, mediation can only be a useful tool if you and your spouse can come to an broad agreement.

What does it mean to be uncontested in divorce?

An uncontested divorce means that you and your spouse agree child custody, spousal support, child support, visitation, and division of property. If you find that there is no need to fight over these things, you've already saved yourself thousands of dollars.

What is fault based divorce?

Fault-based divorce is when one spouse committed an act that gives legal justification to the ending of the marriage. These acts include adultery, a felony conviction, cruelty, or desertion.

How to start a divorce?

One of the best and simplest ways to do that is to start a divorce file. In this file, keep every bit of paper that could have an effect on how your divorce proceedings. Gather copies of all important financial documents and access to all account information. Keep it organized and easy to navigate.

When it comes to approaching a husband who doesn't want to divorce, it’s important to remember that you

When it comes to approaching a husband who doesn't want to divorce, it’s important to remember that you’ve already had plenty of time to deal with the idea of your marriage ending.

What happens if your husband doesn't want to divorce?

If your husband doesn't want to divorce, it can be incredibly frustrating for a wife. But let's get one thing straight right off the top... If a woman wants a divorce, both spouses are getting a divorce. Wives don't need their husbands' permission to divorce them.

How does divorce affect your emotions?

Divorce is stressful and can trigger a whirlwind of intense emotions – for both the husband and wife. An individual therapist or couples counselor can help you sort through how you feel and help you process your emotions.

Why are some husbands reluctant to divorce?

Some husbands are hesitant to divorce because they're very practical and their reluctance comes from believing it's cheaper to stay together. While it's true that two households are more expensive to run than one, people living apart tend to be more aware of their finances and conscientious of their spending.

What to do if your husband won't cooperate?

If your husband won't cooperate with divorce, you'll need to ask questions so you can understand why he's reluctant in the first place. Because there are always reasons. To divorce your husband, you'll need to counter his objections so he will (hopefully) agree to move forward towards peacefully ending the marriage.

Why don't husbands want divorce?

Some husbands don't want to divorce because they believe it's important to stay together for the kids - at any cost. They believe divorce causes long-term damage to children.

Why is it important to be compassionate?

It's important to be compassionate, but firm, because if you aren't, you'll give him false hope that things can get back on track, which won't do either of you any good. Acknowledge that while he may not have had a choice in the decision to divorce, he can have a say in its outcome.

Why do divorce attorneys work hard?

Divorce attorneys work hard to achieve favorable and fair results for their clients. Good clients appreciate the effort, even if things don't always work out the way they hoped. Many clients are never happy, win or lose, and are not afraid to let their attorney know it.

Why do I get divorced?

If I had to bet, I would say that one of the reasons you are getting divorced, or already divorced is because of conflicts with your spouse over parenting. It's very common and one of the more stressful phases of a divorce.

What should an attorney tell you?

Here are five things your attorney really wants to tell you, but doesn't because he wants to maintain the relationship and keep you as a client. You're better off knowing this though because it will influence your relationship with your lawyer and the value he/she provides to you. Advertisement. 1. You call too often.

What happens when you retain a lawyer?

When you retain a lawyer, whether for a divorce or another issue, the lawyer is ethically charged with holding what you say to him/her as confidential.

Do attorneys charge hourly?

Most attorneys charge on an hourly basis, which is stated in your retainer agreement. Clients pay for an attorney's time. Your attorney is not your therapist, although I play one on t.v. I always tell clients I will talk to you as long as you want, but don't be surprised when you get the bill.

When should an attorney contact you?

Your attorney will contact you when he/she needs something from you. There are periods in every case where nothing is going on and there is down time. Your attorney should give you periodic updates on the status of things and it's ok to check in yourself, but daily calls are unnecessary and only run up your bill.

Do divorce attorneys get paid?

Attorneys are not free. They get paid for provide you with their time, knowledge and services. Now, it's often the case in a divorce that money is tight and most attorneys are sensitive to this, but they have to pay their bills too and can't work for free. You can't expect them to work for free.

What does it mean to divorce a narcissist husband?

Divorcing a narcissist husband who is the higher income earner means you are likely up against bullying and intimidation. This can be especially true if you have been a long time homemaker, stay at home mom or earn very little income.

What happens if a narcissist husband refuses to cooperate?

When a narcissist husband fails or refuses to cooperate in providing financial information, California law allows you to compel him or her to provide the information. These motions to compel as they are sometimes called alert the court of your narcissist husband's lack of cooperation.

What does it mean when a narcissist husband doesn't pay support?

The narcissist husband's failure to pay support or delaying payment. Failing to pay support or delaying it is a way to exert control. It comes in many forms and includes unlawful deductions from support that were not court ordered.

What is a discovery request?

Discovery is the formal request for information and documents regarding the marital estate. This tactic forces you, as the lesser income earner, to file a request with the court to compel the information you need and therefore incur attorney fees that should be avoided.

Should a wife respond to a narcissist husband?

The wife should not respond "in kind" when divorcing a narcissist husband. The wrong way and unfortunately the typical way many wives respond is "in kind", especially in high asset divorce cases. These wives meet unreasonable and aggressive behavior with their own unreasonable and aggressive behavior. This "fight fire with fire" approach ...

Can a narcissist husband be sanctioned in California?

California law also gives the court the discretion to monetarily sanction the narcissist husband for the attorney's fees and costs he caused. This can be a powerful deterrent because you will have turned your narcissist husband's uncooperative conduct against him by having him pay for his misconduct.

What to do if your spouse wants divorce?

What to Do If Your Spouse Wants a Divorce. Try these proactive steps to repair your rift and help your partner change their mind about divorce. Ultimately, the goal is not only to avoid divorce, but to improve the health of your relationship. Act as though you will move forward with confidence.

How to get your spouse to stop arguing?

Have self-respect as well. Do not engage in arguments . Don't take the bait if your spouse tries to get you to argue. You may even have to walk away. (If your spouse claims that you “always walk away,” state that you would be happy to stay and have a civil conversation.

How to save your spouse?

These actions can make it hard to meet your goal of saving the marriage, so work hard to avoid them. Acting out: Do not go wild. Stay away from drugs, alcohol, the bar scene, and flirting (or more) with others. If you really want to get your spouse back, these behaviors will not do it. Begging: Do not plead, pursue, or pressure your spouse.

How to make your spouse feel better?

Keep up with your appearance. You may feel very down and bad about yourself, but ignoring basic hygiene will make this worse (as well as being unappealing to your spouse). Let your spouse see you as content. Your mood will be fluctuating, but find an outlet for difficult feelings that isn't your spouse.

How to not act like a sad puppy?

In fact, do not act like a sad puppy at all. Reminiscing: Do not try to get your spouse to look at your wedding pictures , talk about your early dating days, etc. Spying: Do not spy on your spouse by following them in your car, checking their emails, cell phone, and bills, and so on.

Who is Marni Feuerman?

Marni Feuerman is a psychotherapist in private practice who has been helping couples with marital issues for more than 27 years. Learn about our editorial process. Marni Feuerman, LCSW, LMFT. Updated on February 05, 2020.

Is it good to make positive changes in marriage?

Making positive changes, regardless of whether your marriage ultimately works out or not, is always a good idea. Chances are there are some behaviors or traits you have that would be problematic in most relationships. Working through them will help improve your ability to connect and communicate with a romantic partner (whether it be your current spouse or someone new).

How to stop divorce in the long term?

That's not a good alternative, nor a good strategy to stop a divorce in the long term. To skip the “poor me” phase, flip to “proud me.”. Remind yourself of the positive qualities you can bring to a marriage, and figure out how to show them in their full colors. Pretty soon, you’ll start believing in yourself more.

How to change your self defeating beliefs?

Use “temporal tapping,” a technique for changing self-defeating beliefs. With the three longest fingers of your right hand, tap in a circle around your right ear. Tap from front to back, down and around, completing a circle, for as many as 10 circles. As you tap, say aloud, “I deserve to be loved. I am lovable.