Here are some practical tips for dealing with a difficult lawyer:
Control the Conversation by Reframing The difficult attorney likes to make demands and inflammatory statements. He likes to be in control of the conversation. You can flip the script by using a reframe. Change complaints to requests.
A lawyer who knows the facts of his case will not veer off course by joining issues with an opposing counsel on extraneous matters. Be Courageous. A Difficult opposing counsel can sometimes be downright intimidating. But most experienced lawyers have learned that being courageous is one of the best ways to deal with them.
In most cases, all the difficult opposing counsel wants to achieve is to distract you and the court. One way opposing lawyers distract their opponents by filing incessant motions to frustrate a matter. Some lawyers are easily distracted by allowing every issue raised by an opposing lawyer to become a dispute.
Sometimes that difficult attorney is more difficult with keyboard courage and the angry voice you use when you read their e-mails. Perhaps word choice or shortness in response to you is increasing your conflict.
Here are some practical tips for dealing with a difficult lawyer: 1) Be Prepared – As the boy scouts say, “Always be prepared.”. More often than not, the difficult lawyer is trying to distract you from effectively representing your client. No matter what that lawyer does, focus on your client, the facts, and the law.
2) The Obstructionist – This lawyer is negative and uncooperative about everything. No matter what you suggest to resolve the case or to even make the trial of the case easier for everyone, this lawyer will disagree. As much as this lawyer disagrees, he or she has no alternate solutions of their own. Phone calls and correspondence to this lawyer go unanswered. Also, even the most mundane of tasks, such as scheduling depositions, turns into a complete nightmare. Overall, this lawyer will do everything they can (mostly by doing nothing) to make sure the case drags on indefinitely and expensively.
1) The Courthouse Bully – This type of lawyer is rude to you and your client, they make threats, and they attempt to control all aspects of the case. This lawyer will shout at you and your staff over the phone if they don’t get what they want when they want it. He or she will threaten you and your client with sanctions for your “frivolous” claims. No matter how awful their client may be, they remind you that their client is a saint who is being wrongfully persecuted by you and your client. Also, in court, this lawyer will divert the court’s attention from the case itself by accusing you and your client of every misdeed imaginable. This lawyer will do whatever it takes to muddy the judicial waters and the expense of everyone, including themselves and their own reputation.
The difficult attorney likes to make demands and inflammatory statements. He likes to be in control of the conversation. You can flip the script by using a reframe. Change complaints to requests. Instead of focusing on what they are dissatisfied with, focus the conversation on what it is they would like to have happen. Restate positions as interests. They may be demanding one thing, but what are they really looking for? Have a conversation about how to satisfy both sides’ interests. Define individual goals as joint ones. You will automatically change a competitive situation into a collaborative one. Change the focus from the past to the future. Next time opposing counsel says, “I’ll expect an answer by the end of the day of the day.” You can say, “I am glad that we both want to have this matter settled quickly.” Then negotiate a timeline that works for both of you.
Of course, this isn’t to say you should just give in, but emphasizing points of agreement that exist is a great way to disarm an opponent. Pointing out common ground in front of a judge will make you look more reasonable than the attorney that is trying to “win” every point. By taking areas of common ground off the battlefield, you will also be able to increase efficiency in litigation, which makes clients happy.
The reason you find interactions with opposing counsel unpleasant is because of what you’re thinking about their behavior ( it’s unnecessary, it’s obnoxious, it’s mean). But that’s good news, because it’s also the solution to changing how those interactions feel. You can either resign yourself to stress, anxiety, and heartburn every time you have to interact with them, or you can start paying attention to what you are thinking and feeling when opposing counsel calls, emails, or tracks you down in person.
The good news is that means you can learn to be like them if you want . You just have to change the way you’re thinking. Imagine how you would feel about opposing counsel if your thoughts were more like the following:
But here’s the problem: Opposing counsel isn’t going to change. Unlike your spouse or your friends or maybe even your colleagues, you have zero claim on this person’s loyalty or affections.
ALWAYS refer/blame it on his or her client. It achieves two goals: first and foremost, upholds professionalism over the other side, and secondly, it will inevitably, lead to his or her client questioning him or her as to why they are being blamed in front of the Judge-which clients hate. (Noting that some clients LOVE that their attorneys are jerks-just like in the movies, DO NOT give them the satisfaction!) . Resist the impulse in Court to address opposing counsel directly – always address through the Court. It will keep you more civil and calmer (and it’s what the Court wants anyway).
If a lawyer makes faces and sighs and annoys you during a deposition or over objects, try something like not acknowledging or, if it gets out of hand (with the rolling of eyes or repeated and constant sighing), simply note it on the record. Resist fighting on the record – never translates well on paper.
Some cases are harder than others because of the personalities involved —this will never change. Serve subpoenas on all relevant persons/entities: prove your case and disprove their case as if Counsel were not involved. Depending on how bad the situation, maybe ask for costs of doing their work for them.
Instead of responding point by point to a letter filled with false allegations, just respond with, “I disagree with your position and my failure to respond does not in any way indicate that I agree with the allegations set forth in your correspondence”.
Many are not prepared because they believe it is their own unique manner of practicing law. Quote their very same objections when you can.
While many people have the instinct to fight fire with fire, and to right every wrong, you might be surprised how judges truly hate that approach! While a few judges don’t mind truly over-aggressive attorneys, the world is changing, and those attorneys, who will never change, are either retiring or losing their licenses to practice.
Every once in awhile, the Maryland State Bar Association will publish helpful lists. I came by this one from this past spring. We all know that many times, the attorneys are the cause of the problem, not the solution. Here are a few times in dealing with them.
I sometimes speak before lawyers groups on dealing with conflict. It’s all around us in our work, almost every day. Most lawyers dislike it. It’s unnatural and it wears on you.
The simplest use of the Chair Back to deal with a difficult lawyer is to actually place chairs (I have typically used three) in a jagged stair step fashion behind the first chair. Each chair represents a deeper level of truth.
When you do this exercise your animosity begins to melt away–if you let it–and you can see the “difficult” lawyer for who they really are. I tried it again recently with the lawyer I mentioned above and her sniping now flows over me like water over a stone.
I imagine there are a few dozen articles on the internet about “dealing with difficult opposing counsel.” There’s probably some good advice in some of them, but I thought I’d offer my own, as, well, I deal with difficult lawyers and have found a way to cast them into the abyss of irrelevancy, causing them to either question their own disgraceful way of practicing law, or wonder how to proceed next..
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Going back to the “I disagree” story, last year, I received a lengthy email from a lawyer telling me what I was going to do and when. He used all the buzz words and phrases: “immediately,” “by everything, I mean everything,” and “if I don’t hear from you in 35 seconds…”