how to deal with a lawyer husband

by Kelli Bradtke 6 min read

Talk about the issue in more depth. If your spouse doesn't accept that he's in lawyer mode – or worse, tries to cross-examine you on why you think that – back up and explain what you're looking for in a spouse and conversation partner.

Full Answer

How can I help my spouse become a better lawyer?

If you knew your spouse before he started practicing law or working in a stressful environment, remind him of early moments that demonstrate the behavior you're looking for. Here are a few reminders that people in "lawyer mode" often need to hear:

Can a husband who is a lawyer get a divorce?

When divorcing a husband who is a lawyer, if you expect him to be unreasonable, then you must also expect that he will not do the right thing when given the opportunity. That means he will be unreasonable in settlement negotiations which may include the child custody issues as well as support and division of assets.

What are some things you are afraid of your lawyer husband?

You may be afraid your lawyer husband will be able to take advantage of you, and use tricks up his sleeve to try to hurt you in the divorce process. "I feel paralyzed. I don't know what to do." Most of what you fear comes from the unknown.

What to do if you are unhappy with your lawyer?

If you are unhappy with your lawyer, it is important to determine the reasons. If, after a realistic look, you believe that you have a genuine complaint about your legal representation, there are several things you can do. This section will outline those options and some issues to be aware of when dealing with such disagreements.

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Are lawyers good in relationships?

8. Lawyers love commitment. This one is big: lawyers love hard facts both in work and love, so they want to be in a solid relationship. They love to be clear about their dating status and will want to have their significant other write on the calendar when their anniversary is.

What should you not say to a lawyer?

Five things not to say to a lawyer (if you want them to take you..."The Judge is biased against me" Is it possible that the Judge is "biased" against you? ... "Everyone is out to get me" ... "It's the principle that counts" ... "I don't have the money to pay you" ... Waiting until after the fact.

How do you have a relationship with a lawyer?

To improve your overall experience, follow these important rules for building a solid client-attorney relationship:Choose the Right Lawyer. No lawyer is thoroughly knowledgeable about every type of law. ... Prepare Yourself. ... Set Expectations. ... Don't Waste Time. ... Accept Advice, but Understand the Attorney Role. ... Pay Your Bill.

Do lawyers usually marry other lawyers?

Unsurprisingly, it turns out that most lawyers marry other lawyers. But male lawyers also marry schoolteachers, secretaries, and miscellaneous managers. And lesbian lawyers marry people in other computer occupations.

Why do lawyers ignore you?

If your attorney is not experienced or efficient, they may have missed a deadline or made another mistake and aren't willing to confess their error. There could also be some bad news that is entirely outside of the attorney's control.

What is the most common complaint against lawyers?

Perhaps the most common kinds of complaints against lawyers involve delay or neglect. This doesn't mean that occasionally you've had to wait for a phone call to be returned. It means there has been a pattern of the lawyer's failing to respond or to take action over a period of months.

Are lawyers more likely to cheat?

Lawyers of both sexes are more likely to cheat. According to Bustle, there is a strong correlation between power and confidence, and extremely confident people are more likely to cheat.

Do lawyers lie?

In California, the Rules of Professional Conduct govern a lawyer's ethical duties. The law prohibits lawyers from engaging in dishonesty.

Can lawyers sleep with their clients?

It's now a violation of legal ethics in California for a lawyer to have sex with a client, unless their intimate relationship preceded their professional relationship.

What type of people do lawyers marry?

Female lawyers and judges are most likely to marry male lawyers and judges. Male lawyers and judges are most likely to marry female lawyers and judges.

What career has the highest divorce rate?

First-Line Enlisted Military Supervisors Individuals under the age of 30 have a 30% divorce rate, making it the most divorced profession, according to Zippia's research. Although there is no singular answer for this trend, some reasons for divorce could include job stress and longer deployments.

What profession makes the best husband?

Jobs With The Highest Marriage RatesFirst-Line Supervisors Of Fire Fighting And Prevention.Dentists.Architectural And Engineering Managers.First-Line Enlisted Military Supervisors.Podiatrists.Chiropractors.Nurse Practitioners And Nurse Midwives.Radiation Therapists.More items...•

What do divorce lawyers do?

A talented divorce lawyer will help you manage divorce's complex emotions. Your divorce lawyer is not your therapist and will not tell you how you should cope with the issues. For that, you need a psychologist or a counselor. However, your divorce lawyer should advise you when your decisions are very bad ones and, unless you change the course, can send you down a dangerous road.

What to do if husband refuses to disclose divorce?

Disclosures are one of the most important parts of any divorce case. If your husband refuses to make proper disclosures, you must, through your own attorney, put him on notice of the defects and mandate that he make proper, accurate and complete disclosures.

Why is courage important in divorce?

Courage is a necessary part of any divorce. You must have the courage to protect your legal rights as well as protect your children's best interest. If the lawyer husband you're divorcing believes that you will be easy to pressure and you will break under that pressure, your negotiation leverage maybe gone and, worse yet, you may end up with results with which you will not be happy.

Why do I feel scared when I get married?

It is because you probably felt scared and intimidated during your marriage by someone who you considered or perhaps still consider your intellectual superior.

Does a divorce lawyer know the local judges?

Unless he is a practicing family law attorney, I highly doubt he knows the local judges who handle the family law cases. Even if he does, so what? An experienced, local divorce lawyer knows the style of those same judges.

Do you want your divorce case to settle?

You want your divorce case to settle. You are not alone. You would prefer that the case does not go to court. You are again not alone. But, something else you have in common with every other wife who goes through a divorce case is the decision you have to make, at some point. If the case does not settle, whether or not you like it, your case will go to court.

Can you roll over and play dead for your husband?

There is one truth however to all of the things we have mentioned so far. You cannot roll over and play dead for him. If you intend to give up your legal rights, do whatever he wants, follow whatever he says or let your fear grip you so that you do not hire the best lawyer for your divorce and child custody case and listen to his or her advice, then your lawyer husband may very well get away with all of the things we have mentioned above.

What are the highest responsibilities of a lawyer?

Among the highest responsibilities a lawyer has is his or her obligation to a client. A number of strict rules and commonsense guidelines define these responsibilities.

What is the relationship between a lawyer and a client?

In a lawyer-client relationship, acting responsibly involves duties on both sides—and often involves some hard work. You have a right to expect competent representation from your lawyer. However, every case has at least two sides. If you are unhappy with your lawyer, it is important to determine the reasons.

Why should a lawyer refuse to take a case?

Unnecessary delays can often damage a case. If, because of overwork or any other reason, a lawyer is unable to spend the required time and energy on a case , the lawyer should refuse from the beginning to take the case. A lawyer must be able to communicate effectively with a client.

What to do if you have a complaint about a lawyer?

If you believe you have a valid complaint about how your lawyer has handled your case, inform the organization that governs law licenses in your state. Usually this is the disciplinary board of the highest court in your state. In some states, the state bar association is responsible for disciplining lawyers.

How should a lawyer act in both professional and private life?

How a lawyer should act, in both professional and private life, is controlled by the rules of professional conduct in the state or states in which he or she is licensed to practice. These rules are usually administered by the state’s highest court through its disciplinary board.

What is the job of a lawyer?

Communication. A lawyer must be able to communicate effectively with a client. When a client asks for an explanation, the lawyer must provide it within a reasonable time. A lawyer must inform a client about changes in a case caused by time and circumstances. Fees.

What to do if your lawyer is not responding to your complaint?

If your lawyer is unwilling to address your complaints, consider taking your legal affairs to another lawyer. You can decide whom to hire (and fire) as your lawyer. However, remember that when you fire a lawyer, you may be charged a reasonable amount for the work already done.

What happens if my spouse meets with an attorney?

If your spouse meets with an attorney first, it could create a conflict of interest that would not allow them to represent you. (Incidentally, this was a tactic that Tony used when mulling over divorce with Carmella in The Sopranos .) Secondly, attending several consultations can help you better understand the process, your rights, and help you to manage your expectations. Thirdly, meeting with several attorneys enables you to weed out the ones who aren't a great fit.

What are some secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you?

Below are twenty secrets that a divorce lawyer may not want to share with you. 1. It's going to cost more than you bargained for. It's not always the case—but more often than not, the costs associated with your divorce will often be higher than your lawyer's original estimate.

How do divorce lawyers save money?

That you'll save money and heartache by being organized. Divorce lawyers often charge by the hour. If you take responsibility for being as organized as possible, not only are you likely to walk away from your marriage with a more acceptable outcome, you'll probably save some money too.

How to deal with divorce issues?

While it may seem difficult, coming to an agreement with your spouse can alleviate a lot of the issues of divorce and it could also save a lot of ugliness down the line. If you have kids and common friends, it's likely that you and your spouse may be in each other's lives for years, even decades to come. Those interactions aren't going to be made easier if one or both of you hired some hard-nosed lawyers and caused each other pain. If you can work it out, you and your spouse can each part ways without feeling taken advantage of by the other.

What is mediation in divorce?

Mediation is a process whereby you and your spouse sit down with a neutral third party to negotiate several important areas of divorce. It's a low-cost way to address practically any other disagreement you and your spouse may have. While the mediator's decision is not binding, it allows a neutral party to provide their perspective on how divorce related issues should be addressed. However, mediation can only be a useful tool if you and your spouse can come to an broad agreement.

What does it mean to be uncontested in divorce?

An uncontested divorce means that you and your spouse agree child custody, spousal support, child support, visitation, and division of property. If you find that there is no need to fight over these things, you've already saved yourself thousands of dollars.

How to choose a divorce attorney?

There are several things to look for when choosing a divorce attorney. You want to choose someone who is experienced, respected, competent, and affordable. If they are proving to not be a good fit though, change them. Because you can, even if the reason is that you don't get on with him or her. Bear in mind however that if an attorney has worked on your case, you'll have to pay her/him for their time. Also, it might damage your case to change attorney's when you are close to a court ordered deadline, so only do it after careful consideration.

What to do if you lost money because of a lawyer?

If you lost money because of the way your lawyer handled your case, consider suing for malpractice. Know, however, that it is not an easy task. You must prove two things:

Where to go if you are not satisfied with your lawyer?

If you're not satisfied with your lawyer's strategy decisions or with the arguments the lawyer has been making on your behalf, you may even want to go to the law library and do some reading to educate yourself about your legal problem.

What is the agency responsible for licensing and disciplining lawyers?

Every state has an agency responsible for licensing and disciplining lawyers. In most states, it's the bar association; in others, the state supreme court. The agency is most likely to take action if your lawyer has failed to pay you money that you won in a settlement or lawsuit, made some egregious error such as failing to show up in court, didn't do legal work you paid for, committed a crime, or has a drug or alcohol abuse problem.

What to do if your lawyer doesn't respond?

If your lawyer does not respond, or subsequent meetings or conversations are not fruitful, consider suggesting mediation to work out your communication problems if you still want this lawyer to represent you. A bad deskside manner doesn't mean that the lawyer isn't an excellent lawyer, and it can be difficult to find a new one in the middle of a case.

What is the defense of a lawyer who is sued for malpractice?

A common defense raised by attorneys sued for malpractice is that the client waited too long to sue. And because this area of the law can be surprisingly complicated and confusing, there's often plenty of room for argument. Legal malpractice cases are expensive to pursue, so do some investigating before you dive in.

What to do if your lawyer is unresponsive?

If the lawyer is unresponsive and the matter involves a lawsuit, go to the courthouse and look at your case file, which contains all the papers that have actually been filed with the court. If you've hired a new lawyer, ask her for help in getting your file. Also, ask your state bar association for assistance.

What to do if you can't find out what has been done?

If you can't find out what has (and has not) been done, you need to get hold of your file. You can read it in your lawyer's office or ask your lawyer to send you copies of everything -- all correspondence and everything filed with the court or recorded with a government agency.

What is it like to be a family lawyer?

Dealing with difficult clients and complex cases is not unusual for lawyers – especially family lawyers. It can be tricky to handle high conflict cases or clients who are stubborn, aggravated, high-maintenance, or upset.

What to say when a client asks for something you can't do?

For example, if a client asks you for something you can’t do (legally, ethically, or in the client’s time frame), you can reply with, “No, but we can do this instead and achieve similar results.” Similarly, if a client has a labor-intensive request they want to be completed yesterday, you can say, “Yes – if we do X, Y, and Z first.”

What to say when a client is angry?

If your client is angry, be sure to apologize – even if you are not at fault. Saying, “I’m sorry that you are feeling so frustrated/ angry/upset,” can make them feel heard while not admitting blame for how they’re feeling.

Why are clients so difficult?

Difficult clients are fairly common because, for many, they’re in a highly stressful situation. The stakes are high financially and personally, especially for people going through a major life event like a divorce. Sometimes, a difficult case or conversation is unavoidable. Some cases – like high-stakes or high-conflict divorce cases – will ...

Why are divorces so difficult?

Difficult clients are fairly common because, for many, they’re in a highly stressful situation. The stakes are high financially and personally, especially for people going through a major life event like a divorce. Sometimes, a difficult case or conversation is unavoidable. Some cases – like high-stakes or high-conflict divorce cases – will naturally provide more challenges. However, there are steps you can take to help keep your clients calm and keep everything moving smoothly.

What to do if you have bad news for your client?

If you have bad news for your client, rushing into it will just be a shock to their system and can cause a panic. Be sure to ease into the situation. Prepare what you will say, how you will deliver it, and what your lead-in will be.

Is it bad to tell a client "no"?

Flatly telling a difficult client “no” can be a recipe for disaster. The “Yes, If/ No, But” method stems from negotiating and closing strategies. But it can be extremely useful for handling difficult clients at your law firm.

How to get a good lawyer to take your case?

“If you want to improve your chances of securing the best lawyer to take your case, you need to prepare before you meet them,” advises attorney Stephen Babcock. “Get your story, facts, and proof together well before your first meeting.” This not only ensures that you understand your own needs, but it helps a good lawyer to ascertain whether he or she can actually help you. “We want the best clients too. Proving you’re organized and reliable helps us.”

Why is it important to approach a lawyer with honesty?

“ Winning cases can be lost because of a client who lies or exaggerates just as easily as because of a lawyer who tells the client what the client wants to hear instead of what is true.” So when dealing with attorneys, don’t just look for honesty—be honest.

Should a lawyer stay out of court?

In fact, a lawyer should try to stay out of court. “In my experience, a good lawyer always finds every opportunity to keep a case from being decided by a judge, and only relents on trying a case before the bench when all alternatives have been exhausted,” attorney, Jason Cruz says.

Do you need a lawyer to write a demand letter?

On reading a demand letter, the other person will often say, “this isn’t worth the trouble” and they quickly settle. But here’s a secret from Knight: You don’t need a lawyer to write a demand letter. You can do it yourself. Just make it look as formal as possible, and you may find your dispute goes away—no charge to you.

Is divorce hard?

It’s not as hard as you might think, according to attorney Randall M. Kessler, author of Divorce: Protect Yourself, Your Kids and Your Future. “Shop around and trust your instincts,” he advises. “Does the lawyer listen to you? Do they explain things in a way you can understand? And are they willing to discuss fees and costs? The person you hire will need to be someone you trust and believe in, so be sure you feel very good about them from the start.”

Do most cases settle outside the courtroom?

In choosing your attorney and your plan of action in resolving a dispute, it’s important to consider that despite what you see on television, most cases never see the inside of a courtroom. Typically, they’re settled outside the courtroom because of the time and expense involved, according to attorney Darren Heitner, author of How to Play the Game: What Every Sports Attorney Needs to Know.

1. Stop listening to him and giving him power over you

I’m always surprised at how many divorcing women listen to their husbands after separation. Sure, during the marriage, you had some faith in him. But then things changed, and obviously the situation has deteriorated to the point that you’re headed towards divorce.

4. Be a good parent and a good person

No matter how you’re feeling at any given moment, you won’t make it any easier on yourself by taking it out on the people around you. I know, I know—you’d never MEAN to take your feelings out on your children. But, in my experience, it happens. And, a lot of times, when it happens, parents seem to have no idea that they’re doing it.

5. Get help if you need it

There’s no question that this is a lot to deal with, and you’d be inhuman if you didn’t have a lot of feelings about it. The end of a marriage is a lot like a death, and you’d be wise to treat it that way. If you’re having a hard time healing, you should talk to a professional about it.

What happens if your spouse doesn't give you free money?

1. Denial of access. If your partner does not provide you with free access to your money, this is a cause for concern. While marital assets come from a variety of streams, they are marital assets. Not being able to access these funds when the need arises is a significant red flag in your relationship.

What does it mean when a spouse requires a detailed expense report?

A spouse that requires a detailed expense report of marital finances, receipts, and anecdotal descriptions of your spending is a spouse with pronounced control issues. This hawk-eyed approach is one of the key financial abuse signs.

What is the intent of a toxic marriage?

A partner in an toxic marriage attempts to assert control by taking overall assets. The underlying intent of the financially abusive partner is clear: keep the spouse from having the means to leave the union.

What is the marriage.com course?

If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.

When one spouse creates a situation in which the other spouse does not have access to liquid assets, what is the?

When one spouse creates a situation in which the other spouse does not have access to liquid assets, financial abuse, also known as economic abuse, is in play.

Do nasty spouses demand interest on marital funds?

Further, some extremely nasty spouses demand interest on marital funds that are to be repaid.

Can spouses ask for repayment of money?

The significant other demands repayment. Your spouse/partner is not a savings and loan account. When you make household purchases out of marital funds, it is quite inappropriate for the partner to ask for repayment of the funds. Unfortunately, this happens too often.

What to say when you're headed towards divorce?

If you’re headed towards divorce, please keep this in mind: Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. I wish you the best.

What to say to someone who lost their marriage?

I hope you realize or are starting to realize, just how strong and amazing you are. I hope you have properly mourned the death of your marriage, and if you’re still in the grieving stages, you have my heartfelt condolences.

What to do when you're out of money?

And just a heads up: once you’re out of money, you’re out an attorney. It’s not a case of them being a-holes or scoundrels, it’s just business.

Is a divorce attorney a good friend?

Another thing to keep in mind: unless your attorney was a good friend prior to the divorce, they aren’t your buddy. They may be awesome, they may be super friendly, and they may kick total ass at their job, but at the end of the day, you are simply a source of income to them.

Can you panic about bills?

First thing; don’t panic. I mean, yes, you can panic a little bit because things like bills, electricity, gas for your car and food for your kids can’t be paid for with wishes and dreams, so yeah. You can panic about that. But you’ll get through that. Trust me, I fed four kids and kept the lights on with about $700.00 a month for a while. You are tough, and this will be one of the times you prove it.

Can an ex-husband hide his income?

Even if your ex is purposely under-employed or is able to hide some of the money he makes or under-report it, the courts will only look at his income when determining the amounts and collecting the arrearages.

Can a divorce decree be changed?

You have the internet. Spend some time researching divorce cases in your county. You will be amazed at what you find. One thing you will learn is that nothing in a divorce decree is etched in stone. It can all be changed, it can all be modified, it can all be worked around. There are more loopholes in an MTA than there are in a latch-hook rug kit.

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