how do i get a lawyer to protect myself during a divorce in nc?

by Alana Blanda 8 min read

The first step in the process is for one party to file a divorce complaint with the clerk of court in his or her county. A person’s attorney can also do this on his or her behalf. After that, the sheriff’s office will serve the divorce complaint to the other spouse, most often via certified mail.

Full Answer

Do I need a lawyer to get a divorce in NC?

Even if you don’t end up hiring an attorney to handle your separation or divorce, you would be well advised to get as much information as you can before you even discuss divorce with your spouse. There’s a lot to know about an NC divorce. Our laws are complex and even the simplest situation can be very confusing to families already in distress.

How do I serve divorce papers in North Carolina?

Under North Carolina law, you must provide copies of all documents related to the divorce to your spouse. In person—You must use the process service offered by your county sheriff to serve your divorce papers on your spouse. You cannot serve your spouse yourself.

How do I get an absolute divorce in North Carolina?

If you or your spouse are a member of the military and want to get an Absolute Divorce in North Carolina, one of you must have been stationed in North Carolina for six months prior to filing for a divorce. The plaintiff may file a Complaint for Divorce in the county where he or she lives or where the respondent has lived for the prior six months.

Do I need an attorney to handle my own divorce?

you can handle your own divorce case through a do-it-yourself (DIY) method you want to try mediation (with or without an attorney) to resolve disputed issues, or you need to hire an attorney to represent you through settlement and/or in court. There are a few factors to consider when deciding which divorce path is right for you.

Why is it important to stay alert during divorce?

How to deceive your spouse?

Why is divorce so stressful?

How much does a divorce cost?

Why do you need receipts after divorce?

What is a DOS in divorce?

Which states have the most lenient divorce laws?

See more

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What are my rights if I leave the marital home in NC?

Once one spouse leaves the marital residence, establishes a residence elsewhere, and is told not to return to the marital residence, that spouse is not free to continue to return to the marital residence. If fact, returning to the marital residence after leaving could result in criminal charges under N.C.G.S.

How do I protect myself during a divorce?

How to Financially Protect Yourself in a DivorceLegally establish the separation/divorce.Get a copy of your credit report and monitor activity.Separate debt to financially protect your assets.Move half of joint bank balances to a separate account.Comb through your assets.Conduct a cash flow analysis.More items...•

What is a wife entitled to in a divorce in North Carolina?

What is a spouse entitled to in a divorce in NC? A spouse is typically entitled to some amount of alimony or spousal support, depending on the decision of the NC divorce courts. A spouse may also be entitled to a 50/50 split of marital property if so decided by the courts.

Does it matter who files for divorce first in NC?

When it comes to North Carolina, there is no need to sign anything in the first place. As long as someone has filed for the divorce (and met the one-year requirement), the divorce will be granted.

How do I protect myself financially from my spouse?

You can begin by removing your spouse's name from the household bills, so that only you have access to them and ensure payment is received. Furthermore, setting up your own bank accounts for savings and paying household necessities is another way to ensure your spouse does not have access to your funds.

How do you avoid discovery in a divorce?

Cost-Effective Divorce: Avoiding Discovery Non-ComplianceGather Important Financial Documents and Statements.Provide ALL Documents Requested.Be Prompt Responding to Discovery Requests.Have Every Statement for Retirement Accounts.

Can a spouse kick you out of the house in North Carolina?

North Carolina has a domestic criminal trespass law, which states that a spouse who leaves the marital residence (referred to as the "out-spouse") and then tries to return can be denied entry by the other spouse.

Who gets house in divorce NC?

Property can be divided in any amount. However, in most North Carolina divorce situations, equitable distribution law presumes an equal 50/50 division – meaning each spouse receives half of the estate.

Who gets to stay in the house during separation?

Both spouses are allowed to live in the family home while they are separated, no matter who owns it. In theory, one spouse can't force the other out. A spouse who decides to leave can return whenever he or she wants to. It's better if the spouses can agree on who will stay in the home if they decide to separate.

Does a husband have to support his wife during separation?

As for spousal support, common-law couples are entitled to spousal support after having lived together for three years, or if they have a child together, as long as the relationship was of some permanence. Married spouses are presumed to be immediately entitled to spousal support, if one spouse has the need for it.

What should you not do during separation?

5 Mistakes To Avoid During Your SeparationKeep it private. The second you announce you're getting a divorce, everyone will have an opinion. ... Don't leave the house. ... Don't pay more than your share. ... Don't jump into a rebound relationship. ... Don't put off the inevitable.

What is considered marital misconduct in North Carolina?

Under NCGS 50-16.1A, marital misconduct is defined as “acts of sexual or deviate sexual intercourse, deviate sexual acts, or sexual acts defined in G.S. 14‑27.1(4), voluntarily engaged in by a spouse with someone other than the other spouse.” So, if you or your spouse had an affair, there has been marital misconduct.

If You Have Children, Consider Staying in The Family Home.

Moving out too soon may impact custody later. Recognize that in some situations, however, staying will cause heightened tension between you and you...

Don't Allow Your Spouse to Take The Children and leave.

Your spouse has no more right to take the children from their family home than you do. Make sure that your spouse knows that if he or she wants to...

Safeguard Personal Papers and Make Copies of Important Records.

You should locate and gather all of your personal records, such as your birth certificate, diplomas, and all other personal documents. For jointly-...

Cancel All Jointly-Owned Credit Cards.

Meet with your spouse and inform them that you intend to cancel the cards before you do so. It only takes five or ten minutes to cancel your credit...

Make A Record of All Marital property.

The best way to do this is with a video recording. If possible, do this together with your spouse; if that isn't possible, make an extra copy. Inve...

Secure Your More Valuable Personal property.

If you have a stamp or coin collection, or similar valuable personal items, find a safe place away from the home to store them for a while. Persona...

Reduce Unnecessary Expenses immediately.

Meet with your spouse and agree to cancel unneeded utilities, such as cable TV, extra telephone lines, etc. Chances are, you're going to need the e...

If Any Domestic Violence occurs, Call The Police.

Don't allow your spouse to commit any domestic violence against you or your children. Call the police at once, insist that an officer come to your...

25 Secrets Your Divorce Lawyer Won't Tell You | Best Life

4. That you'll save money and heartache by being organized. Divorce lawyers often charge by the hour. If you take responsibility for being as organized as possible, not only are you likely to walk away from your marriage with a more acceptable outcome, you'll probably save some money too.. One of the best and simplest ways to do that is to start a divorce file.

9 Things You Should NEVER Do During Divorce - The Good Men Project

Divorce is a complicated and emotional time. You often make mistakes during your divorce that you pay for in the future. Here is a list of the 9 things you should never do during a divorce: 1.

Over 65? How to know if you can afford a ‘gray divorce’

The number of couples older than 65 who opt to divorce has been growing, and there are specific challenges and risks that women should consider when facing late-life divorce.

Top 15 Financial Mistakes to Avoid in Your Divorce Settlement

Updated By Lina Guillen, Attorney. Becoming a Financial Victim. The biggest mistake divorcing spouses can make is being in the dark about finances. If your spouse has always handled all of the financial decisions in your household and you don't have any information about you and your spouse's income and assets, your spouse will have an unfair advantage over you when it comes time to settle the ...

Ten Things You MUST Do Before You File for Divorce

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What to do if your spouse wants you to sign something?

If your spouse wants you to sign something, politely say you'll be glad to, but your attorney has "ordered you not to sign anything" before he or she has a look at it. 10. If any domestic violence occurs, call the police. Don't allow your spouse to commit any domestic violence against you or your children.

How to report domestic violence to police?

Don't allow your spouse to commit any domestic violence against you or your children. Call the police at once, insist that an officer come to your residence, and file a report. Contact your attorney's office and inform them as soon as possible. You may also want to consider seeking a restraining order if you fear that you or your children may be subjected to further acts of domestic violence. You can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. See Divorces Involving Domestic Violence to find out how the law can help.

How to get custody of your children if you move out?

1. If you have children, consider staying in the family home. Moving out too soon may impact custody later. Recognize that in some situations, however, staying will cause heightened tension between you and your spouse, and this increased tension may lead to fighting in front of your children, or even domestic violence.

How to record a video of your spouse?

If possible, do this together with your spouse; if that isn't possible, make an extra copy. Inventory the entire home and its contents. Pull items out where they can be seen, and open up drawers so the contents are visible. Make sure the date function is turned on, so the date is visible when the video is viewed. Store the recording somewhere safe. If objects "disappear" from the family home, you'll have a solid record of what's missing.

Do you have to give consent to a lawyer to text you?

You are not required to provide consent as a condition of service. Attorneys have the option, but are not required, to send text messages to you. You will receive up to 2 messages per week from Martindale-Nolo. Frequency from attorney may vary.

Can my spouse take my kids out of my home?

Your spouse has no more right to take the children from their family home than you do. Make sure that your spouse knows that if he or she wants to leave, they're free to go, but the children stay. Again, as an alternative, consider "time-sharing" the family home with your spouse until the custody and divorce issues are settled.

What is required to be disclosed in a divorce in North Carolina?

Under North Carolina law, both parties in a divorce are required to make a full disclosure of their assets and debts that existed at the date of separation. This includes both marital and non-marital property. If there are disagreements about what constitutes a marital vs. non-marital asset, the burden of proof is on the party that made the claim.

What is the primary priority of law enforcement in divorces?

There are strong safeguards in place to protect against domestic violence. Safety is the number one priority of law enforcement in all cases. You can as the court for a civil order of protection to legally keep a spouse away from you either before a divorce action begins or during a divorce already in progress.

What does 50/50 mean in divorce?

This means courts will attempt to divide property and assets in a divorce in a fair and equal way. It does not mean that assets will necessarily be divided on a 50/50 basis. Only marital assets are considered in a division of assets.

What is the obligation of support arising out of a prior marriage?

Any obligation for support arising out of a prior marriage. The duration of the marriage. The age, physical and mental health of both parties. The need of a parent with custody of any children to occupy or own the marital residence and to use or own the household contents.

Is domestic violence a crime?

Domestic violence can include any kind of physical abuse, emotional abuse, stalking, or any other kind of harassment including those made through phone calls, mail, or social media inflicted on one spouse by the other. It is a criminal act and an abuser can face serious charges for violating the law.

Can a divorce be split 50-50?

When it comes to splitting payment of the debt in a divorce, the debt will be split fairly but not necessarily 50-50. Courts may take into account who was responsible for accumulating most of the debt, the ability of one party to pay a debt more readily, and other factors.

Can a marriage end in North Carolina?

For example, a marriage can end through an annulment or a divorce in North Carolina. The actual term for a divorce in the state is known as an Absolute Divorce. By law, legal separations are also allowed, and they are referred to as a Divorce of Bed and Board. The only two reasons that can be cited as grounds for divorce are physical separation ...

How long do you have to live in NC to get divorce?

In order to obtain an NC divorce, you need to have resided in the state for at least six months and you’ll also have to live separately from your spouse for a full year before the divorce can be finalized. For that reason, you’ll need to make absolutely sure this is something you want before pursuing it.

How to protect your credit during divorce?

Other protective measures you might consider in your divorce planning include: protecting your own credit rating by freezing or closing joint cards and by blocking your spouse’s access to other joint credit such as a home equity loan; closing joint bank accounts and opening accounts in your own, individual name;

What is different about divorce in North Carolina?

What is different about a North Carolina divorce? Divorce in North Carolina appears confusing at first glance, so it’s important to understand what you’re getting into before pursuing one. Every state has different laws when it comes to divorce and North Carolina is no different.

What assets can you take possession of during separation?

One of these steps is to take possession of certain assets during separation, especially those assets you wish to be using, such as furniture and vehicles , and those assets that might be liquidated by your spouse, including precious gems and stones, other collectibles, cash, and bearer bonds.

What to do before splitting from your spouse?

With that said, here are the top five things to do before you split from your spouse: 1. Talk to a Marriage Counselor or other professional who may be able to help you save your marriage. Even if you don’t think there’s hope for ...

Can you move out of a house without a lawyer?

Do not move out of the marital home without talking to an attorney first. Leaving the house without a good reason may cause you to pay alimony or may result in your inability to collect alimony once the divorce is finalized.

Is adultery illegal in North Carolina?

In this case, honesty may not be the best policy. In addition to the fact that adultery is illegal in the state of North Carolina, admission of an affair can have other dire consequences in an NC divorce.

What to do if you cannot agree to a divorce?

If you and your spouse cannot agree on the major issues in how your marriage should be dissolved, you will probably need to hire an attorney to represent you in this complex divorce proceeding.

How long does it take to get divorced in North Carolina?

North Carolina offers an expedited process of uncontested divorce following a 12-month separation. File the complaint, serve your spouse, and attend a hearing with the following documents: Complaint and Summons. Certificate of Absolute Divorce.

What are the main points of contention in divorce cases?

The major points of contention in most divorce cases involve issues of property division, child custody or spousal support. If you and your spouse fail to come to an agreement on these issues, you should know how North Carolina courts often rule.

What happens if my spouse doesn't respond to my divorce petition?

If your spouse does not provide any response to the divorce petition, then the judge will assume that the Respondent has abdicated any right to participate in the case. The judge will probably grant many or all of the requests by the petitioner regarding child custody, support and property distribution in the original Complaint. Following the judgment, you and your spouse are barred from making any additional property claims, although you both have the option to legally revisit issues regarding children.

What happens if a divorce is uncontested?

If the divorce is uncontested, the court will decide to grant the divorce following a hearing.

How long does it take for a spouse to file a divorce?

You and your spouse must agree to a Marital Settlement which must be filed within 30 days of serving notice.

How long does a divorce trial last?

Divorce Trial (Highest Cost) In cases where you and your spouse cannot agree on major issues, the judge will schedule a trial that could go on for several days. Hiring a well-qualified divorce attorney to defend you is usually in your interest, as your spouse will probably do likewise.

Why is it important to stay alert during divorce?

During a divorce, it's important to stay alert to hidden tax obligations.

How to deceive your spouse?

You can try to deceive your spouse by hiding or concealing assets, but don't forget that you're also messing with the law. According to Narris, if what you're hiding is discovered, you'll lose your credibility in court. There could also be stiff penalties, including monetary sanctions. To protect yourself and your property during a divorce, it's best to declare all assets upfront.

Why is divorce so stressful?

Some people even see divorce as a way to seek revenge on a spouse by seizing money and assets. Although divorce can bail you out of an unhappy marriage, it can also milk you for all you are worth if you don't know your rights.

How much does a divorce cost?

It's no secret that divorce can be expensive. In fact, according to Narris, the average cost of legal fees in a divorce is an astounding $15,000! One way to cut down on these expenses is to use a mediator.

Why do you need receipts after divorce?

Narris recommends keeping receipts so you have a good idea of what everything actually costs. Doing this will help you maintain quality of life after a divorce.

What is a DOS in divorce?

Typically, the court uses a formal date of separation (DOS) to determine property division and the value of certain assets. "If you are expecting a large increase in the value of a major asset upon a certain occasion, be mindful of that when you decide to initiate the divorce," said Narris. 23.

Which states have the most lenient divorce laws?

Some States Are Better for Getting a Divorce. According to the government research site InsideGov, the five states with the easiest and most lenient divorce laws are Alaska, South Dakota, Wyoming, Iowa and Washington.

How to handle a divorce case?

You'll need to decide whether: you can handle your own divorce case through a do-it-yourself (DIY) method. you want to try mediation (with or without an attorney) to resolve disputed issues, or. you need to hire an attorney to represent you through settlement and/or in court. There are a few factors to consider when deciding which divorce path is ...

What to do when your spouse is lawyered up?

Once your spouse has lawyered up, you need to hire an experienced attorney, who can explain your rights and responsibilities, use specialized knowledge to advocate on your behalf, and obtain the best possible result for you and your family.

Has Your Spouse Already Hired a Divorce Attorney?

If you've already been served with divorce paperwork by your spouse's attorney, you should consult with an attorney as soon as possible. Divorce and family law rules vary from state to state, and unless you already know your state laws and local rules, you'll have a lot to learn to get up to speed.

Do You and Your Spouse Agree on How to Divide Your Property and Debts?

Generally speaking, in all states, the assets you and your spouse acquire together during your marriage are considered "marital property, which must be divided in some way between the two of you in your divorce.

What is collaborative divorce?

With collaborative divorce, you and your spouse must both hire attorneys who are specially trained in collaborative law, and you have to commit to avoiding court. This process can be expensive, so it's important to do some research and learn all you can about collaborative divorce before you choose this path.

Why does a divorce take longer to resolve?

Fault cases typically take longer to resolve in court because you have to provide admissible evidence and prove to a judge the misconduct occurred and that it caused the divorce.

What happens if your parents can't agree on a divorce?

When parents can't agree on these issues, they will either have to go to mediation to try and come to an agreement or they will end up in court asking a judge to decide for them.

What to do with financial information after divorce?

Once you have all of your financial information in hand, you have to decide what you’re going to do with it. This will require trying to determine what your personal priorities are and what you want to get out of the divorce. Keeping the family home may be a top priority, especially when children are involved.

What is collaborative divorce?

With a collaborative divorce, you and your spouse each have your own collaborative attorney and divorce coach, and there is also a neutral financial specialist. All members of the team (clients and professionals) commit to helping you and your spouse settle your case without litigation.

How long does divorce mediation take?

Every case is different, but a typical divorce mediation usually takes several sessions over three to six months. It’s not uncommon for more complex cases to take significantly longer.

What is the difference between mediation and collaborative divorce?

Mediation and collaborative divorce are both consensual dispute resolution methods. There’s a lot of similarities in that the primary objective is reaching a mutually acceptable agreement without court involvement.

What is the process of divorce mediation?

Every mediator and mediation process is a bit different, but they generally follow the same path. Once you and your spouse agree on a mediator, the mediator will contact both of you to gather information about your marriage, what issues you are facing and your financial information.

What is mediation in divorce?

Divorce mediation is an alternative dispute resolution process that allows divorcing couples to try and negotiate a mutually acceptable agreement with the help of a neutral mediator. A mediator does not have the authority to make decisions.

How much does a divorce mediator cost?

Mediators in private practice can charge anywhere from $100 all the way up to $1,000 per hour, but most fall in the $100 to $300 per hour range.

How to start a divorce in NC?

You start the divorce proceeding by filing a complaint and a civil summons with the clerk of court’s office. Most clerks’ offices have forms and instructions. You can also get the forms from Legal Aid of NC.

How to get divorce if your spouse is not disputing?

Assuming your spouse is not disputing your divorce claim, the process is actually fairly simple. You arrive at court on the hearing date and wait until the Court calls your case. When it is your turn, if you are representing yourself, the judge will likely have you repeat the information from your complaint while you are under oath and then grant the divorce. So, you will testify that you were married to the Defendant on such-and-such a date in such-and-such a place and that you have been living separate and apart since you separated. Then you will hand the judge your proposed order, and the judge will probably sign it.

What happens if my spouse doesn't file a divorce complaint?

If your spouse does not file an Answer to your simple divorce complaint, then he or she has not raised any objection to the allegations in your complaint. If your spouse files an answer and objects to the divorce (or files other claims against you for custody, support or to divide your assets and debts) then you need to talk to an attorney.

How much does it cost to schedule a divorce hearing?

There is a $20 fee to schedule the hearing. Whether or not your spouse has filed an Answer, you need to send him or her the notice of hearing stating the date, time and location of the hearing. In the forms you got from the clerk or Legal Aid, there is a form for the divorce order.

What is a petition to waive a fee?

The form to ask for the fee to be waived is a Petition to Sue/Appeal/File Motions as an Indigent. The person who files the complaint (you) is the Plaintiff, the other person (your spouse) is the Defendant. There is no deeper meaning or stigma to the terms. The clerk of court will not notarize your signature.

How to serve a summons to a soon to be ex?

Usually, this is done in one of two ways: By sending them to your spouse’s home address via certified mail, return receipt requested.

What to do if your spouse lives in another county?

If your spouse lives in another county and you want him or her served by the sheriff, then the paperwork has to be sent with the service fee to that sheriff’s office. If you don’t know your spouse’s home address, you should talk to an attorney about how to get service on your spouse.

Why is it important to stay alert during divorce?

During a divorce, it's important to stay alert to hidden tax obligations.

How to deceive your spouse?

You can try to deceive your spouse by hiding or concealing assets, but don't forget that you're also messing with the law. According to Narris, if what you're hiding is discovered, you'll lose your credibility in court. There could also be stiff penalties, including monetary sanctions. To protect yourself and your property during a divorce, it's best to declare all assets upfront.

Why is divorce so stressful?

Some people even see divorce as a way to seek revenge on a spouse by seizing money and assets. Although divorce can bail you out of an unhappy marriage, it can also milk you for all you are worth if you don't know your rights.

How much does a divorce cost?

It's no secret that divorce can be expensive. In fact, according to Narris, the average cost of legal fees in a divorce is an astounding $15,000! One way to cut down on these expenses is to use a mediator.

Why do you need receipts after divorce?

Narris recommends keeping receipts so you have a good idea of what everything actually costs. Doing this will help you maintain quality of life after a divorce.

What is a DOS in divorce?

Typically, the court uses a formal date of separation (DOS) to determine property division and the value of certain assets. "If you are expecting a large increase in the value of a major asset upon a certain occasion, be mindful of that when you decide to initiate the divorce," said Narris. 23.

Which states have the most lenient divorce laws?

Some States Are Better for Getting a Divorce. According to the government research site InsideGov, the five states with the easiest and most lenient divorce laws are Alaska, South Dakota, Wyoming, Iowa and Washington.

Beginner’s Guide to Divorce Laws in North Carolina

Property Issues

  • Marital Property and Division of Assets in North Carolina
    North Carolina is an equitable distribution state. This means courts will attempt to divide property and assets in a divorce in a fair and equal way. It does not mean that assets will necessarily be divided on a 50/50 basis. Only marital assets are considered in a division of assets. Marital asse…
  • Debts
    In North Carolina, any debt acquired during a marriage is the responsibility of both parties, up to the date of separation. The person who is claiming that a debt is marital must provide proof that it was incurred during the marriage but before separation. It must also be proven that the debt wa…
See more on survivedivorce.com

Alimony and Child Support

  • Alimony in North Carolina
    Alimony can be granted to either spouse in North Carolina and the courts will attempt to make sure any award is equitable based on relevant factors that can go into a decision Courts have discretion in determining the amount, duration and how the alimony is paid. The length of alimo…
  • Child Support in North Carolina
    North Carolina uses a statewide guideline known as the Income Shares Model to calculate child support and awards are made based on this formula. The formula has variables that can include each parent’s income, daycare and medical expenses, costs of living arrangements for the childr…
See more on survivedivorce.com

Custody and Visitation

  • Child Custody in North Carolina
    North Carolina has adopted the Uniform Child Custody Act to help govern child custody issues related to a divorce in the state. All decisions regarding child custody are based on the principle that decisions will be made with the best interests of the child in mind. The state recognized tw…
  • Substance Abuse
    Substance abuse is not a valid ground for divorce in North Carolina, but it can carry considerable weight in issues regarding child custody. If there is a danger to the child, as there would be with drug or alcohol abuse being present, then courts may restrict or deny visitation or custody of a c…
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Divorce Process

  • Bifurcation of marital status
    Bifurcation means that both parties in a divorce can legally divide their divorce into two stages. The first part satisfies the grounds for the divorce. The marriage is terminated at that point. Bifurcation means that the financial aspects of the divorce such as child custody, visitation, chil…
  • Disclosing Assets
    Under North Carolina law, both parties in a divorce are required to make a full disclosure of their assets and debts that existed at the date of separation. This includes both marital and non-marital property. If there are disagreements about what constitutes a marital vs. non-marital asset, the …
See more on survivedivorce.com

Other Issues

  • Domestic Violence
    In divorces where domestic violence is present, any divorce actions are secondary to the immediate safety of a spouse or children who may be in immediate danger. There are strong safeguards in place to protect against domestic violence. Safety is the number one priority of la…
  • Health Insurance
    North Carolina recognizes the common law doctrine of the doctrine of necessities. This means that when you are married, you are responsible for your spouse’s necessities. Under the law, you are liable to pay for food, clothing, shelter and other necessities if spouse receives them from yo…
See more on survivedivorce.com