did they teach you how to apologize at lawyer school

by Ms. Whitney Upton PhD 7 min read

The practice of law isn’t exactly structured to teach us to give apologies to those we’ve wronged. Quite the opposite, actually. Many of us spend most of our time locked in adversarial situations, advocating on behalf of others.

Full Answer

Why is it not easy to apologize to someone?

It takes a strong sense of self for a lawyer to view their mistakes clearly and admit to them. Lawyers are perhaps more hesitant to apologize even than other professionals. They have been trained since school to argue for their clients rather than admit wrongdoing It is only natural that they carry this habit over into their personal lives.

What kind of apology should I offer?

Academic knowledge isn’t pragmatic knowledge. Law schools set two primary goals for legal education: teaching students the core principles and terminology of the profession and inculcating the habits of thinking like an advocate. All other goals get a lower priority…and the mundane daily work of a practicing lawyer is certainly low on the list.

How do you apologize to someone who is offended?

The practice of law isn’t exactly structured to teach us to give apologies to those we’ve wronged. Quite the opposite, actually. Many of us spend most of our time locked in adversarial situations,...

What does it mean if Laura accepted my apology?

 · When it’s not, let the person (s) offended choose the outcome they’d like to see. 4. Let them know that inherent in your apology is a promise that you won’t do what you did again. Step 4 is crucial. Otherwise, what you’ve offered isn’t an apology — it’s an excuse. 5.

How to apologize for being offended?

How to Apologize —The 7 Steps of a Sincere Apology. 1. Ask for permission to apologize. Those whom you’ve offended appreciate that you’re not jumping right in and assuming you can do something that involves them. Sometimes, the permission to apologize comes right away, and sometimes it comes after those offended have had a chance to cool off.

What does it mean when Laura accepts your apology?

If Laura accepted your apology, that means she can’t hold a grudge and bring up what you did every time she gets angry with you. And you (who apologized) can’t go around doing what offended her in the first place. A sincere apology should be given and accepted with the intention of restoring the relationship.

How to tell someone you hurt them?

Let them know that you realize you hurt them. Tell them how much you regret what you did , you know it was wrong , and you value their feelings. Express that you wish you could turn back time and change what you said or did. Be careful not to say anything along the lines of “If I hurt you, I’m sorry.”.

What does it mean to do so?

Doing so means that you don’t understand that you did hurt the person. “If” and words like it put the blame on the other person for feeling hurt instead of on the person who committed the offense. 3. Tell them how you plan to right the situation. Sometimes, it’s not possible to right a situation.

Who is Maralee McKee?

She is a contemporary etiquette, manners, and people skill expert, and the founder of the prestigious Etiquette School of America.

Who introduced the case method?

A lawyer named Christopher Langdell changed that when he was appointed dean of the Harvard Law School in 1870 and began to rebrand legal education. Mr. Langdell introduced “case method,” which is the short answer to the question “What does law school teach you if not how to be a lawyer?”.

What is Drinker Biddle and Reath?

They are associates at a law firm called Drinker Biddle & Reath, hired to handle corporate transactions. And they have each spent three years and as much as $150,000 for a legal degree. What they did not get, for all that time and money, was much practical training.

Where is the meat market held?

It is conducted every year at the Marriott in the Woodley Park neighborhood of Washington.

1. If you want to win arguments, isolate your issues

One of the things they drill into your head in law school is the importance of identifying and isolating distinct issues in a particular dilemma. This means extracting the ‘legal issue’ from the icky life mess. It also means distinguishing between different arguments and addressing them separately.

3. Be confident, not arrogant

On a related note, I remember these horrible ‘getting to know you’ circles that would form during orientation, where we’d all gather in clusters and essentially list off our accomplishments to one another.

6. Personalize the experience

Law school has the reputation of being a pretty mainstream place. Lets just say that my interests didn’t exactly line up with the majority of the courses and clubs offered at the faculty.

7. Avoid sharks and score free sushi

My law school holds these networking events that are sponsored by law firms. This means two things: free food/drinks and awkward conversations with lawyers. It’s essentially about recruitment. Lawyers come out, (some) law students dress up and everyone schmoozes.

8. Trust your instincts and the path will reveal itself

I ended up taking a music policy class in my last year. The final project involved coming up with an idea and business plan for a business related to the music industry.

9. Great friendships can be built upon a mutual hatred of something

Although I didn’t socialize much in the law school scene, I did meet a handful of really incredible people, one of whom became a really close buddy. In fact, this one friendship alone was well-worth the 3.5 years.

10. Always ask why

In third year, most of my classmates were stressed out of their minds, applying for positions at law firms and going through the interview process. I elected not to even bother.

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