a lawyer for when a mother is dying and sisters refuse to keep you informed

by Mr. Houston Paucek 10 min read

What to do if your siblings are in denial about your health?

Dec 02, 2011 · If you watch the filings your time period for deciding whether you have legal recourse could be as short as 10 days after the date of filing (and you probably will not know this same day unless your county filings are computerized and you check every day), so you may want to get a probate lawyer in your county on the hook to help you. If your sister was smart she …

Why won't my Sister admit she defrauded my mother?

This objective outsider can make great headway with the stubborn sibling because they are not part of the family. Give it a shot. Maybe your siblings will pull their heads out of the sand long enough to “get it.”. The final option is to just accept the situation and move on.

How do you deal with a mother who is in denial?

Aug 10, 2013 · If it's a personal and selfish wish to prevent you from seeing your relative, I don't think the POA can stop you. If this were brought to the attention of the authorities, I think the POA would have to provide a solid reason for preventing you from seeing your relative. 08/10/2013 11:57:33. Helpful Answer ( 6)

What happens to an absent sibling when their parent is ill?

Control of the Body and Burial: Certain rights and duties exist regarding the burial and disposal of the body of a decedent. Upon the death of a married person, the surviving spouse has the paramount right as to the custody of the remains of the deceased and its burial. Radomer Russ-Pol Unterstitzung Verein v.

How do you deal with siblings when a parent dies?

Divide up responsibilities evenly, but don't take on more than you can handle. Trust in your siblings to get things done, but check in to see how everything is going and if they could use some help. If they become defensive, let them know you're only hoping to lighten their load.

How can I protect my parents assets from siblings?

There are several things you can to do protect your elderly parents from the siblings taking advantage of them.
  1. Have a family meeting. ...
  2. You may have to see an elder care attorney and appoint someone to be the legal power of attorney to protect the assets if siblings can't come to an agreement.
Dec 10, 2019

Can a sibling with power of attorney prevent other siblings from seeing a parent UK?

The purpose of executing the power of attorney may involve handling financial transactions, legal matters or health care decisions. If a sibling claims to have a power of attorney authorizing him to limit access to a parent, he should permit the other siblings to review the document.

Can I sue my sister for stealing my inheritance?

You have legal options available and an estate lawyer will likely be able to get the money and property back for you. You can try to recover stolen inheritance by requesting your sister to restore or return it back to the estate.

How do you deal with a greedy sibling?

How Do You Deal With Greedy Siblings?
  1. Cultivate empathy for them and try to understand their motives. ...
  2. Let them speak their peace, even if you disagree.
  3. Be understanding and kind to the best of your ability.
  4. Take time to think about your response to them if you feel overwhelmed or triggered.

When siblings don't agree on what to do with an elderly parent?

Call a family meeting. Problems and misunderstandings often occur because no one really takes the time to communicate and find out what the other person thinks. Have the meeting in a quiet place without distractions and at a time of day when everyone will be at their best. Practice your communication skills.

What three decisions Cannot be made by a legal power of attorney?

You cannot give an attorney the power to: act in a way or make a decision that you cannot normally do yourself – for example, anything outside the law. consent to a deprivation of liberty being imposed on you, without a court order.

What are the 3 types of power of attorney?

Here are examples of the types of Alberta POAs that you may need:
  • Specific Power of Attorney. A specific power of attorney is the simplest power of attorney. ...
  • General Power of Attorney. A general power of attorney is used to give a very broad term of use to the attorney. ...
  • Enduring Power of Attorney. ...
  • Durable Power of Attorney.
Feb 1, 2022

Can sisters get power of attorney?

She can only grant PoA if she has capacity. And, in that case, only the person giving it – in this case your mother – can apply for it. Your sister should not have applied for it on her behalf.Sep 23, 2016

How do you resolve family conflict over inheritance?

Strategies parents can implement include expressing their wishes in a will, setting up a trust, using a non-sibling as executor or trustee, and giving gifts during their lifetime. After a parent dies, siblings can use a mediator, split the proceeds after liquidating assets, and defer to an independent fiduciary.

Should siblings receive the same inheritance?

The Bottom Line

That said, an equal inheritance makes the most sense when any gifts or financial support you've given your children throughout your life have been minimal or substantially equal, and when there isn't a situation in which one child has provided most of the custodial care for an older parent.

What do you do when your sister steals your inheritance?

You should consider a trust litigation attorney the moment you suspect a brother or sister is stealing your inheritance or assets from the estate. Often a trust attorney can quickly begin communications with the suspected sibling and/or their attorney, and resolve the theft quickly.

How to deal with a sibling's lack of interest?

Speaking with a mental health professional can give you the tools to cope with a sibling’s lack of interest and involvement. If the denial is about a parent’s health, then you may need to get a doctor involved. For example, Dad’s dementia symptoms are worsening.

How to help your sibling with elder care?

You can hire a family mediator to help resolve any lingering issues between you and your siblings and create a more balanced, collaborative approach to elder care. Counseling can help immensely as well, regardless of whether a sibling is willing to participate. Speaking with a mental health professional can give you the tools to cope with a sibling’s lack of interest and involvement.

What does a long distance sibling not see?

What the long-distance sibling doesn’t see is the true physical and mental health status of the parent after the visit comes to an end and the excitement wears off. If dementia is a factor, the senior may forget they even had a visitor. That happened once after my brother and his wife visited when our mom was declining. She had looked forward to the visit for weeks. My brother and sister-in-law arrived as planned, spent time with Mom and then traveled back to their distant home. Afterward, Mom continued to ask me when they were coming. She was still looking forward to their visit and had completely forgotten that it had already happened. It nearly broke my heart to tell her they had been here over the weekend, but I couldn’t lie about something so important to her. We caregivers have to do some pretty dreadful stuff.

Why don't caregivers offer assistance?

They don’t offer assistance or want to investigate ways to provide help because it’s easier to just ignore the stress that their sibling is under. Sometimes this stems from ignorance—they simply don’t know how to help or don’t fully appreciate the overwhelming responsibilities and stress that caregivers face.

Who is Carol Bradley Bursack?

Over the span of two decades, author , columnist, consultant and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. Her experiences inspired her to pen "Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories," a portable support group book for caregivers.

Is it better to have an absent sibling or an antagonistic one?

Sometimes an absent sibling is better than an antagonistic one. C.

What is the matter of the disposition of the dead?

The matter of the disposition of the dead is so involved in the public interest, including the public’s health, safety, and welfare, that it is subject to control by law instead of being subject entirely to the desires, whim, or caprice of individuals. Wolf v.

Who has the right to control a burial?

While the primary and paramount right to possession of the body and control of the burial or is vested in the surviving spouse, the right of a surviving spouse to control the burial is dependent on the peculiar circumstances of each case, and may be waived by consent or otherwise.

What is the duty of a mortuary?

According to the common law, it is the duty of a mortuary to deliver a dead body relatively in good condition to the relatives of the deceased person. A mortuary must do their duty with utmost care and attention. A reasonable expedience is expected from a mortuary that carries a dead body. Moody v.

What are the rights and obligations applicable to human remains?

The rights and obligations applicable to human remains is a topic of critical importance to a family facing a death yet is a subject that is seldom discussed or considered. This article shall outline the responsibilities and rights as to human remains.

What is the federal law for burial?

Federal Law: Federal statutes authorize the payment of expenses for the burial or disposal of the remains of certain persons in federal custody, persons dying on or in federally owned property or facilities, and certain federal employees who die in the line of duty.

What is the government's interest in burying dead bodies?

All governments have recognized legitimate governmental interest in the provision of burial services in that the disposition of the dead is so involved in the public interest , including the public’s health, safety and welfare, that it is subject to control by law instead of being subject entirely to the desire, whim or caprice of individuals. In the exercise of its police power, the state may adopt reasonable regulations as to burials or other means of disposing of dead bodies. There is no question of the power of the legislature to exercise complete control of burials so far as is necessary for the protection of the public health and the promotion of the public safety. Thruston v. Little River County, 310 Ark. 188 (Ark. 1992).

How to dispose of a body?

The most common methods of disposal are: 1 Burial of the entire body in the earth, often within a coffin 2 Cremation, which burns soft tissue and renders much of the skeleton to ash. The remains, known as “cremains” may contain larger pieces of bone which are ground in a machine to the consistency of ash. The ashes may be stored in an urn or scattered on land or water.

What happens when a loved one dies?

When a loved one dies, settling his estate can seem like a daunting task. Those left behind may not know what rights they have as a beneficiary or heir of an estate. The legal rights of family members depend largely on whether the decedent had an estate plan in place. Most states have a probate court where a beneficiary or heir can enforce his ...

What happens if a spouse leaves a will?

Most states have laws preventing a decedent from disinheriting his spouse. Even if a decedent intentionally leaves his spouse out of his will, she is , nonetheless, entitled to a certain amount of his estate, which is known as the “elective share.” Each state has laws governing the amount of the elective share and how a surviving spouse can exercise this right. For instance, in Tennessee, a surviving spouse must make her election within nine months of the date of death, and the amount to which she is entitled depends on the length of the marriage. In North Carolina, the amount of the elective share depends on whether or not the decedent left surviving children.

How to find out if a survivor has a right to property?

A survivor’s legal right to real property depends largely on how the property is titled. This information can be found on the deed to the property. If the deed has been recorded, you can obtain a copy from your local recording agency’s office, often for a small fee. Generally speaking, real property, if owned solely by the decedent, is subject to probate; if there is no will, it becomes part of the intestate estate. However, there are instances in which real property passes outside of probate or intestacy. If real property is owned jointly by husband and wife, often referred to in a deed as “tenants by the entirety”, upon one spouse’s death the property will automatically pass to the surviving spouse. Unmarried individuals can also own property with this right of survivorship. When one “tenant” dies, the property will pass to the survivor. Additionally, a common arrangement between elderly parents and adult children is to deed the property to the children, with the parents retaining “life use”. This means that the parent has the right to live in the residence during his lifetime. Upon his death, any interest he had in the property passes to the children named in the deed.

What happens to property when a tenant dies?

When one “tenant” dies, the property will pass to the survivor. Additionally, a common arrangement between elderly parents and adult children is to deed the property to the children, with the parents retaining “life use”. This means that the parent has the right to live in the residence during his lifetime.

Can a decedent leave instructions for how his estate should be distributed?

A decedent may leave instructions for how his estate should be distributed in a will or a trust document. In this case, the rights of family members will be dictated by the terms of the will or trust. A member of the family will likely be named in the will as the personal representative of the estate or as the trustee of a trust.

Where did Regan Rondinelli-Haberek get her Juris Doctor?

Regan Rondinelli-Haberek received her Juris Doctor from New England Law in Boston, Massachusetts in 2008. She has researched and written about various areas of the law including constitutional principles and criminal appeals. While in practice, as an associate in a small law firm, she concentrated in the areas of estate planning and administration, real estate, and social security/disability.

Can a will be named as a trustee?

A member of the family will likely be named in the will as the personal representative of the estate or as the trustee of a trust. A trustee can begin trust administration upon the decedent’s death, without court supervision. However, if an individual left a will, it will most likely have to be submitted for probate.

How to get your sister to act as a go-between?

Otherwise, you could either instruct a lawyer ( actaps.com) who specialises in wills, write a letter to your sister yourself, either requesting a meeting to ask for this information, or ask for it in the letter.

Why do people cling to material goods when they die?

Sometimes when people die, people cling on to material goods because it's all that's left. What I would say to both of you is, try to make sure you are not trying to redress any inequalities you felt there were during your mother's life.

What is the ultimate course of action in the case of Roberts?

The onus is on your sister to prove this. The ultimate course of action is court proceedings to get the money back to the estate. Roberts advises trying to sort things out before it gets to that and for the level of money you're talking about, it is worth pursuing.

Can your sister use your cards after your death?

Your sister does not seem to have been transparent in her dealings with you. She may have acted to purposely defraud you, thinking you were out of the way, or else circumstances may have meant that things got out of control and now she can't admit it. Or your mother may well have agreed, before she lost capacity, to these monthly outgoings. However, using someone's cards after their death is criminal fraud.

How to ensure that your wishes are carried out?

Unless you live in a state that recognizes and enforces legally-binding documents, the best way to ensure that your wishes are carried out is to pay for a funeral pre-plan or to have serious and lengthy discussions with your family to ensure that everyone is clear on what you wish. Even in these cases, it’s a good idea to go ahead and draft a written funeral plan with your lawyer and to place it in a trusted family member’s safekeeping, since states are continually updating their laws to give more rights to the individual.

Who has the most rights in a funeral?

Funeral Rights. In almost all states, family members and spouses are the ones with the most rights. A husband or wife has more rights than a parent or child, and an adult child has more rights than a parent.

What are the rights of a spouse?

In almost all states, family members and spouses are the ones with the most rights. A husband or wife has more rights than a parent or child, and an adult child has more rights than a parent. In order of descending rights, the list generally goes like this: 1 An Agent (as directed by your healthcare directive or legal documents) 2 Spouse (in some states, this includes a domestic partner, but leaving this unclear can lead to messy squabbles—especially in same-sex partnerships that some family members might disapprove of) 3 Adult Children 4 Parents 5 Adult Siblings 6 Other Adult Relatives

Can a family member stray from your wishes?

Your chosen agent or family member might also be allowed to stray from your written wishes if they are financially burdensome or impractical on a large-scale level (unless you’ve made advanced financial arrangements and all of it is paid for).

Should funerals be done with an attorney?

Most experts agree that funeral planning should be undertaken with the guidance of an attorney or financial advisor. Because of the high costs associated with funerals—not to mention the tricky tax laws when it comes to inheritance—it can be diff... more »

Is there a national standard for funeral arrangements?

Unfortunately, there is no national standard that oversees this issue, and every state has their own regulations regarding the rights of family members, spouses, and partners when it comes to funeral arrangements.

Can you alter a funeral plan?

In fact, there are some states that allow survivors to alter the funeral plans. For example, Alaska and North Dakota have no formal rules regarding the legality of written funeral plans, and your next of kin may be able to act according to their own plan. Other states might allow your wishes to be overturned in favor of cremation due to the lower costs and reduced burden on the environment.

How to deal with an executor who is not communicating with beneficiaries?

Luckily, there are steps that can be taken to remedy the problem of an executor not communicating with beneficiaries. When an executor is withholding information , a good first step for beneficiaries is to send the executor a letter requesting the documents they want. It is best for beneficiaries to communicate in writing so there is a record ...

What to do if an executor of an estate is uncertain about whether or not to discuss a decision with beneficiaries

If an executor of the estate is uncertain about whether or not to discuss a decision with beneficiaries, it is recommended that they err on the side of caution. It is always preferable for a beneficiary to have an excess of information about the estate, as opposed to a lack of information. At the end of the day, executors must remember that they are fiduciaries who are supposed to act in the best interests of beneficiaries and no one else.

What happens if a beneficiary does not notify the executor of a will?

If an executor did not properly notify a beneficiary or heir about a decedent’s will, the beneficiary may have a right to bring a will contest to revoke admission of the will to probate. A will contest lawyer can assist beneficiaries with determining whether sufficient grounds exist for contesting the will. It is important for beneficiaries ...

What is a beneficiary lawyer?

A beneficiary lawyer can assist estate beneficiaries with obtaining the information they need from executors if the executor is failing to cooperate.

Why is it frustrating to have an executor withholding information?

It can be frustrating for beneficiaries when the executor is withholding information. An executor failing to operate transparently not only raises suspicion of misconduct, but it can render beneficiaries powerless to enforce their rights. Luckily, there are steps that can be taken to remedy the problem of an executor not communicating ...

Why should beneficiaries seek out information from the executor?

This means that beneficiaries should actively seek out information from the executor if they want to have a say in estate-related decisions, because what an executor considers to be a reasonable amount of information may differ from what a beneficiary considers to be a reasonable amount of information. If an executor of the estate is uncertain ...

Why is it important for beneficiaries to communicate in writing?

It is best for beneficiaries to communicate in writing so there is a record of the requests they have made to the executor. If drastic measures, such as removal, eventually need to be taken, it will be easier to convince the court to approve them with documented proof of the executor’s breaches of duty.

What happens if you don't know what the will maker intended?

If you don't know what the will-maker intended and can't figure out who should inherit a group gift, it's probably time to get professional advice from a probate lawyer.

What happens to a will when a member dies?

Generally, if a member of a group dies before the will-maker does, the property goes to the surviving members of the group, unless the will provides otherwise. For example, say Marcus uses his will to leave a piece of real estate to "my surviving brothers and sisters." The will doesn't name any alternate beneficiaries. When he signs his will, he has two brothers and two sisters still living. At his death, however, his brother Stephen has died, leaving two daughters of his own. The surviving brother and sisters inherit the real estate; Marcus's nieces, the children of his deceased brother, do not get a share.

What is Martindale Nolo?

Nolo is a part of the Martindale Nolo network, which has been matching clients with attorneys for 100+ years.

What is an antilapse statute?

Anti-lapse statutes presume that when you leave property to a close relative and that person dies before you do, you would want that person's children to inherit his or her share. Every state except Louisiana has an anti-lapse statute. The various state laws are the same in broad outline, but differ in particulars.

What happens to property when a member of a group dies?

Generally, if a member of a group dies before the will-maker does, the property goes to the surviving members of the group, unless the will provides otherwise. For example, say Marcus uses his will to leave a piece of real estate to "my surviving brothers and sisters.". The will doesn't name any alternate beneficiaries.

Does Louisiana have an antilapse law?

Every state except Louisiana has an anti-lapse statute. The various state laws are the same in broad outline, but differ in particulars.

Can a will be left to a group of beneficiaries?

It's not uncommon for a will to leave property to a group of beneficiaries without actually naming each one. For example, someone might leave a gift—or an entire estate—to "my children" or "my surviving nieces and nephews.". Because the beneficiaries aren't individually named, but are members of a certain class, lawyers call these "class gifts.".

How to keep beneficiaries from worrying?

To keep beneficiaries from worrying (and complaining), don't wait for them to come to you. When you take on your executor' s responsibilities, starting with filing the will and securing estate property, let everyone know. Tell them that the will named you as executor ( or if there's no will, that you're willing to take on the job and have priority under state law) and that you'll be gathering property, paying bills and taxes, and eventually distributing property to the people who inherit it.

How to avoid probate problems with beneficiaries?

When you're serving as executor, the single best way to avoid problems with beneficiaries is to keep them informed about the process and make your actions as transparent as possible. Let people know what you're doing, and what the court requires you to do.

What is Martindale Nolo?

Nolo is a part of the Martindale Nolo network, which has been matching clients with attorneys for 100+ years.

Why does probate take so long?

It's hard to blame them, because it does take a long time before they can actually receive their inheritances. But it's not the executor's fault. You'll probably need to explain (or remind them, if you've already communicated it) that hard as it may be to believe, that once you file the probate case and publish notice of it in the local newspaper, the law requires you to do nothing for a period of months.

What happens if you are the executor of a trust?

If you're the executor, the beneficiaries' anxiety can come back to haunt you in a big way. If they convince themselves that you're doing a bad job as executor—or that you're dishonestly depriving them of their inheritances—you could even end up with a costly, nasty court battle.

How long do you have to wait to file a death claim?

The waiting period, which varies by state but is typically four to six months, is to give creditors time to hear about the death and come forward with their claims. If they don't, they're out of luck after the waiting period ends.

Is the executor's fault for probate?

But it's not the executor's fault. You'll probably need to explain (or remind them, if you've already communicated it) that hard as it may be to believe, that once you file the probate case and publish notice of it in the local newspaper, the law requires you to do nothing for a period of months.